Jerry Jing-Jang and Rusty
The dangdest fool notion32 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Writing in the vernacular of the common man, honest or or criminal, can be a very liberating experience. There is little to separate these guys as far as education is concerned though their morality is miles apart.
The vernacular brings out their humanity and makes them into characters we can believe in, rather in the way the modern western movie shows the participants on both sides as real real life sweating people far removed from the black hat, white hat days of Roy Rodgers. I think the Ponderosa was the last to hang on on to that old image.
This was a slice o' life in poem and well done at that.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Writing in the vernacular of the common man, honest or or criminal, can be a very liberating experience. There is little to separate these guys as far as education is concerned though their morality is miles apart.
The vernacular brings out their humanity and makes them into characters we can believe in, rather in the way the modern western movie shows the participants on both sides as real real life sweating people far removed from the black hat, white hat days of Roy Rodgers. I think the Ponderosa was the last to hang on on to that old image.
This was a slice o' life in poem and well done at that.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks. They're fun characters to write. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from scd41
It is an interesting story narrated with rhythm, rhyme and alliteration about the encounter between Jerry Jing-Jang and the outlaw Rusty. The imagery resembled a typical scene from a Western movie of yesteryear. Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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It is an interesting story narrated with rhythm, rhyme and alliteration about the encounter between Jerry Jing-Jang and the outlaw Rusty. The imagery resembled a typical scene from a Western movie of yesteryear. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed my fun little poem.
Comment from William Ross
haha a good witty rhyme full write a fun read written in great rhyme and rhythm. a fun story a read. Thanks for the share and have a great day.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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haha a good witty rhyme full write a fun read written in great rhyme and rhythm. a fun story a read. Thanks for the share and have a great day.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Word Junkie
Hi Cindy,
This is top-notch verse. It's colorful and amusing, and with just three verses you tell a complex tale that leads to a satisfying conclusion. The verse flows well. It's a terrifically fun read.
Thanks so much for sharing, and best to you.
Write on,
Lana
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Hi Cindy,
This is top-notch verse. It's colorful and amusing, and with just three verses you tell a complex tale that leads to a satisfying conclusion. The verse flows well. It's a terrifically fun read.
Thanks so much for sharing, and best to you.
Write on,
Lana
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks! Not just for the six, but for all the trouble you went to. Tonight when I have a little more time I'll go through it line by line. I think some of your suggestions are good ones.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Share a story in a poem is a very comical amusing poem Tells elaborate story how cowboy caught an outlaw. Jungle jangle sounds are so musical. liberty justice
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Share a story in a poem is a very comical amusing poem Tells elaborate story how cowboy caught an outlaw. Jungle jangle sounds are so musical. liberty justice
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Lancer1979
This was very cute and reminded me of the old westerns on tv when I was a child. You've told a good story here, but I did find one typo that you might want to fix before the contest ends -- Fourth line, first stanza, the word "what" should be "that".
If you fix that tiny mistake, I would venture a guess, that a winning poem you will have. :D
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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This was very cute and reminded me of the old westerns on tv when I was a child. You've told a good story here, but I did find one typo that you might want to fix before the contest ends -- Fourth line, first stanza, the word "what" should be "that".
If you fix that tiny mistake, I would venture a guess, that a winning poem you will have. :D
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks for the catch and for the wonderful review.
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You're welcome! Good luck! :D
Comment from marzipan
Ha This was a refreshing read and a good comment on where 'stinkin thinkin' can lead. Normally I don't go for such rhymes but it was unpredictable and kept sharp rhythm. I enjoyed it and think it would work well as a performance piece. (With the cowboy hat of course). Well done and thanks.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Ha This was a refreshing read and a good comment on where 'stinkin thinkin' can lead. Normally I don't go for such rhymes but it was unpredictable and kept sharp rhythm. I enjoyed it and think it would work well as a performance piece. (With the cowboy hat of course). Well done and thanks.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2016
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Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from zekeziemann
Loved the dialogue. Western poetry and short stories are my favorite and a new take on the old good guy versus bad guy is always interesting. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Loved the dialogue. Western poetry and short stories are my favorite and a new take on the old good guy versus bad guy is always interesting. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Thanks. Jerry Jing-Jang is such a fun character to write I have several of his adventures in my portfolio. Glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Edgar Terrance
Pretty cool story. I enjoyed the western feel to it, and that there was drinks involved, scraps, a bar, and Rusty and Jing Jang. You chose a good way to tell this and great dialect.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Pretty cool story. I enjoyed the western feel to it, and that there was drinks involved, scraps, a bar, and Rusty and Jing Jang. You chose a good way to tell this and great dialect.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Thanks. If you enjoyed this one, there are several other Jerry Jing-Jang adventures in my portfolio. Thanks again for the wonderful review.
Comment from kiwisteveh
I'm a-thinkin' up that the Queen's English might be what JJJ is not using...
I enjoyed your fun poem of the cowboy hero out-smarting his outlaw foe, who didn't show too many smarts by getting himself liquored up before the big game. The light-hearted tone is enhanced by the creative, multiple rhymes like drinkin up/clinkin up...
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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I'm a-thinkin' up that the Queen's English might be what JJJ is not using...
I enjoyed your fun poem of the cowboy hero out-smarting his outlaw foe, who didn't show too many smarts by getting himself liquored up before the big game. The light-hearted tone is enhanced by the creative, multiple rhymes like drinkin up/clinkin up...
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 27-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
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Oops, better fix that right away. People will think I've been drinkin' up. LOL Glad you enjoyed.
