Reviews from

Astatula (Final Edition)

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Living Life"
A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?

9 total reviews 
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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The assassin has been captured is big news, but Sheriff and Beth aren't so sure he's the right guy. They are on their way to Huntsville and express their doubts that Werner is the right man. They also discuss how they like doing things for Cody. After all, he's had such a bad start in life and needs to experience some good times. Here's hoping he and Matt don't have any problems while Sheriff and Beth are away. Great characterization. judi

 Comment Written 26-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you are enjoying and staying with this story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Good story. So sorry I am so late getting on this. Will try and read back a bit and see if I looked at earlier chapters before. I loved the picture. No spags thanks again.

 Comment Written 26-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you are enjoying this story. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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I think the Deputy has made a grievous mistake in the Sheriff's absence. He is so anxious to be a big man in everyone's eye. Just another Barney Pfife in my opinion.
What damage will it do to the man he arrested. When the
cat's away the mouse gets busy, He is up to no good.
Nancy

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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Did I miss reviewing a chapter somewhere?
I got a little lost in the story line.
Where does the green belt slayer come in? And whose mother was killed? Does sheriff have a son?

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 24-May-2016
    Sheriff Daniels had an infant who died from Meningitis when he was 6 months old, his name was Tyler.

    Diane Crews was Tyler's mother.

    Green Belt Slayer was a previous madman Sheriff Daniels arrested several years prior to this story.

    Glad you are enjoying.

    Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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What can I say you did it again
Another great chapter
that kept my attention from the first line to the last
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you are enjoying this misscookie!!!
reply by misscookie on 29-May-2016
    Until next time.
    Cookie
reply by misscookie on 30-May-2016
    Until next time
    Cookie
Comment from Jonadab Ezerie
Excellent
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Another great chapter my friend, I have been keeping up with your works and seems you surprise me because this chapter is as outstanding as all other previous chapters, you have a way of arousing the interest of the reader.Thanks for sharing .

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Stay tuned. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from bookishfabler
Good
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Astatula Assassin that's a big relief, Sweetie," Sheriff Daniels commented, "now maybe we can all get back to more stability. (I believe these are two separate sentences, so I would use a period and a capital on Now.
Only use the commas when the sentence hasn't been finished.

(This line also.) Since you are placing the speech tags in the middle rather than the end, be aware when you have two separate sentences.
Maybe instead of so many speech tags you can show some action, like He pulled out a cigarette, or he scratched his head. Something to that effect. Showing is better than telling.

I like your story. I'm sorry I picked it up late in the novel, but it was easy to follow. I would like to read more. I hope my suggestions are helpful.

Thanks for sharing
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 24-May-2016
    I consider all suggestions and have incorporated a few of them into the story including Cody's Corner. That was another FanStorian's recommendation. So, keep them coming.
Comment from way2gokevs
Excellent
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Has the makings of an intriguing story, good story line, flows well, kept me reading.
Written and spaced for easy on the eye.
Can't wait to see who actually is the mass murderer.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers.
Kev.

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come. So stay tuned. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hi Brett,

This is another interesting chapter that you have written. I just love reading your work as you are great at writing them. I am really enjoying reading every chapter that you write.

Kat

 Comment Written 24-May-2016


reply by the author on 29-May-2016
    Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come so stay tuned. Your comments and support appreciated.
reply by MizKat on 29-May-2016
    Hi Brett,

    I plan to read your next chapter. You are writing a very interesting story or book.

    Kat