senryu (feel of the spring sun)
5-7-5 contest45 total reviews
Comment from Lisa Deverick
So few words yet such a powerful message. I like that you did not use any capital letters or punctuation. I think it gives your words more power and intrigue
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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So few words yet such a powerful message. I like that you did not use any capital letters or punctuation. I think it gives your words more power and intrigue
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Lisa, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. Thanks!
Comment from LIJ Red
The five seven five prompt seems very straightforward, and this short work seems to adhere to that prompt. The message is true, indeed. Excellent.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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The five seven five prompt seems very straightforward, and this short work seems to adhere to that prompt. The message is true, indeed. Excellent.
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Wow! Thank you so much, LIJ Red, for your wonderful rating and kind review for my little poem. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, and appreciate your taking the time to read and share your encouraging comments. Thanks!
Comment from Pantygynt
thisd should not be confused with the haiku. The only rule in the 5-7-5 contest is that the syllable count should accurate. It is. After that you simply have to consider whatever the message of the poem is. This is a nice way of telling us that summer is on its way.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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thisd should not be confused with the haiku. The only rule in the 5-7-5 contest is that the syllable count should accurate. It is. After that you simply have to consider whatever the message of the poem is. This is a nice way of telling us that summer is on its way.
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Yeah I agree about the difference between haiku and the FanStory 5-7-5 prompts. If the writer wants to utilize the rules of haiku, then the poem form can be used for either format. Thanks for your review and sharing your thoughts, Pantygynt.
Comment from NJK62
This is a witty and original poem about spring. It evokes the sense of renewal that the sun brings after winter, so effectively conveyed through the image of the 'hibernating face'. Furthermore, the alliteration of 'brings me back to life' give the satori line additional force. Well done and thanks for sharing it with us. Nigel.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This is a witty and original poem about spring. It evokes the sense of renewal that the sun brings after winter, so effectively conveyed through the image of the 'hibernating face'. Furthermore, the alliteration of 'brings me back to life' give the satori line additional force. Well done and thanks for sharing it with us. Nigel.
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Nigel, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. I'm very pleased you enjoyed the poem! Thank you.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Isn't that the way for us all? After a long winter, we now can feel that sun and come alive again. And you have said all that in those few words. Well done, it's a lovely 5-7-5 contest entry. Good luck! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Isn't that the way for us all? After a long winter, we now can feel that sun and come alive again. And you have said all that in those few words. Well done, it's a lovely 5-7-5 contest entry. Good luck! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Sandra, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. Thanks!
Comment from William Ross
Very nice on the 5.7.5 the spring son brings me out of hibernation and back to life as well. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Very nice on the 5.7.5 the spring son brings me out of hibernation and back to life as well. Good luck on this and have a wonderful day
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Bill, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. Thanks!
Comment from RosieCus
An excellent contest entry. I like the line "hibernating face". I think we do retreat into ourselves and our dwellings during winter. Spring spiritually brings us all back to life. The two words convey so much meaning for me. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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An excellent contest entry. I like the line "hibernating face". I think we do retreat into ourselves and our dwellings during winter. Spring spiritually brings us all back to life. The two words convey so much meaning for me. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Rosie, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. Thanks!
Comment from tony bronk
A very nice 5-7-5- but your first line is six syllables long. Feel is 2 syllables.fee-el. I know this for a fact. Very nice poem otherwise. Tony Bronk
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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A very nice 5-7-5- but your first line is six syllables long. Feel is 2 syllables.fee-el. I know this for a fact. Very nice poem otherwise. Tony Bronk
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Tony, for this review and your comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. It must be your pronunciation of feel, because Merriam-Webster, Poetry Soup, and How Many Syllables all give the word one syllable. Thanks!
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Guess I'm wrong! Tony
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Not accented syllable though. Tony
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But not accented syllables, though for meter. Tony
Comment from zekeziemann
Hibernating face. I like that. Good job and correct in the 5-7-5 requirement. The spring sun is also well thought out.
Zeke
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Hibernating face. I like that. Good job and correct in the 5-7-5 requirement. The spring sun is also well thought out.
Zeke
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Zeke, for this great review and your kind comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. Thanks!
Comment from PoemsOfDD
This is an interesting entry into the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. I like how this piece feels and what it is about. However, I'm not entirely convinced on the last word of the middle line.
How does a face hibernate? What sprung to my mind was a 'hibernating soul'. Just throwing it out there. Best of luck for the competition. ~DD
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This is an interesting entry into the 5-7-5 writing prompt contest. I like how this piece feels and what it is about. However, I'm not entirely convinced on the last word of the middle line.
How does a face hibernate? What sprung to my mind was a 'hibernating soul'. Just throwing it out there. Best of luck for the competition. ~DD
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Thanks, PoemsOfDD, for your review and comments for my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your comments. It was just a little metaphor to describe my face hiding away from sunlight. Thanks!
