Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Gold Mine"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
5 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Brett,
I feel the chapter was well plotted and contained the mystery and intrigue required to draw a reader in to read on.
I t certainly sounds interesting to me and I found no glaring errors in the format or script.
Yes! I think the characters and storyline are realistic and work well together.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 13-May-2016
  |
Hi Brett,
I feel the chapter was well plotted and contained the mystery and intrigue required to draw a reader in to read on.
I t certainly sounds interesting to me and I found no glaring errors in the format or script.
Yes! I think the characters and storyline are realistic and work well together.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 11-May-2016
reply by the author on 13-May-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my book. Stay tuned. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from foxangie123
I think it is great writing indeed and of the most entertaining. It kind of reminds me of the Andy Griffith show actually. If I had six they'd be yours but I don't so five it is doll.
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
|
I think it is great writing indeed and of the most entertaining. It kind of reminds me of the Andy Griffith show actually. If I had six they'd be yours but I don't so five it is doll.
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Interresting and holding my attention.
I must have missed something thought, I am confused as to the 24 shots and why does Cody know about them? Did he know Taylor from before? Why does Taylor hate him so much? Where did I miss all lthis?
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
|
Interresting and holding my attention.
I must have missed something thought, I am confused as to the 24 shots and why does Cody know about them? Did he know Taylor from before? Why does Taylor hate him so much? Where did I miss all lthis?
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
-
Some of it has not completely come out yet.
Question 1 - At the Fish Fry, Cody overheard something that was said. (stated in Gold Mine).
Question 2 - That may tend to give me another line of thought for the book. (??????)
Question 3 - Taylor seems to hate Cody simply because he is an outsider (stated in Gold Mine).
Do stay tuned for the rest of the story.
Your comments and support appreciated.
-
Thank you so much. I appreciate this
Comment from Jonadab Ezerie
I have read previous chapters ,each chapters seems to be getting more better and interesting .I just don t see what needs improving.Thanks for the read
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
|
I have read previous chapters ,each chapters seems to be getting more better and interesting .I just don t see what needs improving.Thanks for the read
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of the book. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from jane.fallon
Well, I slapped some stars on it. Now, here's your homework.
"In his own book anyway" I feel should be in brackets
"Dragged out from under, - note the comma
"tote the lad out to sea" - should this be "tow"
"Trouble -send help" - should be in inverted commas Because it's the name of that type of call.
"One never knew" - makes him sound like he's doing the Queen's Christmas speech
When you describe the sort of calls that he went out to, this could be an opportunity for a little humour - for instance "and sometimes even an old lady chasing cats up a tree"
"And find what he was looking for" would be better in brackets. Same for "and trash can liners" - better in brackets.
"The question was - comma"
You could describe the physical stresses on Cody's body as he started looking around in danger of getting caught, ie the sweat on his face, the increased heart rate , the sick feeling in his belly.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
|
Well, I slapped some stars on it. Now, here's your homework.
"In his own book anyway" I feel should be in brackets
"Dragged out from under, - note the comma
"tote the lad out to sea" - should this be "tow"
"Trouble -send help" - should be in inverted commas Because it's the name of that type of call.
"One never knew" - makes him sound like he's doing the Queen's Christmas speech
When you describe the sort of calls that he went out to, this could be an opportunity for a little humour - for instance "and sometimes even an old lady chasing cats up a tree"
"And find what he was looking for" would be better in brackets. Same for "and trash can liners" - better in brackets.
"The question was - comma"
You could describe the physical stresses on Cody's body as he started looking around in danger of getting caught, ie the sweat on his face, the increased heart rate , the sick feeling in his belly.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
-
Appreciate the insightful review and the suggestions. Noted, corrected, and invite you to stay tuned. Much more to come.
-
Thank you very much for the nomination. I enjoy helping people with reviews, even if we are in the same contest.
