Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "When These Meet"Assorted poetry
8 total reviews
Comment from JP49
Lovely. It gave me goose-bumps especially about the spiders and the earwig? My mother-in-law found an earwig in her ear once. Frightening!! Well done for writing these. Very realistic. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Lovely. It gave me goose-bumps especially about the spiders and the earwig? My mother-in-law found an earwig in her ear once. Frightening!! Well done for writing these. Very realistic. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-May-2016
reply by the author on 19-May-2016
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You have done a good job with this haiku suite. Certainly zeroed in on some pretty skin-crawling creatures!
You might want to edit your description line as it reads 'haku suite' rather than 'haiku'
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Hi there,
You have done a good job with this haiku suite. Certainly zeroed in on some pretty skin-crawling creatures!
You might want to edit your description line as it reads 'haku suite' rather than 'haiku'
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 17-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Thainku
Comment from BOO ghost
Nicely done. A haiku trio of creepy crawlers and creatures galore! Nice photos to boot. The green on green words do look great! Looks like 5/7/5 to me with the satire moment. Outstanding! BOO is impressed. How on earth can this be beat? BOO
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Nicely done. A haiku trio of creepy crawlers and creatures galore! Nice photos to boot. The green on green words do look great! Looks like 5/7/5 to me with the satire moment. Outstanding! BOO is impressed. How on earth can this be beat? BOO
Comment Written 16-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Thank you for the positive review.
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BOO!BOO!
Comment from Dean Kuch
First and foremost, thanks for taking on this challenge, Anonymous Poet. Now ... let's see what ya got...
The earwig crawls in
Nestling nicely within you
Sanity slips out ... Good 5/7/5 syllable count in this haiku that literally sticks in your mind. Nice word economy and use of strong verbs, such as "crawls" and "slips". Frightening ...
The python flexes
muscle with a mouth unhinged
you're eaten alive ... Again, syllable count is dead on (no puns intended). Two grammatically connected lines in 1 and 2. The last line, or satori, pretty much says it all. Gulp!
Spider eggs are hatched
The host still remains alive
The first feast begins ... This was my favorite of the three, again utilizing a 5/7/5 syllable count. The satori creates a chilling image while using subtle examples of alliteration (first feast). Nice ...
All three are presented well, in a green color presentation which ties them all together very well. All are written in the "here and now", or present tense.
Great work here, for all three haiku. Good luck in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-May-2016
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First and foremost, thanks for taking on this challenge, Anonymous Poet. Now ... let's see what ya got...
The earwig crawls in
Nestling nicely within you
Sanity slips out ... Good 5/7/5 syllable count in this haiku that literally sticks in your mind. Nice word economy and use of strong verbs, such as "crawls" and "slips". Frightening ...
The python flexes
muscle with a mouth unhinged
you're eaten alive ... Again, syllable count is dead on (no puns intended). Two grammatically connected lines in 1 and 2. The last line, or satori, pretty much says it all. Gulp!
Spider eggs are hatched
The host still remains alive
The first feast begins ... This was my favorite of the three, again utilizing a 5/7/5 syllable count. The satori creates a chilling image while using subtle examples of alliteration (first feast). Nice ...
All three are presented well, in a green color presentation which ties them all together very well. All are written in the "here and now", or present tense.
Great work here, for all three haiku. Good luck in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 16-May-2016
reply by the author on 16-May-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for the detailed and encouraging review.
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It was my pleasure. :)
Comment from RYME4U
Oh how gross and scary. You picked three good examples of creepy critters. Very descriptive. The presentation with the pictures is very well done. Great job!
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Oh how gross and scary. You picked three good examples of creepy critters. Very descriptive. The presentation with the pictures is very well done. Great job!
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Thank you for reviewing.
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from foxangie123
A great entry to the contest indeed. How did you get three pictures on one page? It is really neat. This will be difficult to beat in this contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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A great entry to the contest indeed. How did you get three pictures on one page? It is really neat. This will be difficult to beat in this contest.
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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In ADVANCED EDITOR there is an image insert icon that uses the URL of the picture. Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from pmait
Now this is a different view of nature than the usual flowers and hummingbirds.
I approve of the poetry, just keep those things away from me! I like your inclusion of a separate picture for each haiku. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Now this is a different view of nature than the usual flowers and hummingbirds.
I approve of the poetry, just keep those things away from me! I like your inclusion of a separate picture for each haiku. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from rmj09
The genre is Horrors of Nature haiku suite. 3 haiku 17 or less syllables. Yours are 17-17-18. Drop first and you'll have The 17 syllables for all three.
The poem focus horrors of nature.
The poem story line development: In the days long ago it was said earwigs crawled in our ears at night, not true, but I enjoyed the poem. The python flexes your swallowed alive and spider eggs hatched, host still alive, feast begins. Could give you nightmares.
Keep on writing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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The genre is Horrors of Nature haiku suite. 3 haiku 17 or less syllables. Yours are 17-17-18. Drop first and you'll have The 17 syllables for all three.
The poem focus horrors of nature.
The poem story line development: In the days long ago it was said earwigs crawled in our ears at night, not true, but I enjoyed the poem. The python flexes your swallowed alive and spider eggs hatched, host still alive, feast begins. Could give you nightmares.
Keep on writing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Thank you for reviewing. I count 17 per poem. Could you specify where you think there are more?
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The spider haiku the last sentence.
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Spider 2. Eggs 1 are 1 hatched 1 =. 5
The1 host 1 still 1 remains 2 alive 2 = 7
The 1 first 1 feast 1 begins 2 = 5
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You are right, I'm sorry.