Such Is Life
N-ever the optimist46 total reviews
Comment from pegesusunicorn
Very good, there is a lot of humor to this, but sadly there were some truths to it as well, but the humor made the sadness light. I guess that is why we must never forget to have humor in our lives so the sad parts don't ruin the good we can find
very good indeed
Peg
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Very good, there is a lot of humor to this, but sadly there were some truths to it as well, but the humor made the sadness light. I guess that is why we must never forget to have humor in our lives so the sad parts don't ruin the good we can find
very good indeed
Peg
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Thank you for this kind review. Much appreciated. Best regards Linda.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Excellent use of words and you have a smooth flow of rhyming words. I feel like this sometimes when times are hard. Excellent use of artwork. Thanks for sharing!
Bill~
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Excellent use of words and you have a smooth flow of rhyming words. I feel like this sometimes when times are hard. Excellent use of artwork. Thanks for sharing!
Bill~
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Thank you for this kind review. Much appreciated. Best regards Linda.
Comment from Judvan2
I love it. So clever. Fun to read. You are very inventive, taking common sayings and creating a story of questions...its great. I sure wish I could write like that!!!!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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I love it. So clever. Fun to read. You are very inventive, taking common sayings and creating a story of questions...its great. I sure wish I could write like that!!!!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much for your kind review and you fabulous six stars. Both are very much appreciated. Best regards Linda
Comment from Pantygynt
The statements made in this are absolutely great - typical stand up comedy lines. This sort of verse needs to be absolutely spot on with the rhythms if it is to work properly and it is here that it needs tidying. The longer lines, heptameters are fine except for the second one in the second stanza, "It's not hard to meet expenses, I find them everywhere." Though this has the correct number of syllables it fails to flow because it starts with two unstressed syllables instead of one. By cutting "It's" and inserting "can" later in the line we can get it to scan, "Not hard to meet expenses, I can find them everywhere."
You need to decide on the structure of the shorter lines and stick to it you have some of them at 10, 11 and 12 syllables. Feel that 10 is the one to go for, that's the iambic pentameter. It will work better with the heptameter than the others.
The one that's right is this, "If life is funny I don't get the joke." Now we have to get the others to conform to that pattern.
"Well he must be on a better wage than I." Just knock "well" of that one and you're there, "He must be on a better wage than I."
"Which saves them having to move me when I die." We'll need to think a bit out of the box with this one but "So they won't have to move me when I die," will do fine.
See what you can make of the remaining ones. They all have to bounce along like this "da dum da dum da dum da dum da dum" 5 das (unstressed) and 5 dums (stressed). You'll be onto a winner then. I'll be happy to reassess when you're done and probably re-grade, let me know either in a reply or by pm.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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The statements made in this are absolutely great - typical stand up comedy lines. This sort of verse needs to be absolutely spot on with the rhythms if it is to work properly and it is here that it needs tidying. The longer lines, heptameters are fine except for the second one in the second stanza, "It's not hard to meet expenses, I find them everywhere." Though this has the correct number of syllables it fails to flow because it starts with two unstressed syllables instead of one. By cutting "It's" and inserting "can" later in the line we can get it to scan, "Not hard to meet expenses, I can find them everywhere."
You need to decide on the structure of the shorter lines and stick to it you have some of them at 10, 11 and 12 syllables. Feel that 10 is the one to go for, that's the iambic pentameter. It will work better with the heptameter than the others.
The one that's right is this, "If life is funny I don't get the joke." Now we have to get the others to conform to that pattern.
"Well he must be on a better wage than I." Just knock "well" of that one and you're there, "He must be on a better wage than I."
"Which saves them having to move me when I die." We'll need to think a bit out of the box with this one but "So they won't have to move me when I die," will do fine.
See what you can make of the remaining ones. They all have to bounce along like this "da dum da dum da dum da dum da dum" 5 das (unstressed) and 5 dums (stressed). You'll be onto a winner then. I'll be happy to reassess when you're done and probably re-grade, let me know either in a reply or by pm.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
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Thank you for your review and helpful comments. Best regards Linda
Comment from William Ross
Very good been here couple times myself,remember the glass is half full not empty. Thanks for shraing the thoughts and feelings here and enjoy your day.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Very good been here couple times myself,remember the glass is half full not empty. Thanks for shraing the thoughts and feelings here and enjoy your day.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks William for taking the time to review my work. Much appreciated.
Comment from michaelcahill
This is genius. I haven't seen this much cleverness all in the same spot in a long, long time. I'm at a loss as to what to highlight. I was going to highlight the first line, but you just kept them coming. So, all of it. Awesome. mikey
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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This is genius. I haven't seen this much cleverness all in the same spot in a long, long time. I'm at a loss as to what to highlight. I was going to highlight the first line, but you just kept them coming. So, all of it. Awesome. mikey
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you for your more than kind review mikey. Cheered me up no end. Good comments are always appreciated. Best regards Linda
Comment from Nika2016
I once had a book called Chicken Soup for the Soul. This poem reminded me of that. Quite humorous and yet starkly real in truth. I think you need your own book. When people are down, this humor helps. Great writing.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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I once had a book called Chicken Soup for the Soul. This poem reminded me of that. Quite humorous and yet starkly real in truth. I think you need your own book. When people are down, this humor helps. Great writing.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you for your more than kind review. Cheered me up no end. Good comments are always appreciated. Best regards Linda
Comment from C.J. 16
An excellent humorous poem. The last stanza was my favorite, but I liked the whole poem. Very well done. Thanks and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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An excellent humorous poem. The last stanza was my favorite, but I liked the whole poem. Very well done. Thanks and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much for your kind review. very much appreciated. Best regards Linda.
Comment from Slythytove2
Another Eeyore like myself. My sentiments exactly. but to the poetry itself---
The humor is convincing and not over the top. The rhymes are not stretched and seem to fall naturally. The meter might use a little polish but that could be handled by making what you're saying less wordy. See if you can make the same statement with the same rhymes and meter but fewer words.
"Starting with nothing I've got most of that
It just needs tightening a little. Good work.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Another Eeyore like myself. My sentiments exactly. but to the poetry itself---
The humor is convincing and not over the top. The rhymes are not stretched and seem to fall naturally. The meter might use a little polish but that could be handled by making what you're saying less wordy. See if you can make the same statement with the same rhymes and meter but fewer words.
"Starting with nothing I've got most of that
It just needs tightening a little. Good work.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much for your kind review. very much appreciated. Best regards Linda.
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Your Welcome
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Linda This is such a delightful poem. The humorous lines, one right after the other are really very clever. I liked this one the best:
"I started out with nothing and I still have most of that."
LOL Great job all the way.
Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Hi, Linda This is such a delightful poem. The humorous lines, one right after the other are really very clever. I liked this one the best:
"I started out with nothing and I still have most of that."
LOL Great job all the way.
Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much Bob for your kind review. very much appreciated. Best regards Linda.
