Life's Observations and Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "She walks alone"This is my prologue for the NaPoWriMo 2016 (30 Poe
19 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
oh Marijke this is so lovely but so sad and I love your beautiful descriptions and your story. to just take the pills and slip away to be her husband. a great poem and presented extremely well Cheers Christine i like your writing style
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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oh Marijke this is so lovely but so sad and I love your beautiful descriptions and your story. to just take the pills and slip away to be her husband. a great poem and presented extremely well Cheers Christine i like your writing style
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2016
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Hi again Chrissy. Wow, what a generous six stars for this poem, and your lovely comments. I appreciate your positive comments. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Leineco
This was a very powerful poem Fiona - and for me
it opened a very sad place in my heart. I watch my
father crumple under the weight of losing his wife
of 53 years. . .the strongest man I ever knew simply
lost his will to live. . .alone, without her. His six
children were devastated at losing him. But it was
clear to me it was his wish to join her. She made him
whole and he felt incomplete without her by his side.
Thank you for expressing this concept so beautifully.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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This was a very powerful poem Fiona - and for me
it opened a very sad place in my heart. I watch my
father crumple under the weight of losing his wife
of 53 years. . .the strongest man I ever knew simply
lost his will to live. . .alone, without her. His six
children were devastated at losing him. But it was
clear to me it was his wish to join her. She made him
whole and he felt incomplete without her by his side.
Thank you for expressing this concept so beautifully.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Hi Leineco, thanks for the comments and observations about such sad situations. My mum turns 96 this week and she hasn't wanted to be here since my Dad passed 4 years ago. Thanks again, and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from dragonpoet
It's sad when a person is ignored and feels that to will herself to dies is the only why out of her sadness and loneliness.
It does seem that people pay more attention to their technological devices than to each other now a days.
The abcb rhyme scheme and meter move the poem along well.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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It's sad when a person is ignored and feels that to will herself to dies is the only why out of her sadness and loneliness.
It does seem that people pay more attention to their technological devices than to each other now a days.
The abcb rhyme scheme and meter move the poem along well.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Hi dragonpoet. Thanks for this great review.. I appreciate that lovely string of shiny stars. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You're welcome.
dp
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You're welcome.
dp
Comment from Dutchie
So sad this poem Marijke, but it is reality nowadays. Older people easily lose their grip on life when their husband or wife dies. They have no social life anymore.
People are to busy with themselves. Very well written. I hop this is an eye opener for all of us. Fietje xxxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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So sad this poem Marijke, but it is reality nowadays. Older people easily lose their grip on life when their husband or wife dies. They have no social life anymore.
People are to busy with themselves. Very well written. I hop this is an eye opener for all of us. Fietje xxxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Hi Fietje. Thank you so much, my friend, for this very generous string of stars. Yes, it is sad to be left alone at an old age. Not just the being alone, more about being lonely. I appreciate your lovely review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o) xxxxx
Comment from ~Dovey
This is a tremendous poem! It speaks so much and your presentation is so perfect with the single daisy. I love the descriptiveness of this passage:
She's slightly stooped, walks with a limp
She wears a long grey coat
Her shoes are worn her hands are cold
Blue scarf around her throat
Such attention to detail is fantastic, especially when she feels so overlooked. Your rhyme and meter are excellent.
Keep up the fantastic work!
Kim
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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This is a tremendous poem! It speaks so much and your presentation is so perfect with the single daisy. I love the descriptiveness of this passage:
She's slightly stooped, walks with a limp
She wears a long grey coat
Her shoes are worn her hands are cold
Blue scarf around her throat
Such attention to detail is fantastic, especially when she feels so overlooked. Your rhyme and meter are excellent.
Keep up the fantastic work!
Kim
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Hi Kim, thank you for enjoying the descriptiveness of my poem. I wanted to make sure the 'character' came through, which personalised this poem more. I appreciate your review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Chris Walker
This beautiful poem has such a smooth flow, very lovely. Your words create a strong image of a person alone in a crowd of strangers. This image of being alone continues in the overall tone of this poem. Poignant and expressive. Thanks for sharing. Chris
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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This beautiful poem has such a smooth flow, very lovely. Your words create a strong image of a person alone in a crowd of strangers. This image of being alone continues in the overall tone of this poem. Poignant and expressive. Thanks for sharing. Chris
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, Chris, for your compassionate comments and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Connie C
I think you've captured perfectly the way so many widowed seniors feel. In fact, your poem reminds me of my mother-in-law who will be turning 100 in a few weeks.
You have some good imagery here.
Connie
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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I think you've captured perfectly the way so many widowed seniors feel. In fact, your poem reminds me of my mother-in-law who will be turning 100 in a few weeks.
You have some good imagery here.
Connie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, Connie, for your compassionate comments and generous review. My (step) mum turns 96 this week. Dad passed away 4 years ago... she doesn't want to be here, and she has a whole hoard of family around... but without Dad? No. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
I can truly understand this, not only a thought provoking piece of poetry, but the poignancy you have written this with.
I live alone as my children lives anywhere from 500 to 2200 miles away. My son lives in Las Vegas, city I retired from and he urged me to move back to my hometown. We used to talk every week or two, now, it is once in three months. I tell my best friend that it feels like out of sight out of mind. Maybe after I am gone they may realize that I needed to hear from them
This is very well written and thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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I can truly understand this, not only a thought provoking piece of poetry, but the poignancy you have written this with.
I live alone as my children lives anywhere from 500 to 2200 miles away. My son lives in Las Vegas, city I retired from and he urged me to move back to my hometown. We used to talk every week or two, now, it is once in three months. I tell my best friend that it feels like out of sight out of mind. Maybe after I am gone they may realize that I needed to hear from them
This is very well written and thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Hi Jim. Thank you for your kind review, and I am sorry that your family are so far away. Yes, it is difficult. I understand they have busy lives, but as I say to my children/grandchildren, you can text your friends all day... you can pick up the phone and spend 5 minutes talking to us every couple of weeks. Some do, some don't. Maybe it is a case of you letting them know you are lonely and miss them, and would like to talk to them regularly. Thanks again for your review and your observations, and the lovely string of stars. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from jusylee72
Beautiful message and probably very true of life time friendships and loves. It is so hard to lose the ones we love. Every part of us wants them back. I think your poem is lovely and I think it is true.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Beautiful message and probably very true of life time friendships and loves. It is so hard to lose the ones we love. Every part of us wants them back. I think your poem is lovely and I think it is true.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
Thank you so much, jusylee, for those kind comments and your lovely string of shining stars. They are greatly appreciated. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from arline21
Such a touching tribute to loneliness and loss of love...I am thinking...maybe...just maybe... if one of those people had put down the phone or taken off the earplugs and smiled at her, it might have helped...but that is a very wishful "maybe"....
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Such a touching tribute to loneliness and loss of love...I am thinking...maybe...just maybe... if one of those people had put down the phone or taken off the earplugs and smiled at her, it might have helped...but that is a very wishful "maybe"....
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
Thank you so much, arline21, for those kind comments and your lovely string of shining stars. Mmmm... yes, I agree, just a wishful 'maybe'. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)