Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

lolol... LOVE this artwork. A monkey on her back. Awesome! well done, Tom...

To increase the full strength of her breath,
she upgraded to pure crystal meth.
Soon her prospects were ruined,
as she suddenly swooned,
with an overdose causing her death.

awesome one... especially the first two lines just cracked me up! There was a thing on FB a little meme that said, "The pollen count is so bad this year that the people in trailer parks have started turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed!" LOL ;)
too funny. ;)

This is great, loved it. ;)
Cat

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016

That is really funny, although also a sad commentary.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thanks for being inspired by the other limerick suites and sharing the result. The picture, though not yours, is eye-catching. The fictional story you recounted is unfortunately duplicated each day across the country. Your rhymes and rhythm intensified the addiction theme. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2016

Thank you Joan. Unfortunately true.

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Exceptional

Hi, Treischel,
"Addiction" is an excellently crafted limerick with exhilarating rhythm and good rhyme. The monkey is a bit tired. The extra star is for the message and the warning. Keep on keeping on.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Apr-2016

Thank you Preston. It great to see you back. I appreciate your thoughtful comments and those stars are a bonus.

Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

I've never been able to get into the 'swing' of a limerick when writing my own, but I love to read those that a written by folks like you, who seem to have no trouble at all.
There's a good message in your poem, too. It would be funny, if it weren't so tragic - and that is where ironic humour comes in.

Too bad that young kids living fast and furious don't discover that the pit-falls and prat-falls of life can be permanent downers.

I did stumble on S2L5:
to become just an addictive fool.

Suggestion for flow:
and became an addicted young fool.
Rose

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Rose. I like that, and will take your suggestion.

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw this one. Funny and deadly serious at the same time I sove the awfulness of the superforced rhyme of ruined and swooned. You can get away with anything in a limerick well almost anything.

The others were part of last Saturday's potlatch. The idea is the style of poetry is announced in advance on the poetry forum, then at 6pm New York Time the theme is announced and it is all supposed to be posted within the hour. It is good fun to do. Why don't you join us. Mike Cahill seems to be the guy in charge.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. Thanks for the offer, but that's just not my thing.

Comment from rhymelord

Excellent

Dear Tom,
Limericks are becoming popular again now and rightly so. Properly done, as yours are, they are a short, punchy rhythmic way of storytelling. Well done.
Reg

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Reg. I didn't follow the typical path of humor or ribald Limerick, but they are very effective without that.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I think this is the perfect way to highlight the drug problem to children. Get in there straight away before the temptation to just 'try' it once happens. The limerick style, is lighthearted but with a powerful message behind it, and that is what is needed. Perhaps more of these limerick poems should be written with a message like this one, especially targeting the young. Well done, Tom, this was so well written, and a pleasure to read. It would have been given a 6 had I got one left. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Sandra. I appreciate your comments. Yes, I am out of sixes too already, so I fully understand.

Comment from lightink

Excellent

You should join the poetry potluck next Saturday! I'd love to have you there. 6pm EST, poetry forum... What do you say!
I'm glad you jumped in with this...

This is both funny with a somewhat lighter tone and immensely sad! You portrayed so well the different phases of addiction! Young and promising lives go to waste!
Just one thing: you wrote "addictive fool"... was it intentional or should it be "addicted"?

Thank you for this unique drug-awareness Limerick!

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Jyoti. That was intentional. Thanks for the offer, but I prefer to remain on my own. Firstly, because I intend to focus most of my poetry at my own photography. Second, I follow my own muse. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant, as I don't intend it that way. But I may join in on some of your projects from time to time.

reply by lightink on 13-Apr-2016

I totally understand! This is not an obligation based group - so you can join whenever you feel like! This freedom is what I like about it... :)
But I very much appreciate how you follow your own inspiration! You know best what sparks your creativity!

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Well done form, although interesting to see a typically light-hearted form used for such a grim subject. It works though, as it illustrates the quick work she made of her own life. The temptation, the slip and the fall, in rapid succession. Great job here, Tom,
Carol

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Thank you Carol. I did follow an unbeaten path here. I'm glad you liked it.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A great example of a perfect Limerick suite. It can also serve as a warning to anyone who consider to use drugs in any form. Drugs do more damage than any good.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016

Stank you Sandra. So true.