Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

This is a fascinating subject. I never thought I'd hear myself say that lol! My husband is an amateur astronomer and yaps endlessly about it. It never interested me, but maybe it's starting to grow on me. I even enjoyed our tour of the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. I was never a good student, but maybe that's changing in my old age?

So I'm happy to say I know of the Orion's belt you speak of. So fascinating that they can recognize what a new star looks like let alone a whole nursery of them.

Best wishes in this contest.

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Thanks so much Joy for the lovely review. Yep, Orion's sword is right there hanging off the belt - you can actually see that the middle "star" in it is fuzzy (just) with the naked eye.Thanks for the good wishes too. Craig.

Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Craig, I like the concept for the haiku but wonder if the first two lines contain images concrete enough to be considered haiku. What is the "cosmos"? This term is very generic and not descriptive enough for my taste. The reference to Orion's sword was interesting--as I did not know that term for the region of the galaxy where new stars were being formed. I also love astronomy so this was a cool read.

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Hi Pam,

Merriam Webster defines cosmos as "the universe especially when it is understood as an ordered system", which is about the closest I could get to anything in four syllables or less (leaving one for "acts".). I certainly couldn't fit "gravitational forces", which I agree would be better. But I'd certainly appreciate any suggestions if you have a better alternative. Thanks for the kind review, and I'm glad we share a love of astronomy. Much appreciated, Craig

reply by catch22 on 26-May-2016

How about "gases collapse" or "nuclei fuse" to denote star formation?

reply by the author on 26-May-2016

I like both of those suggestions in concept, but there's a problem. The word "acts" at the end is essential, as it is the double meaning of acting that leads to the satori - "a star is born" (as in acting in the theatre). Without that word, the whole idea collapses, and it doesn't fit with either of the phrases you suggested, as good as they are in themselves. I do appreciate the suggestion.

reply by catch22 on 26-May-2016

I see. What about "the strong force acts"?

reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Now that works.

Thanks so much, Pam - great suggestion!

Craig

reply by catch22 on 26-May-2016

Awesome! Glad to help.

Comment from fionageorge

Excellent

You have certainly managed to cover the requirement of the Haiku (syllable count is not necessarily 5-7-5), and you have given us a full perspective of the birth of a new star in very few words. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Thank you, Marijke, for checking out my entry - much appreciated :) Craig

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Interesting to view through even a low-power scope, the cluster in the sword is in the middle of the most spectacular constellation...excellent

 Comment Written 26-May-2016

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reply by the author on 26-May-2016

Thanks for the kind comments, much appreciated :)

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

What a stunner of a haiku Craig. An old friend of mine used to write universe haikus and I'd always get on his case (in a friendly way of course) about how haiku had to be observable. But of course since then I have changed my mind because how can we be certain what people are observing or not, right?

This is stunning all around and I wish you all the best in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Hi Gloria - Thanks to Hubble, and other new technologies, we are actually able to observe so much that we couldn't before. The same applies, I think, at the micro end of the scale - so you're right. Many thanks for the lovely review. Craig

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Wow!!!! Craig this is really amazing. How fascinating about the M42 nebula, the stellar nursery. So incredible to contemplate. You did a very nice job with this, introducing the cosmos acting, within Orion's sword (one of the few constellations I know)...and there, a star is born.

Might be a contest winner here...!

Carol

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Thanks, Carol, for the lovely encouraging comments. It's certainly, along with Scorpio, I guess, and maybe Crux (which you don't get to see in the north :-P), one of the most prominent :) Much appreciated, Craig

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

The universe is as vast and endless as time, Craig. Your well written haiku for the contest captures that immense vastness, places it in a Ball Jar, then invites us all to take a peek.
Great work on this...
~Dean

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Indeed it is, Dean, and that's pretty big! Many thanks for the lovely review. Craig.

reply by Dean Kuch on 25-May-2016

My pleasure, as always, Craig.
Good luck!
~Dean

Comment from --Turtle.

Exceptional

Hi Craig,

It's a nice combo for me, science on a planetary scale and haiku, -- big subject,... packed into a little 4-6-4 form.

I enjoyed the setting of a cosmic-scale stage for an interstellar performance... the double play on the image, and meaning of star. And acts... and phrasing of born in two ways. I got both images ; one of a spectacular scene, and witnessed creation as if done for the sake of an audience. .. the aha satori was satisfying with the two lines of thought in the imagery.

I also appreciated the author notes that added depth of some supporting knowledge to the beauty of the poem.

Nice use of space

ð???

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Hi Turtle, thanks again for a wonderful review. I'm not sure how many previous reviewers picked up on the acts/star thing, as no one has mentioned it. I'm glad you did - you always seem to "get" the point :) And thanks for the delightful six stars. Much appreciated, Craig.

Comment from zanya

Excellent

How uplifting to raise our earthly gaze skyward in this Haiku and enable us to reflect on the perpetual movement within the grandeur of the heavenly bodies and so help to deflect us from our earthly preoccupations especially of the monetary varietylol

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Haha, I wasn't thinking about money when I wrote it - but all donations will be gratefully received! Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I like the image of Orion using his sword to sever the bonds that imprison new stars and allow them to fly, somewhat akin to the severing of an umbilical cord. A haiku that distils the essence of an idea, relating nature to humanity.

 Comment Written 25-May-2016

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reply by the author on 25-May-2016

Thanks, Tony, for sharing your thoughts, and for the kind review. Very much appreciated.