Reviews from

Christine's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Rhythm of life"
Poems /stories on Fanstory

10 total reviews 
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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I think that when you are around your true love long enough your bodies and minds become synced. A very well written poem.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi DonandVicki, thanks sp much for your comments and great rating for this lune and yes you are quite right we are quite well synct Cheers
Comment from fastdigits
Excellent
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Two hearts that beat as one told
poetically in but thirteen syllables,
proving that tales need not be
long in duration, but in scheme
and from words that come from
the heart
Well done and good luck

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi fastdigits. Your review is much appreciated and thanks for the good luck message Many Cheers
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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Beautiful artwork. Went very well with your poem. Your words flow together sending the message of the poem to the reader. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi winnona, I loked the artworl also and found it after I wrote this so it seemed very approapriate. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my lune Many Cheers
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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This is a sweet romance poem. I haven't seen anyone else go in this direction for the contest. The image and background colors work well. My only suggestion might be to 'bold' the font? I wish you good luck!

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi Robyn, Cheers a lot for you review and comments, I use my I pad a lot to do these and cant Bold or change the fonts ( I am sure you should be able to bit I don't know how LOL but I take your suggestion anyway LOL Sorry for late reply have been away for Easter Camping
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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If this is a condensed haiku then it should not be about people. However, as I don't, t agree with the definition because it is incorrect I shall ignore that. It might be described as an inverted haiku but that too would be incorrect. It is as American as apple pie and has nothing whatsoever to do with haiku. The reason it is called lune is that if it is flushed left or right on the page as it should be it will display a crescent shape due to the short second line.

This is a fine example or would be if it were flushed left or right depending on whether you wish to display a waning or waxing moon. It might be better to display a waxing one , give the love a chance to grow, so flush right would be my advice.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi Pantygynt, I do appreciate you fine reviews and I think managed to get the gist of what you are telling me. I will try to look up examples of flushing so I know wht to do next time. Yes you are right a Haiku is not about people rather than nature so technically This is not a condenced Haiku I find these style quite facinating with the strictness of the rules LOL. anyway had a try Cheers
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
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very nice and so true, a great entry here. i know mine beats in time with my love. good luck on this and have yourself a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi William I am so pleased you like this and so thanks you for your time to readcand review this entry. You too have a nice day So many Cheers to you
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
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This is a good entry in the Write a Lune competition.
You have the correct syllable count and you have attached a picture
that certainly reflects well with the words you have written -
"our hearts beat in time" - well done and best of luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi PoemsofDD, I find these quite a fun thing to do and appreciate your lovely review. and best of luck wishes. Have a lovely day and great Easter break.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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A short poem that helps to define the essential 'oneness' of a loving union. At its best it can indeed seem that there are two people with but a single heartbeat.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Hi tfawcus, Thank you very much for your review and rating fo my lune entry. Yes it is lovely to have that connection Many Cheers to you
Comment from foxangie123
Excellent
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A very lovely write of live you have here. It is going to be a tough one to judge as I have read so many great entries including this. Nice.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2016
    Hi foxangie123. Thanks so much for your lovely review, thought It was about time for another post, glad you like this. Cheers to you 😃😃
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very good Lune poem you have penned. You used very good imagery and very good wording. I love the art work you chose for this piece. Great job and good luck in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2016

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2016
    Thanks so much Teri7, for stopping by tho read and review my lune. IWas pleased with the art work too it just seemed to fit this nicely. Cheers heaps