Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Another fabulous poem, and a rhyme scheme I've not read before, but it is very effective, and wouldn't that be a great legacy to
Alleviate our need to make war
well done Kim on another great write,
cheers,
valda.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016

Hi Valda!

This is the first Sestina I've ever attempted. Thank you for all the delightful comments. :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.

Kim

Comment from honeytree

Excellent

As human beings we have not learned yet
that love is the most important gift we have
Hate is still at play everywhere we go
We have to learn a better way to live.

Honey tree

I have no six

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016

Hi Annie,

I couldn't agree more. It is the basic nature of man to seek conflict. Until we get past that history will always repeat itself.
Thanks for the great comments. A virtual six is always a fantastic compliment.

Kim

reply by honeytree on 22-Apr-2016

That's fine

Annie

Comment from lightink

Excellent

Wow! I didn't know this form but you did very well with it! I'm impressed that you even did enjambments with something so complex! Very well done, Dear!
Thunderous wording, emphasizing the need for more wisdom from mankind!
Very powerful and the message is clear.
Some of my favorite lines:

"Not products of ones and zeroes, "
"a facelift for the beauty of mankind,"
thank you for your big caring heart!

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 19-Apr-2016

Hi Jyoti!

Thank you for the enthusiastic review of my Sestina. I'd never tried one, so I thought it would be a good challenge :) I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, I know it is a long one! I love all the positive comments!

Kim

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Kim,
This seems like such a daunting form to write. It is full of great information. But having to fit that info into the format looks really difficult [I think I will stay with my 3 line nothing to say poem]. Your notes are awesome. I like the message in your poem. I read it twice to understand it better. This is one that needs much more study. Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Jan!

This one was a challenge. I hadn't seen one on FanStory before, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I was on the 3rd stanza when I decided to make a grid of the end of line words, it became much easier after that. The hardest part for me was not rhyming (I really find that the structure of a rhyming piece flows easiest for me.) I did read one where the poet had chosen to use three pairs of rhyming words, and I may try that at some point.

I was really enchanted by Ezra Pound's use of imagery. He really was masterful. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Have a great day!

Kim

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

I just realized your pin name and its relation to the movie Harry Potter. Greatness and clever idea as are the lines I just read as your magic pen is working.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Angie!

Now I've seen all the Harry Potter movies (my nieces were great fans) but for the life of me, I don't remember any doves lol
Thanks for the grand review :)

Have a great day!

Kim

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Exceptional

Wow, this looks to be such a challenging poem to write. It is the first time that I have heard of a Sestina, Kim. Thanks so much for the in-depth author notes about this format of poem. Always good to learn something new.

You did a fine job in writing this. Your write contains a powerful message that is aptly conveyed through repetition, and I especially love how you made great use of the word "breed", both as a noun and a verb. Yes, one would think that mankind would have learned by now, from all of the readings about war, that war is futile.

Fantastic job on this write, Kim!

Connie

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Connie,

I am enjoying my exploration of different styles and poets, many that I hadn't taken the time to study before. I had never even thought about writing a Sestina, but it looked interesting enough and I had to try. I decided (about stanza 3 lol) to make a grid of all the end of line words, things became much easier after that, so if you decide to try one, I'd do that after you get your six end of line words in stanza 1.

I had also never read Ezra Pound before and I found his use of imagery to be so compelling. In further reading, that makes perfect sense, because he took a lot of his influences from the Tanka form and translating. The little tidbits of fact I've learned about the different poets is so fascinating.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I loved your thoughts, especially your comments on the usage of the word, "breed." I appreciate this exceptional review.

Kim

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Kim, your sestina is outstanding. I enjoyed reading it very much. This elegant, but tricky form seems mind boggling. These are the lines I like best:
"Not products of ones and zeroes, but books,
restoring tactile link to a lost breed -
to read - and educate all of mankind,
perhaps, to find their key to inner peace."
Marilyn

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Marilyn,

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I decided (along about stanza 3 lol) that the trick is to make a grid and write down the last word in each line, so they are in the right places. It really made it easier. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Kim

reply by BeasPeas on 18-Apr-2016

What a great idea, Kim. With some of the intricate forms, I would think that would make it easier to stay on track. Yours is a very well written poem.

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

Sestinas are undoubtedly one of the most difficult forms to write and you made extra work for yourself by choosing six nouns. Even Ezra didn't do that, and you will find, should you contemplate another that a couple of verbs, an adjective, a preposition and only two nouns will open up the opportunies for enjambment and an easier flkow.

None of that however should take away from what you have achieved here. In a sestina everything comes in sixes - even the stars. Lol.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Pantygynt!

I had not even considered that I was making it more difficult by choosing six nouns. Thank you for pointing that out. What you say makes perfect sense. I'll consider those six shiny stars and your advice a treasured gift, especially when I decide to write another one :)

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

Kim

reply by Pantygynt on 18-Apr-2016

Anything with repeated words works the same way.

Comment from way2gokevs

Excellent

Excellent work and effort, you have described your poem well, must admit I got lost at times but your explanation helped me understand. For war is mans destiny to fill his hands with the blood money and care not for those who are lost and crippled. Will we ever learn the lesson that war does not make peace. Cheers Kev

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Kevs...
One would think we have enough evidence now to convince us that war really isn't the answer. The problem seems to be everyone wanting something for themselves instead of recognizing the greater good. I don't know how we move our cultures past that, but it is altogether self destructive, for us and the planet. I wish I had answers...

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Kim

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A well-written Sestina. It is one of the more complicated poems I did see one before. It will be still a while before I will have the guts to attempt one of these.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

---

reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

Hi Sandra!

I recommend making a small chart once you've written your first stanza, just with the order of the ending words for the subsequent stanzas. It was the third stanza before I decided this was the best way to go lol It made the rest of poem fall into place much easier. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate your comments.

Kim