Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

The poem entertains with its universal wish of singular ability to change the world for the better. The art is extraordinary and expresses both awesome potential and devastation. The set serves the expression very well... I Wish I Could. The first line of the third stanza should be "too late". Happy day.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016

Hi Bill, Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my rondaeu poem. Have corrected the too also appreciate you picking this up. If it could only be this simple what a world we could have. Many Cheers to you and have a lovely day Christine 😃

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Chrissy. I found this one while looking for your most recent Picture This post, which I didn't find. However this Rondeau as part of Joy's challenge is well done. I guess we all have the same wish for a fresh start, a clean slate, as we are in a dangerous state of affairs. :) Marilyn

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016

Hi Marilyn, Thanks forclooking for my PTC fpr the latest challenge, I unfortunately didn't get around to doing it ( I suppose I stil have time but probably missed the boat and it was a nice image too.) But Thank you so much for reading my rondaeu which I thought I would have a go at and yes we are starting to get into a dangerous state of affairs. a clean slate do the world a favour. Still I guess we must try and look at the good also. Many Cheers to you. It is noce to hear from you . Christine 😃

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A well written Rondeau poem. If we could change the world into a better place, I think we will all give it a shot, to love more and hate less is a great improvement already.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi Samdar, Yes if only it could be this simple. Thanks very much for having a read and for giving me a review. always nice to hear 😀from you Have a nice day Cheers Christine

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Sorry Sandra, sometimes I type too quickly and the wrong letters come out , unless you like your new name ha ha

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi Chrissy,
If this is your first rondeau poem you have written then you are a natural.
This was a great poem with everything as it should be.
Keep writing.
Brenda

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Hi Brenda, Thanks you very much for saying this. I enjoy the challenges this site offers and am learning much. your comments inspire me Many Cheers for your time and lovely review Cheers Christine 😀

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Hi Brenda, Thanks you very much for saying this. I enjoy the challenges this site offers and am learning much. your comments inspire me Many Cheers for your time and lovely review Cheers Christine 😀

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Lovely artwork and nice presentation.
-I like your poem with good rhyme, meter, message, and repeating line.
-Good first stanza with your idea of creating a life without hate.
-The theme continues nicely in stanza two.
-Good conclusion:
"My simple dream would be profound
a better life for all around."
- Just a comment on using reverse syntax. It is simply a matter of preference as to what you like and what you think works; it is always the writer's decision. Robert Frost used it often. "Whose woods these are, I think I know." ("Stopping by Woods").

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Hi respa1. Thanks for your review and encouraging comments . I will look up reverse syntax to see what that means ( excuse my ignorance it's been a while and when I write it's a bit like playing the piano by ear. I just write as I 'hear' the words rather than by gramatically correctness. And ai will read this poem by Frost. Many Cheers Christine😀

reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Hi respa1. Thanks for your review and encouraging comments . I will look up reverse syntax to see what that means ( excuse my ignorance it's been a while and when I write it's a bit like playing the piano by ear. I just write as I 'hear' the words rather than by gramatically correctness. And ai will read this poem by Frost. Many Cheers Christine😀

reply by Pam (respa) on 31-Mar-2016

You are welcome for the review and encouragement. Reverse syntax is what you did in your first line; some people call it reverse order, and some don't think anyone should do it.

Example: "I wish I could, a life create." Myself and others would consider this very poetic; it is what Frost did in many of his poems. If you didn't do it, your line would be: I wish I could create a life.
My opinion is you did it just right:)

reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016

Hi Respa1' Yes I though that is what you mean't and initially I had it the otherway around, but then struggled with rhymes for 'life' so reversed the wording to give me more options. I realy like true rhyme instead of near rhyme but thanks for that info and I will read Frost too ( thankfully poetry can give one more leeway Ha Ha and I agree sometimes the wording rearranged sounds great anyway Cheers again Christine 😀

reply by Pam (respa) on 01-Apr-2016

A good site for rhyme is rhymezone.com There are a lot of options there. I like true rhyme, as well. Glad you will look up Frost, and I agree with your last comments:)

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine Rondeau
correct to the form as near as I can tell
with excellent rhymes and a solid repeat phrase
it reads well with the iambic tetrameter
And a fine wish it is, too
I wonder if it could work?
I don't recall a single society in the history of mankind
that evolved in this way
It would take wish fulfillment to make it happen
I'm willing to give it a try
Well done
with gorgeous art work to match

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Hi rspoet. I thanks your for reading and reviewing my Rondeau and you comments are appreciated. Yes I wonder if this would work I wish I had a magic wand. And yes I loved this artwork also just seemed to match Many Cheers Christine😃

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

You've done a great job crafting this
Rondeau. The repeat line blends well
in each stanza.
I think we all wish we could create
this perfect world. I like your
vision of how things could be.
Beautiful presentation.
Nancy

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016

Thanks Nancy.I enjoyed this style and will use it again one day. I love learning all the new styles and have enjoyment while putting my thinking cap on. And you lovely review is mich appreciated. Cheers Christine😃

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

It surely would be nice if there were only peace, joy and kindness in this world. I guess we have to wait til we get to Heaven for all of that to happen.

Lovely poem:)

Teresa

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi Teresa, Thanks for having a read and commenting on my poem . Yes not sure what the world is doing spinning out of control sometimes. Have a great day Cheers Christine

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A poetic verse with a message for all mankind, we have to much hate and destruction in the world today. Nicely composed poetic verse.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi Don Thanks for your review and comments for my poem I sometimes wonder whre out world will end up seems very empotional and uncertain at the moment. I am glad we get a chance to express oir view through verse. Many Cheers to you Christine😃

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Very well done, Christine! I loved it! Great job!
Loved the repeating part: I wish I could
and the theme is awesome....
great meter, rhythm veritably leaps along!
well done!
Cat

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016

Hi Cat , Thanks so much for reading and giving me this lovely feedback for my first attempt at this style. That is why I love FS and the lovely people as it inspires one to have a go and learn Many Cheers to you my friend Christine 😀