Life's Observations and Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Dreads and Tatts"This is my prologue for the NaPoWriMo 2016 (30 Poe
13 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
You took on a very credible persona and conveyed the lesson well in this story poem. I enjoyed your rhymed quatrains and the picture to match your description of "a small child". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
You took on a very credible persona and conveyed the lesson well in this story poem. I enjoyed your rhymed quatrains and the picture to match your description of "a small child". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Hi Joan. Thank you friend, for those comments and observations, and your generous review of Dreads and Tatts.. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from ~Dovey
I absolutely love this poem on so many levels! First, the message is strong and important. How many of us actually get to find proof in our lives of that age old adage. I've actually heard a preacher do a sermon that I found offensive because I couldn't get past the fact the fact that he was judging the young man in his story based on how he looked, not who he was.
Your rhyme is perfect and this is such an enjoyable read! My favorite lines, they are so true:
Some passenger laughed others turned their heads
Yet others stared into space
Teenagers texted on their phones
No expressions on their face
Excellent work! Thanks for sharing!
Kim
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
I absolutely love this poem on so many levels! First, the message is strong and important. How many of us actually get to find proof in our lives of that age old adage. I've actually heard a preacher do a sermon that I found offensive because I couldn't get past the fact the fact that he was judging the young man in his story based on how he looked, not who he was.
Your rhyme is perfect and this is such an enjoyable read! My favorite lines, they are so true:
Some passenger laughed others turned their heads
Yet others stared into space
Teenagers texted on their phones
No expressions on their face
Excellent work! Thanks for sharing!
Kim
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Hi Kim. I'm so pleased you loved the poem. Yes, it is so easy to prejudge on appearance. And yes, the watch people on buses, trains and anywhere, is a favourite hobby of mine. Always interesting and intriguing. Thanks again for your positive and generous feedback. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Leineco
I think what I like most about this poem is that the
event itself was worthy of being lauded. . .what I
mean is, all too often we take good behavior and
good news for granted. We seem conditioned to
take note of things we can complain about - this
was a great example of "and the moral is..." poetry.
(not to mention, validation of the well known adage :-)
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
I think what I like most about this poem is that the
event itself was worthy of being lauded. . .what I
mean is, all too often we take good behavior and
good news for granted. We seem conditioned to
take note of things we can complain about - this
was a great example of "and the moral is..." poetry.
(not to mention, validation of the well known adage :-)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Thank you, JLeineco, for those obserrvations (I totally agree) and your generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Douglas Paul
This a touching story. I guess you can't judge a book by it's cover. Your poem flows well making this a pleasant read. I am a big fan of simple kindness
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
This a touching story. I guess you can't judge a book by it's cover. Your poem flows well making this a pleasant read. I am a big fan of simple kindness
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Douglas. I like that term 'simple kindness', DP. Thank you so much for your kind comments and observations and your generous review and ratings. Warmest regards,. Marijke :o)
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Great way of sharing that observation. Most young people do not notice anything but themselves so that was very kind of the young man. I like where you went with this one. Nice work.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
Great way of sharing that observation. Most young people do not notice anything but themselves so that was very kind of the young man. I like where you went with this one. Nice work.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Dawn. Thank you so much for your kind comments and observations and your generous review and ratings. Warmest regards,. Marijke :o)
Comment from AnnaLinda
Marijke,
I appreciate the fact that you shared this lesson in a poem
with us. I think you did a fantastic job of conveying the
message with the rhymes on alternating lines. Is that a
b/d rhyme scheme?
Speaking in the voice of this woman works well and it
felt like I was right there on the train...seeing the various
people who were indifferent, busy and uncaring except
this one person.
I particularly liked the stanza where the woman reflects
after she was home...
This is very well written,
Linda
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
Marijke,
I appreciate the fact that you shared this lesson in a poem
with us. I think you did a fantastic job of conveying the
message with the rhymes on alternating lines. Is that a
b/d rhyme scheme?
Speaking in the voice of this woman works well and it
felt like I was right there on the train...seeing the various
people who were indifferent, busy and uncaring except
this one person.
I particularly liked the stanza where the woman reflects
after she was home...
This is very well written,
Linda
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Linda. Thank you so much for your kind comments and observations (abcb rhyme?) and your generous review and ratings. Warmest regards, my friend. Marijke :o)
Comment from Eric1
Hi fiona, this is a sad indictment of the non caring society we live in today, I wouldn't have hesitated to give up my seat for a lady - elderly or not, you wonderful well structured poem tells the story in brilliant rhyming verse, the rhythm and flow are excellent my friend.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
Hi fiona, this is a sad indictment of the non caring society we live in today, I wouldn't have hesitated to give up my seat for a lady - elderly or not, you wonderful well structured poem tells the story in brilliant rhyming verse, the rhythm and flow are excellent my friend.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Eric, thank you for reading and for your kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from robina1978
Nice to see you posted again. The image is great and complements your poem very well. An excellent and well written story you told in this poem. A youngster offered his chair to an old lady. You would not expect this from his looks. Nice rhyme and flow all the way.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
Nice to see you posted again. The image is great and complements your poem very well. An excellent and well written story you told in this poem. A youngster offered his chair to an old lady. You would not expect this from his looks. Nice rhyme and flow all the way.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Ine, thank you for reading and for your kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from lindafisher
I really enjoyed your poem Fionageorge. The rhyme was rhythm were easy to read with no effort at all. Your story is one that I see often as I travel to work on a school bus.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
I really enjoyed your poem Fionageorge. The rhyme was rhythm were easy to read with no effort at all. Your story is one that I see often as I travel to work on a school bus.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi Linda, thank you for reading and for your kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from William Ross
a good poem and write a message for all as to not judge a person by the way they look. Great rhyming and great read flows right along. thanks for the share.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
a good poem and write a message for all as to not judge a person by the way they look. Great rhyming and great read flows right along. thanks for the share.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Hi William, thank you for reading and for your kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)