Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Russ & Charles' Meeting Continues"All chapters
4 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Marvin,
Though this was extremely well-written, I couldn't determine any plot. Did I miss something? It seemed to need more 'meat'. Perhaps that is coming later -- or came before? Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
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Marvin,
Though this was extremely well-written, I couldn't determine any plot. Did I miss something? It seemed to need more 'meat'. Perhaps that is coming later -- or came before? Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
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Robyn
Thanks for reviewing this chapter.
Rereading the last lines of Chapter 30 might be sufficient for you to understand Chapter 31 of "The Magic Title." I selfishly want you to have all the facts because, after reading your profile, I know I could benefit greatly from your reviews.
Thanks for the compliment and the high rating.
More 'meat' is coming very soon.
Marv
Comment from Mary Wakeford
This characters insecurity and recurring prodding for approval is pretty fun and well set for the ensuing chapter. You have done a fine job with the scene creation and the story build. You've captured the reader for the continuation...
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
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This characters insecurity and recurring prodding for approval is pretty fun and well set for the ensuing chapter. You have done a fine job with the scene creation and the story build. You've captured the reader for the continuation...
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
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Mary
I'm glad you found my writing and took the time to review it. Thanks.
I'm relatively new to writing and it's great to hear words like, 'scene creation' and 'story build' tossed around, regarding this piece.
Thank you for the compliments and wonderful rating.
Marv
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Marv. I enjoyed reading this chapter where Charles explains his theory on gambling. I agree with him on that. The law of averages, bound to hit it sometimes and not others. He was smart to quit. Too bad other gamblers don't. Writing is clear and interesting. I like attention to details--the pastry and coffee. Good job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Hi Marv. I enjoyed reading this chapter where Charles explains his theory on gambling. I agree with him on that. The law of averages, bound to hit it sometimes and not others. He was smart to quit. Too bad other gamblers don't. Writing is clear and interesting. I like attention to details--the pastry and coffee. Good job. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Marilyn
Thanks for reviewing chapter 31. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was afraid it might be too dry. Thanks for the compliments. Thanks for the rating.
I hope to complete the telling of Charles' idea soon.
Marv
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Hi Marv. In truth, you are right. This one didn't have as many amusing lines as usual. However, it works just the same. Maybe you forgot to have your espresso that morning. Marilyn
Comment from Jay Squires
Screenwriter Russ is in the conference room of Charles, [Use more active construction: "in CHARLES' conference
Interesting chapter, Marvin. Makes me wonder if he's ever gonna sell his screenplay.
room... >> it reads more smoothly and saves you two words.]
Russ and Charles Meeting Continues [Russ and CHARLES' meeting
money. And, to win, requires a lot of luck." [You need to space between paragraphs. It happens so much I can't take the time to show each one. But you need to fix it.]
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Screenwriter Russ is in the conference room of Charles, [Use more active construction: "in CHARLES' conference
Interesting chapter, Marvin. Makes me wonder if he's ever gonna sell his screenplay.
room... >> it reads more smoothly and saves you two words.]
Russ and Charles Meeting Continues [Russ and CHARLES' meeting
money. And, to win, requires a lot of luck." [You need to space between paragraphs. It happens so much I can't take the time to show each one. But you need to fix it.]
Comment Written 06-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
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Thank you for taking the time to review this chapter. I know you're busy, so I appreciate your effort all the more.
Marv
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BTW, I am posting four important chapters from the end of Book II (the THIRD one today, and worth a buck-six) that might help you understand the ending of Book III, if you weren't a reader from the beginning. You might want to take a look at them. [This is a pasted message, not a personal one, since the post doesn?t show on my fan?s PM, and I?m racing time to get the message out. Sorry.]
