Comment from Realist101

Excellent

Hi Mike, just one small suggestion? Try to use another word rather than approves too closely? I do this too and so I must pass the buck! :) I loved this story because years ago when I used to frequent bars a friend saved me from literally being dragged from the bar one night. I was scared silly. And very lucky my friend came in when he did. Hope you'll continue this? :) S.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2016

I need to run these through one of those services that point out overused words. I wasn't even aware I was doing that. Thanks for pointing it out. It's something I've done and would do. I hate pig men who think women are fair game. I may continue this one. He did a cool thing by passing up the obvious. mikey

Comment from Taffspride

Excellent

This was a great write Mikey, I truly enjoyed it and found the ending to be quite unexpected.

'He smiles and sits smoothly down. "What a wonderful treat this is for me. The loveliest woman in this place and this old fool is sharing a table with her. I've always said I'm impossibly lucky."

My first thought when I read that was, Ha! here we go, what a come-on.

I am glad you made him quite the gentleman, something that is rather rare these days. It was so refreshing the kind of man I believe every woman would like to meet.

There was nothing I found that needed to be edited or changed.

Thanks for sharing.

iechyd da

Ann

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016

I'm sooooo pleased you found the ending to your liking and understood the reason for it. I was a little surprised that many missed the point entirely! Yes, there are some gentleman left, but I guess we're all turning grey. HA!! Thank you so much, mikey

reply by Taffspride on 07-Mar-2016

It is good to know there really are some gentlemen left in the world.

Iechyd da

A.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Mikey

= Hmmmm, maybe love is in the air for them--you just never know.
= I almost thought he was going to end up being a slasher or something.
= Actually, the way you ended it, he could be. (*<*) Great story.

= I apologize for the lateness of my reviewing and/or answering reviews.
= I'm editing to publish again, so bear with me.

* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016

Naw. He just decided that she was worth more than a one night stand and he wanted her to know it too. Well, maybe he'll slit her throat at breakfast, you never know. HAHAHA@@ mikey

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

I must tell you that the ending was not at all what I was expecting. I thought for sure this nice girl was going to let the guy in and he'd turn out to be an axe murderer and do her in. Instead it is a lovely start to a romance. The man was okay leaving her at her doorstep and return for her the next morning. He didn't push to stay overnight, or grab her and kiss her. He was the true gentleman. Love it, Mikey! This renews my faith in men - they aren't all pigs. Excellent job.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

I am just delighted that you caught the purpose of my story. I'm a little surprised at how many missed it altogether especially women. Quite a few readers were surprised he asked her to breakfast and really didn't get why. Oh well, some did, so I can be happy for that. Thanks a million. mikey

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

This is excellent descriptive writing. You take the readers into the bar and make them see it, smell it and be aware of the personalities around. You help the reader relate to the main characters and leave them hoping this will work out.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

Wow. That is so what I was hoping to hear. YAY! I've had mixed results from the ending, but I'm happy with it. Some people can't believe he backed off and made a breakfast date when he could have gone inside right then. That was the point! Thanks a million, mikey

reply by seaglass on 06-Mar-2016

A man who respects women, doesn't push to hard to fast. Women like to chase a little too. (smile)

reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

I just wish they'd put the frying pan down. :))

reply by seaglass on 06-Mar-2016

lol

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Ah the romantic side of my favorite guy is showiing and i like the look of it.]
No problems noted and a great story line.
Interresating from start to finish and quite a nice end

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

Glad you liked the ending. That's what I was hoping for. :))
Thanks so much, mikey

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

This story brings two memories to mind. The joke about the young bull running down the hill as he tried to mount one of the cows in a herd, and the old bull who saunters down and breeds them all. Then, in the early part of your chapter reminded me about something I learned about drunks. My dad said he could remember people gawking as he flopped and floundered drunk on the sidewalk, covered in puke, people calling him a drunk and other choice names. But my how times have changed, he would say. Now, they roll out the red carpet when I come to town. I stumble stepping down the planes stairs and fall sprawled out on the carpeted walkway. I struggle to my knees as I vomit allover myself and the rug. Two guards run to help me up, wipe me off as best they can, and help me to my awaiting limousine. Success is a wonderful thing, as I was once a drunk. Now, I'm just a social drinker who's had one too many. Thanks for another fine read. :-)

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

I'm the drunk who never gets hangovers and who can pull off sober at the drop of a hat. HAHAHA. It really pisses the other drunks off when the cops show up. :))
Times have changed and some of it is good cause. I grew up around alcoholics and dated some and even married one or two. HA! Hmm. This calls for a drink. The pickens are slim in the desert though. Jeesh. mikey

reply by Ric Myworld on 07-Mar-2016

I was a drunk for thirty-five years, whose life and job were part of his drinking. I spent my days and nights entertaining clients. Drunk all day at the races, a few drinks and quick dinner, a quickie shower and clean clothes, then, out to the clubs. Leave the clubs, drunk, to get to the barn by work time at 4:00am, done by 8:00. Time for a few beers at the bar to settle my stomach. Then, catch a couple hours sleep, shower and shave before heading back to the track to entertain and get drunk. It's a great life if you don't get weak. Drunk day and night seven days a week, with seldom more than a couple hours of sleep. Of course, I couldn't have survived it without a crash day here and there. The only difference in me and the drunk who lived in a tent behind the railroad tracks, was I got to put on a suit and tie and pretend to be under control. Like you, no one ever knew I was drunk. Two two-liter bottles of whiskey or better, including a few beers or Bloody Mary's every day ease my guts. Someone once asked me if I ever thought I might be an alcoholic, and my answer was, "Nope, I'm sure I'm not, because an alcoholic needs help, I just need another FU . . ING drink. Thanks for another fine read. :-)

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Oh, How sweet! She has finally met a man who has respect for her and asks to see her again without any strings attached.
Could this be a turning point in her life? A chance for something better? Up lifting thoughts as we ponder the future. Well done Mikey. Nancy

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

Bless you, dear woman. So many people totally missed the point of this. YES!! That's what I wanted people to get from this. YAY! Thanks a million. There are some romantics left. :)) mikey

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Softly softly catchy monkey, as the old saying goes. He'll make out eventually but not tonight it seems. A cleverly written short story with an unexpected ending, you'd have thought that either he would make it with her or suffer rejection in some other way, but a date for breakfast! That is original.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

He decided she was worth more than the one night stand, or at least that was my intention. Yep, something different. That would be a tough test in the real world, yes? mikey

Comment from krprice

Excellent

Interesting story, though there is a bit too much telling and not enough showing.

You do slip in out of in people's minds easily.

Karlene

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016

I'll try and keep that in mind. It's funny, when you concentrate on one thing, something else falls by the wayside. This is a rough business. :)) mikey