Comment from Treischel

Exceptional

Your poetic imagery was exquisite in this free style poem (Free Verse is unstructured with no rhyme, Free Style is unstructured with rhyme as you have here), as it greets the sunset with wine and greet the day with coffee. Marvelous use of wine and grape references. The seashore is a lovely backdrop.

 Comment Written 01-May-2016

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reply by the author on 01-May-2016

Thanks so much, Tom. I made up a story about living in my favorite place on earth (near Shelter Cove, CA). Steep mountains above the ocean, and totally remote.
Oh, Robert (rspoet) told me that it's free style, not free verse. But thanks - I'm a bit of a hack, I like to jump in and write and probably break a lot of rules along the way...
Carol

Comment from mfowler

Exceptional

Shades of Mary Oliver. Forgive me if I've said that before, but the repeated message of that famous poet is embodied in her verse - the declaration of connection between soul and nature, between our physical presence and the natural world within our reach she calls it her work, loving it and feeling it back. This three part piece shows you immersed in the mysteries of night, wandering along the beach observing the creeks, the birds, the flowers along the verge, and lastly revealing that loving the world in its beauty is your work. You utilize stunning imagery and an array of clever free verse techniques to create flow and feel. Some of your alliterative passages are masterful. Loved your work.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 01-May-2016

Never apologize for recalling Mary Oliver when you read my poems! That is a huge compliment! You've inspired me to read more of her work. I'd heard of her before, but I really haven't read much poetry before joining Fan Story, and very little modern poetry other than Jack Gilbert and Robert Bly. I really, really do love the natural world. How wonderful that Mary Oliver also called this love of nature her work! It makes me excited to investigate Thank you so much for these comments :)
Carol

reply by mfowler on 01-May-2016

?it is a serious thing // just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world.?
― Mary Oliver, Red Bird


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Mary Oliver quotes (showing 31-60 of 372)
?I stood willingly and gladly in the characters of everything - other people, trees, clouds. And this is what I learned, that the world's otherness is antidote to confusion - that standing within this otherness - the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books - can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.?
― Mary Oliver
237 likes
Like
?

"Snow was falling,
so much like stars
filling the dark trees
that one could easily imagine
its reason for being was nothing more
than prettiness.?
― Mary Oliver
tags: beauty, nature, prettiness, snow, winter, winter-night
223 likes
Like
?When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement.

--from WHEN DEATH COMES?
― Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems, Vol. 1
215 likes
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?I read the way a person might swim, to save his or her life. I wrote that way too.?
― Mary Oliver, Wild Geese
tags: reading, writing
213 likes
Like
?So every day
I was surrounded by the beautiful crying forth
of the ideas of God,
one of which was you.?
― Mary Oliver
207 likes
Like
?Love Sorrow

Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
take care of what has been
given. Brush her hair, help her
into her little coat, hold her hand,
especially when crossing a street. For, think,

what if you should lose her? Then you would be
sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness
would be yours. Take care, touch
her forehead that she feel herself not so

utterly alone. And smile, that she does not
altogether forget the world before the lesson.
Have patience in abundance. And do not
ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment

by herself, which is to say, possibly, again,
abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult,
sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child.
And amazing things can happen. And you may see,

as the two of you go
walking together in the morning light, how
little by little she relaxes; she looks about her;
she begins to grow.?
― Mary Oliver, Red Bird
tags: pain, poetry, sorrow
186 likes
Like
?maybe death
isn't darkness, after all,
but so much light
wrapping itself around us--?
― Mary Oliver, Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays
185 likes
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?If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don?t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happened better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that?s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don?t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. (Don't Hesitate)?
― Mary Oliver, Swan: Poems and Prose Poems
tags: beauty-in-nature, love, nature, poetry
184 likes
Like
?I Go Down To The Shore

I go down to the shore in the morning
and depending on the hour the waves
are rolling in or moving out,
and I say, oh, I am miserable,
what shall?
what should I do? And the sea says
in its lovely voice:
Excuse me, I have work to do.?
― Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings
tags: nature, poetry
181 likes
Like
?He is exactly the poem I wanted to write.?
― Mary Oliver
173 likes
Like
?In Blackwater Woods

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.?
― Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems, Vol. 1
tags: poetry
168 likes
Like
?Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going.?
― Mary Oliver
168 likes
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?the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own?
― Mary Oliver
tags: poetry
158 likes
Like
?it is a serious thing // just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world.?
― Mary Oliver, Red Bird
154 likes
Like
?I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time when something wonderful has touched us...?
― Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems, Vol. 2
tags: snow-geese
144 likes
Like
?And that is just the point... how the world, moist and beautiful, calls to each of us to make a new and serious response. That's the big question, the one the world throws at you every morning. "Here you are, alive. Would you like to make a comment??
― Mary Oliver

?Praying

It doesn?t have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don?t try
to make them elaborate, this isn?t
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.?
― Mary Oliver, Thirst

?Why I Wake Early

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who made the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety ?



best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light ?

good morning, good morning, good morning.



Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.?
― Mary Oliver

?A dog comes to you and lives with you in your own house, but you do not therefore own her, as you do not own the rain, or the trees, or the laws which pertain to them ...

A dog can never tell you what she knows from the smells of the world, but you know, watching her, that you know almost nothing. . .?
― Mary Oliver

?Every day I see or hear something that more or less kills me with delight, that leaves me like a needle in the haystack of light.?
― Mary Oliver

?You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.?
― Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

?My work is loving the world. Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird?equal seekers of sweetness.?
― Mary Oliver

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Another really strong poem, which I read a few times. Each time I appreciated the complexity and integration of how the words balance against each other, some slipping in to weave a first line directly into the second line, using a slight echo in a positive way, giving an interlocking sensation... some just the great vivid descriptive bursts of verbs and supporting adjectives. The free form in rhyme here, I thought musical type of verse... a peaceful type of poem that strangely... made me want to pour a glass of wine.

Very pretty, this, and my only regret is I seem to be running on empty to gather the full meaning of the words. As each image happens like a breeze, caressing my awareness and yet slipping through my total grasp.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016

Haha, it made me want to pour a glass of wine too! See if you can find yourself a nice, oaky Chardonnay from Mendocino California...
Okay, here's what I was thinking. There's a place called the Lost Coast in Northern California that I love. I was picturing that I had a house there, way up near the ridge (2000') overlooking the ocean. At night I'd stand on the deck to hear and feel the sea after dark. Fog often rolls in for the late night to early morning hours.
The next day I'd awake at dawn, watching the sea light up as the sun rose. Drinking black coffee. Gazing around at the long green ridges coming off the main ridge up to King's Peak. Lots of little streams flow down each canyon to the ocean. One time I was walking on the beach, about 10 miles from the closest road or town, and came around a corner to see a young sea lion galloping along on his flippers. The slope of the mountain down to the sea are very steep and craggy, all hung with vines and wildflowers.
the last section is about working in my dream garden, and just calling my deep love and reverence of nature "my work". Another reviewer told me that poet Mary Oliver has said something similar (I did not copy her, I had no idea).
I was thinking of saying my work was at the little country store that sits above the town on the coast (one road down to this town, no other roads for 12 miles in either direction!). That might be another poem coming up!
Sorry this is long....
I always say, too, the poem's meaning is about what it means to you, and how you feel reading it!
Carol

reply by --Turtle. on 30-Apr-2016

I felt like I was outside surrounded by pleasure. Thanks for the clarification though, it helps me identify with why it kept slipping through my grasp; as being able to be so submerged in nature is semi-alien to me. The finery and details escape me on occasion because I'm inside my imagination so often and because so often my surroundings are concrete and ashphalt.

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

This is a strong worded poem. Had a little trouble at first, but got it to flow. I find no fault. I saw no mistakes. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Yes, someone else said that about the beginning. Thanks for taking a look!
Carol

Comment from Jonadab Ezerie

Excellent

Excellent piece of work .I can relate with this beautiful poem. I love the rhyme . You have great writing skills. I enjoy your unique writing style .Good job

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, I appreciate your review! I checked out your profile too - could not resist the name "sealord" :)
Carol

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Nice image and impressive poem.
-Full of all kinds of imagery: colors, sights, animals, the ocean.
-A few of the lines I like are:
* "lean back into the velvet night"
* "the wings of music in my trees -
hearts stop to hear the thrushes sing -"
-I didn't know what this meant:
"crytal-pure and fair"

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Ugh, I forgot to change that last line you mentioned -should be crystal. Maybe crystal-clear would be better?

Carol

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Apr-2016

You could try just using
pouring crystal- pure and fair or pouring crystal clear.
I don't know if you used that if you would want the next line to start with on:
pouring crystal clear
on beaches... Try different combinations and go with what you feel fits the best.

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

I wasn't sure I wanted to use crystal clear as that is more of a cliched phrase...but I want it to make sense!

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Apr-2016

I like it the way you have it. I think you are right about crystal clear.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Mystical, like a present day druid spirit
touching the heart and soul of existence
your words are your music
best I think unaccompanied
If I quoted a favorite passage I would quote the entire poem
for none should be taken out of context
like a leaf should remain on a tree and a star in the night sky
What a wonderful business you have
for to call on the wind
you must first know the name of the wind
and whisper psithurism
Beautiful poem, perhaps mytical
Probably free form because of the rhyme
but there are writers on both sides of that issue
Alas, I have no six
so on the next clear night, look up
and I'll send your thousands

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Hi Robert,
Didn't you like the music? Lol. That's okay. I probably won't do it often.
Well, this is the first time I've ever had to look up a word in a review - psithurism. Amazing word!
I guess free form is more precise than free verse, because of the rhyme. I've been doing "free verse with rhyme" lately after reading TS Eliot - feeling inspired :)
Thank you so, so much! I'll look for all my stars tonight :))
Carol

reply by rspoet on 29-Apr-2016

I don't share psithurism with just anyone. Enjoy the stars.

reply by the author on 29-Apr-2016

Lolol - thank you :)

Comment from nancyrabbrose

Excellent

You have written a beautiful poem full of many well-described images that bring the reader to the scene. You bring in scents, sounds and the feel of the wind. Well done.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much!
Carol

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Well, I can tell rather easily where Dean's talents came in. *smile* Very cool.

I really liked this poem - very different from your usual fare. Very beachy and a very 'Californian' feel to it. Loose and free and wind in your hair -- maybe with in-line blades on your shoes...? Very cool, as I said.

The alliteration and assonance were out the window. Great job.

BTW, if you get a chance, stop by and see the poem I dedicated to you in the last coupla days - about the mountain.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Yeah, that wasn't a hard one... and thank goodness for Dean, I NEVER would have figured that out! Oh, I certainly will stop by and thanks in advance!!
The place I'm describing is full of hippies and organic farms - so, yes VERRRRY California :)
Carol

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

This is a very deep and emotional poem
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
Your words touched me very deeply.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thanks so much, Cookie - it was an emotional one to write too,
Carol

reply by misscookie on 28-Apr-2016

You're very welcome, take care.
Cookie