Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "My Hero"Dawn of Chaos
63 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
I am not really familiar with this poetic style , it looks like prose and I believe there is what we call a prose poetry. Sorry, I have been away for almost one year, my membership have expired and I have just renewed it. There are of course some grammatical issues but the message is valid and relevant.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I am not really familiar with this poetic style , it looks like prose and I believe there is what we call a prose poetry. Sorry, I have been away for almost one year, my membership have expired and I have just renewed it. There are of course some grammatical issues but the message is valid and relevant.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Yes my write has pits, revision are under way: glad flaws didn't hide the intent. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging inspiration.
Comment from Dustybones
I think we could all become Super no matter what, as long as we are honest and loyal to the skill we dedicate ourselves to and do our very best no matter how good we actually do the skill. Dustybones
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I think we could all become Super no matter what, as long as we are honest and loyal to the skill we dedicate ourselves to and do our very best no matter how good we actually do the skill. Dustybones
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Absolute, but always yield a secret identity: an unknown side. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
Comment from Ogden
I to like, not aways to understand, do recognize something different; this is an interesting way to do good. (Both one admirable hero. Same guy, I still believe.)
Good values. Good job!
Don
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I to like, not aways to understand, do recognize something different; this is an interesting way to do good. (Both one admirable hero. Same guy, I still believe.)
Good values. Good job!
Don
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Getting close to a precise view with this write: glad you enjoyed some aspect. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating comments.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A well-written poem about a well known hero we can easily relate to. To be kind and helpful as far as we as humans can do. We become a super hero ourselves.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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A well-written poem about a well known hero we can easily relate to. To be kind and helpful as far as we as humans can do. We become a super hero ourselves.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Glad you caught this revision of the write, more smooth and coherent to read. Thanking you for generous rate and warm thoughts.
Comment from Pantygynt
I must admit to not being in on the superhero cult thing, consequently in found this muddling, particularly towards the end where the poetic style took a turn away from the standard grammar into the style of a cable gram.
There is a reference to Kent who, as I remember was son of superhuman and wonder woman.
To be a good poem a piece must be poetic. That is to say it must use poetic devices. I couldn't spot any here.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I must admit to not being in on the superhero cult thing, consequently in found this muddling, particularly towards the end where the poetic style took a turn away from the standard grammar into the style of a cable gram.
There is a reference to Kent who, as I remember was son of superhuman and wonder woman.
To be a good poem a piece must be poetic. That is to say it must use poetic devices. I couldn't spot any here.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Interesting viewpoint, will consider statements: revisions. Thanking you for generous rate and touching sentiments.
Comment from Beverly Botelho
Interesting. This seems to be a departure from your usual writing. I enjoyed it: it is more down-to-earth than your usual writing. Whatever concepts you choose to explore, you do a great job.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Interesting. This seems to be a departure from your usual writing. I enjoyed it: it is more down-to-earth than your usual writing. Whatever concepts you choose to explore, you do a great job.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I know not much, big disappoint for a fan. I haven left the window concept yet: don't push. Thanking you for generous rate and captivating views.
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You're welcome!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
An admirable strive you talk about here. This would come across better with a good edit for punctuation and grammar. It really doesn't matter what the message of a piece is if the message can't be heard. Punctuation is just as important in poetry as it is for prose. It can completely transform the meaning of a sentence from the intended, sometimes to the opposite.
'Let me tell, about my hero, he stripped clothes to be him, he was a writer; he had daily job in life: a paper man.' There are conjunctives present in this sentence. It is overly long with too many commas. You could also look at the sequencing of events. This is true of all the lines.
The formatting feels very like prose too. I'm not an expert in poetry but it doesn't feel poetic to me.
A good tinkering with sentence structure and examination of punctuation could lift this piece somewhat.
I hope some of this is helpful.
GMG
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Hi there,
An admirable strive you talk about here. This would come across better with a good edit for punctuation and grammar. It really doesn't matter what the message of a piece is if the message can't be heard. Punctuation is just as important in poetry as it is for prose. It can completely transform the meaning of a sentence from the intended, sometimes to the opposite.
'Let me tell, about my hero, he stripped clothes to be him, he was a writer; he had daily job in life: a paper man.' There are conjunctives present in this sentence. It is overly long with too many commas. You could also look at the sequencing of events. This is true of all the lines.
The formatting feels very like prose too. I'm not an expert in poetry but it doesn't feel poetic to me.
A good tinkering with sentence structure and examination of punctuation could lift this piece somewhat.
I hope some of this is helpful.
GMG
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Everything spoken is treasured and appreciated. Super shout out, will take under considerations your thoughts. Thanks for all. Generous rate and constructive criticism.
Comment from beizanten
Very long yet simple and easy to understand. You describe Superman (Clark Kent very well, Great fic! So your favourite hero is Superman, I like him though my favourite is Batman. But yeah Clakr is the most humane Superhero
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Very long yet simple and easy to understand. You describe Superman (Clark Kent very well, Great fic! So your favourite hero is Superman, I like him though my favourite is Batman. But yeah Clakr is the most humane Superhero
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Actually, Flash was my favorite less stress as Superman. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from William Ross
I like the idea of what is written here for a poem but for even a free verse or free form there is no structure, lines that are missing words or sentences that work out with a little work this could be a good piece.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I like the idea of what is written here for a poem but for even a free verse or free form there is no structure, lines that are missing words or sentences that work out with a little work this could be a good piece.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Your absolute correct, I post to get feed back, from these treasured thoughts feelings for revisions: grammar. Revisions have already started. Thanking you for thus welcomed comment and generous rate.
Comment from way2gokevs
There are many hero's in this world and the man of steel was one of the great hero's in comic books and movies, your verse relates to the hero superman and you have described in verse and words.
Nice work, well done, might want to correct the spelling errors.
Cheers, Kev.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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There are many hero's in this world and the man of steel was one of the great hero's in comic books and movies, your verse relates to the hero superman and you have described in verse and words.
Nice work, well done, might want to correct the spelling errors.
Cheers, Kev.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Revisions has already been placed, smoother coherent read. Thanking you for generous rate and ability to see beyond the pits: this write gleam.
