Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Voices"Fiction and non-fiction prose
12 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
Hey, Craig,
I read through this flash fiction. I never actually saw psycho, and yet I knew this was the prequel to that story. Nice job with capturing the essence. I got the mix of creepy and the three main characters. The homemade Apple Charlotte went a little over my head, I figure it's a desert and play on words.
His eyes refocused and he saw a beautiful woman standing in nothing but her underwear[,] and his mother's pearl inlaid gold necklace. (suggest deleting this comma)
I feel pretty useless in my review, here, I didn't see anything sticking out to change save for that comma that I have a feeling was separating a pair... like peanut butter and jelly....
So I mostly just enjoyed the reading of it. I was amused by the screaming Charlotte with the added, you scared me, a classic staple of the horror genre, and that horror in particular, a great screamer.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2016
Hey, Craig,
I read through this flash fiction. I never actually saw psycho, and yet I knew this was the prequel to that story. Nice job with capturing the essence. I got the mix of creepy and the three main characters. The homemade Apple Charlotte went a little over my head, I figure it's a desert and play on words.
His eyes refocused and he saw a beautiful woman standing in nothing but her underwear[,] and his mother's pearl inlaid gold necklace. (suggest deleting this comma)
I feel pretty useless in my review, here, I didn't see anything sticking out to change save for that comma that I have a feeling was separating a pair... like peanut butter and jelly....
So I mostly just enjoyed the reading of it. I was amused by the screaming Charlotte with the added, you scared me, a classic staple of the horror genre, and that horror in particular, a great screamer.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Turtle. I take it as a compliment that you were able to guess which movie without having seen it. Apple Charlotte is indeed a dessert, I wanted to imply something gruesome without actually saying it.
I think you must have opened this a long time ago, as the comma has been gone for days - I must have imagined you picking me up on it :)
Try and watch Psycho some time if you can, you'll probably be amused at what used to make people scream. We are a bit desensitized these days, I think :)
Much appreciated, Craig
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That's how behind I am, I'll start a review, and it will take me two days to press save. Partially because I can only review things a few minutes at a time, especially these last few weeks. All I know is this girl needs a vacation from work and home... her brain is mush.
Comment from robyn corum
CD,
A great entry for this contest! Wonderful job depicting this miserable old Norman of Psycho fame. I could see it allll -- you horrible man! yuck. Thanks for playing along and lots of good luck!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
CD,
A great entry for this contest! Wonderful job depicting this miserable old Norman of Psycho fame. I could see it allll -- you horrible man! yuck. Thanks for playing along and lots of good luck!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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haha... thanks Robyn. He was really a nice fellow, once you got to know him ;-) Craig
Comment from F. Wehr3
I enjoyed this piece. Nice work! Of course I know the movie. My real question would be who doesn't know the movie. This found competition should be a tough selection. Best of luck.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016
I enjoyed this piece. Nice work! Of course I know the movie. My real question would be who doesn't know the movie. This found competition should be a tough selection. Best of luck.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 11-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2016
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Thanks for the kind review, Russell. I've actually had one reviewer who said they didn't know it. They're not a gen-Yer or younger, either. I imagine possibly some younger members might not have come across it. I appreciate the good wishes :) Craig
Comment from write hand blue
I thought it was Psycho, an all time classic, especially with the picture of a shower. You have instilled unease with the writing of this dark story. I don't recon I'll be eating apple Charlotte any time soon. This is a good entry for the contest... ~Mel~
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
I thought it was Psycho, an all time classic, especially with the picture of a shower. You have instilled unease with the writing of this dark story. I don't recon I'll be eating apple Charlotte any time soon. This is a good entry for the contest... ~Mel~
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Sorry, Mel, if I've ruined dessert for you. Thanks for the great review, much appreciated. Craig
Comment from ioana.u
It was obvious from the first word and from the picture that it was about "Psycho". Very interesting approach, with touches of humor and also just enough disgusting and creepy images. "Home-made apple Charlotte" was the icing on the cake :)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
It was obvious from the first word and from the picture that it was about "Psycho". Very interesting approach, with touches of humor and also just enough disgusting and creepy images. "Home-made apple Charlotte" was the icing on the cake :)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Thanks so much for the kind review. I thought maybe the shower gave too much away. Oh well...
Comment from Gloria ....
Caught Psycho right off the bat with the photograph and Norman. Gee that was a freaky movie and it still is, even more interesting learning how it all came about. Hitchcock was an interesting fellow.
You've done a wonderful job with the prompt, Craig. Are you going to wear your policeman uniform to the Potlatch today? ;-)
Love this,
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
Caught Psycho right off the bat with the photograph and Norman. Gee that was a freaky movie and it still is, even more interesting learning how it all came about. Hitchcock was an interesting fellow.
You've done a wonderful job with the prompt, Craig. Are you going to wear your policeman uniform to the Potlatch today? ;-)
Love this,
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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I might bring the cuffs, never know ;-) Thanks, Gloria.
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Make sure they're the pink fur-lined cuffs. ;-)
Comment from William Ross
Great job nice and gory at the end there. Great entry on the prompt. well written and a good read. Good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
Great job nice and gory at the end there. Great entry on the prompt. well written and a good read. Good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Thank, William. Kind words and good wishes both much appreciated. Craig
Comment from jusylee72
Great quick transitions from one scene to the other. I think this is indeed quite scary and a fun read. I wish you well in the Flash Fiction contest. Enjoyed the read and thank you for that.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
Great quick transitions from one scene to the other. I think this is indeed quite scary and a fun read. I wish you well in the Flash Fiction contest. Enjoyed the read and thank you for that.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Thanks, jusylee. Much appreciated, Craig
Comment from tfawcus
I don't know the movie, but no matter. Your writing is so graphic that no pictures are needed! Had a bit of a chuckle at your naming of the shonky real estate agents, 'Cheetum & Howe'!
One of the strengths of you writing is the natural use of dialogue with minimal stage directions. It keeps the pace up nicely.
OK, so I won't be having Apple Charlotte for dinner tonight! Not after that!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
I don't know the movie, but no matter. Your writing is so graphic that no pictures are needed! Had a bit of a chuckle at your naming of the shonky real estate agents, 'Cheetum & Howe'!
One of the strengths of you writing is the natural use of dialogue with minimal stage directions. It keeps the pace up nicely.
OK, so I won't be having Apple Charlotte for dinner tonight! Not after that!
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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The movie is Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Thanks for the lovely review, sorry if I ruined dessert :) Craig
Comment from Dean Kuch
C'mon, Craig, that's too easy. It's from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. The film that made all women start showering with their clothes on for about a year after it was released in 1960. That also happens to be the year that I was born, so I'd imagine I was all wet, even way back then.
"Now that her heart had almost descended back into her chest cavity, Charlotte managed a smile.".............Funny, Craig. That's one unique way of saying Charlotte was scared shitless, heh-heh...
This s a ghoulishly good piece of flash horror fiction.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck...
~Dean
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
C'mon, Craig, that's too easy. It's from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. The film that made all women start showering with their clothes on for about a year after it was released in 1960. That also happens to be the year that I was born, so I'd imagine I was all wet, even way back then.
"Now that her heart had almost descended back into her chest cavity, Charlotte managed a smile.".............Funny, Craig. That's one unique way of saying Charlotte was scared shitless, heh-heh...
This s a ghoulishly good piece of flash horror fiction.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck...
~Dean
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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I wanted to find a picture that wouldn't help make it too easy. Alas, I'm not sure I pulled it off.
I read somewhere that the blood in the Psycho shower scene was actually chocolate sauce - thank God for black and white.
Thanks for the fun review, Dean.
Craig
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Yep, Hershey's Chocolate Syrup to be exact, Craig.
Of course, I'm a big horror aficionado. If I had gotten this wrong, the horror gods would have risen up from the abyss and eaten my soul.
Good luck...