The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Piper, part 7"Young Adult Fantasy
20 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Okay, I said I was going to skip around on the reviews, but I had to add something in here on your style. I like the way you go forward in time, then sort of flashback as you reveal what we missed. It's brilliant. I have a habit of just throwing information out in sequential order. In this chapter, as well as in some others, you subtly put it out there and make it seamless.
Well done,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
  |
Okay, I said I was going to skip around on the reviews, but I had to add something in here on your style. I like the way you go forward in time, then sort of flashback as you reveal what we missed. It's brilliant. I have a habit of just throwing information out in sequential order. In this chapter, as well as in some others, you subtly put it out there and make it seamless.
Well done,
Rhonda
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
-
Hi Rhonda,
Thank you again for your interest in this story. I appreciate the encouragement. I'm glad you like the flashback in this chapter. It just seemed the thing to do at the time.
Debi
Comment from karenina
I am now at the point in your story that I think my grandson would love this read to him. (He is eight)-- I am likely going to begin that process when next he visits!
And that quill! No spells conjured then...but an important message scribed by the mysterious Fae...
One note for your consideration:
"You sure you didn't practice with him beforehand." (Should this end with a question mark?
(I did pause to ask myself if any lad would have "forgotten" about an entire estate...but I shall suspend my disbelief!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
|
I am now at the point in your story that I think my grandson would love this read to him. (He is eight)-- I am likely going to begin that process when next he visits!
And that quill! No spells conjured then...but an important message scribed by the mysterious Fae...
One note for your consideration:
"You sure you didn't practice with him beforehand." (Should this end with a question mark?
(I did pause to ask myself if any lad would have "forgotten" about an entire estate...but I shall suspend my disbelief!)
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
-
Hi Karenina,
I'm happy to hear you think your grandson may like the story.
Thank you for catching the SPAG. I have corrected the punctuation.
Debi
-
I must have swamped you with reviews! Please don't feel like you have to answer them all! (Very kind, though!)
Comment from May 1
Hm, I would be angry with my friend if they didn't save me a seat. Wow, that's awesome that he got the chance to seat among the performers. Rupert sure loves teasing, he is so fun. Huh, interesting development but I am still suspicious of Braun and I have no idea why. Wow, Piper's life sure has taken a mysterious turn. I love how the story pulls the reader in.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
|
Hm, I would be angry with my friend if they didn't save me a seat. Wow, that's awesome that he got the chance to seat among the performers. Rupert sure loves teasing, he is so fun. Huh, interesting development but I am still suspicious of Braun and I have no idea why. Wow, Piper's life sure has taken a mysterious turn. I love how the story pulls the reader in.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2020
-
Hi May 1,
Thank you for going back to read this story. I love your comments. Yes, Rupert does love teasing.
Debi
Comment from TallySally
Just now coming in on your story. I was able to get going with the plot even so. This is an entertaining fantasy. I enjoyed it and I can see it as very interesting to a young person.
Nice write. Nice read.
God bless and my best,
Relda
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
|
Just now coming in on your story. I was able to get going with the plot even so. This is an entertaining fantasy. I enjoyed it and I can see it as very interesting to a young person.
Nice write. Nice read.
God bless and my best,
Relda
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
-
Hi Relda,
Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing. I am pleased to hear you enjoyed reading the story even though you were joining it. Thank you for stopping in to read and review.
Debi
Comment from candyfink
This was well written and easy to read. I was able to connect with the characters. You write well and detailed. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
|
This was well written and easy to read. I was able to connect with the characters. You write well and detailed. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
-
Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate you stopping in to read and review.
Comment from Spitfire
What a cat and mouse game you have going. Piper comes across as sweet but naïve. However the Fae is clever and always in disguise. Smooth writing with a nice mix of narration and dialogue.
reply by the author on 07-May-2016
|
What a cat and mouse game you have going. Piper comes across as sweet but naïve. However the Fae is clever and always in disguise. Smooth writing with a nice mix of narration and dialogue.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-May-2016
-
H, Shari. Thank you so much for stopping by. Sorry for the delayed response. I appreciate you keeping up with th story.Things should be moving forward more quickly. in the next few chapters. Piper has had a rather protected life in the castle. It is time he saw some other parts of life.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Really nice work on this part of the story. The Fae and the captain seem to have a past of sorts. This should be very interesting. You have my attention. I found one minor thing.
"Hey, I appreciate you taking me with you so I can get up north and see the estate my grandfather left me. ' Suggest a comma before the conjunction so.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
|
Really nice work on this part of the story. The Fae and the captain seem to have a past of sorts. This should be very interesting. You have my attention. I found one minor thing.
"Hey, I appreciate you taking me with you so I can get up north and see the estate my grandfather left me. ' Suggest a comma before the conjunction so.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
-
Hi Russell,
Thank you so much for the feedback and suggestions. I appreciate you stopping in to read and review.
Debi
Comment from Mary Wakeford
You have set the scene well with the precursor to the story giving just enough of an outline for the story. Your scene description and conversation between the characters is well written and believable. One can't help but get the feeling that something is very amiss and the intensity of the story is about to pick up. Excellent staging.
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
|
You have set the scene well with the precursor to the story giving just enough of an outline for the story. Your scene description and conversation between the characters is well written and believable. One can't help but get the feeling that something is very amiss and the intensity of the story is about to pick up. Excellent staging.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
-
Thank you for the detailed and encouraging review. I appreciate you pointing out specifics such as the conversation and the descriptions. I appreciate your insights about the intensity of the story about to pick up. That is what I am hoping for.
Sorry for the delayed reply. Life is a bit crazy at present.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-It's nice to see Piper back, and what an experience he is having.
-A duet with Braun; traveling and touring with Braun; and going to see his grandfather's estate that was left to him.
-Things are looking up, or so we think!
-Then, Piper opens the new satchel, and I said, "Uh,oh."
-Then, the missing quill and a mysterious note.
-Of course, the Fae appears, and wants to meet, at midnight; we know that isn't good either.
-But then Burkehart shows up shortly afterwards, and that is where we are left...until next time.
-One very small thing toward the end, " I don't know you name." [your]
-I continue to enjoy Piper's adventure, and look forward to each one.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
 |
-It's nice to see Piper back, and what an experience he is having.
-A duet with Braun; traveling and touring with Braun; and going to see his grandfather's estate that was left to him.
-Things are looking up, or so we think!
-Then, Piper opens the new satchel, and I said, "Uh,oh."
-Then, the missing quill and a mysterious note.
-Of course, the Fae appears, and wants to meet, at midnight; we know that isn't good either.
-But then Burkehart shows up shortly afterwards, and that is where we are left...until next time.
-One very small thing toward the end, " I don't know you name." [your]
-I continue to enjoy Piper's adventure, and look forward to each one.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
-
Thank you for the very kind review and the shiny six stars! I appreciate your continued support. Thank you for catching the spelling error. I am happy to hear you are enjoying the story. Life is being a bit crazy for me right now, but I hope to have the next chapter posted soon.
-
You are very welcome for the stars and review and the support. The series is well written and keeps the reader's interest. Life does have a way of getting crazy, but it is the first priority.
Comment from rspoet
Now you just can't end a chapter like that
"Good evening, Piper, and to you as well, Troubadour."
This reminds me of the old serial novels
where readers would hang by the fingernails
waiting for the next chapter to appear
And what about The Black Forest Fife?
Had to be a black forest fife didn't it
couldn't be a pleasant Green Forest Fife
I love the names you choose,
Braun was a dragon rider in Paolini's Eragon
Your story moves along beautifully
I'm a big fan of fantasy novels
and your story is very, very good
Well done
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
|
Now you just can't end a chapter like that
"Good evening, Piper, and to you as well, Troubadour."
This reminds me of the old serial novels
where readers would hang by the fingernails
waiting for the next chapter to appear
And what about The Black Forest Fife?
Had to be a black forest fife didn't it
couldn't be a pleasant Green Forest Fife
I love the names you choose,
Braun was a dragon rider in Paolini's Eragon
Your story moves along beautifully
I'm a big fan of fantasy novels
and your story is very, very good
Well done
Comment Written 26-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
-
Thank you for the six star rating and the fun commentary! I read Eragon, but I'd forgotten about the character Braun. It must be time to read that series again.
I appreciate your encouragement. You make me want to keep writing.