2nd Time Around
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Part I, Chapter 8"A fight for life and truth.
7 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
T.,
Super chapter. I'm starting to think you're making those regular errors when you go in to edit and then you are not taking enough time to double-check what you've added or modified. Would you mind considering that and keeping it in mind?
Notes:
1.) They got her back into her wheelchair and (s)he was taken away.
2.) "(T)hank you for this opportunity," she said instead.
3.) Also- did you know that you have the option to 'preview' any post before you release it to your readers? Waaaay down at the bottom of all the options when you make a post - under the options for all those flags - is the button for 'previewing' a post. If you'll always leave that in the 'yes' position, when you click 'save' you can go in and edit it as many times as you wish BEFORE anyone else sees it.
Thanks - I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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T.,
Super chapter. I'm starting to think you're making those regular errors when you go in to edit and then you are not taking enough time to double-check what you've added or modified. Would you mind considering that and keeping it in mind?
Notes:
1.) They got her back into her wheelchair and (s)he was taken away.
2.) "(T)hank you for this opportunity," she said instead.
3.) Also- did you know that you have the option to 'preview' any post before you release it to your readers? Waaaay down at the bottom of all the options when you make a post - under the options for all those flags - is the button for 'previewing' a post. If you'll always leave that in the 'yes' position, when you click 'save' you can go in and edit it as many times as you wish BEFORE anyone else sees it.
Thanks - I enjoyed!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I will try and be more careful about that.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I like how you are rounding up Sara: defense and the people who can help her. The first round is up she got people that care and believe in her story and innocence.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I like how you are rounding up Sara: defense and the people who can help her. The first round is up she got people that care and believe in her story and innocence.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from aryr
Once again you have done your research very well in regards to the visit. I had the opportunity to once visit an inmate so I do know each of your steps to be right on. Good job. I am glad that Grace passed the test. I feel for Sarah because of the general attitude towards her. With her disabilities I sense things are rough for her. Good writing.
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Once again you have done your research very well in regards to the visit. I had the opportunity to once visit an inmate so I do know each of your steps to be right on. Good job. I am glad that Grace passed the test. I feel for Sarah because of the general attitude towards her. With her disabilities I sense things are rough for her. Good writing.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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I'd say you ain't seen nothing yet, but you have in the very next chapter. Thank you.
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You are welcome and if I haven't said it before I admire your talent at writing.
Comment from damommy
You said Grace was wearing a pantsuit, and went on to say she was wearing pants instead of a skirt. I think "wearing a pantsuit" is enough. She wasn't wearing one like at Doug's interview if she was wearing a skirt. Do I make sense?
I like the sentence about the cameras - they didn't know why they should be suspicious, but knew they should be suspicious nonetheless. That's great!
I think this is a great chapter, but as you know, it's hard for me to decide.
How nice that you award bonuses. I just noticed that. 8-)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2016
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You said Grace was wearing a pantsuit, and went on to say she was wearing pants instead of a skirt. I think "wearing a pantsuit" is enough. She wasn't wearing one like at Doug's interview if she was wearing a skirt. Do I make sense?
I like the sentence about the cameras - they didn't know why they should be suspicious, but knew they should be suspicious nonetheless. That's great!
I think this is a great chapter, but as you know, it's hard for me to decide.
How nice that you award bonuses. I just noticed that. 8-)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I'm no fashion expert (I'm probably not qualified to work at the Gap.) I'll fix that. Yes, I put certificates on the chapters. They'll stay up for a while.
Comment from JTStone
I thought you made some real progress on the last chapter, but slipped a bit back into old bad habits on this one
A little bit wordy when Grace enters the visitor's center--around the filling out of the paper, it could be shorter and stronger. Also an errant capitol S in the waiting room, Grace and Some of the...
As you roll on with the story, the pace does pick back up.
Work on the section where Grace enters the facility. Also don't extend your tag lines too much. Most readers can guess the tone of the speech. (the part exiting the waiting room) Sometimes it's appropriate, but don't get carried away with it. Dialog is what drives a drama. Too much information can slow down the bus.
Jimmy
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
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I thought you made some real progress on the last chapter, but slipped a bit back into old bad habits on this one
A little bit wordy when Grace enters the visitor's center--around the filling out of the paper, it could be shorter and stronger. Also an errant capitol S in the waiting room, Grace and Some of the...
As you roll on with the story, the pace does pick back up.
Work on the section where Grace enters the facility. Also don't extend your tag lines too much. Most readers can guess the tone of the speech. (the part exiting the waiting room) Sometimes it's appropriate, but don't get carried away with it. Dialog is what drives a drama. Too much information can slow down the bus.
Jimmy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I will work to streamline it.
Comment from foxangie123
You are an amazing author and I so enjoy the way you write. It isn't going not noticed either. Keep going and don't stop.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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You are an amazing author and I so enjoy the way you write. It isn't going not noticed either. Keep going and don't stop.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from P1
straight-forward liability waver-------- waiver.... maybe
it is spelled that way where you are but in ireland it's
waiver.
yep another great chapter i am enjoyingreading this story
and getting the background i missed first time round
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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straight-forward liability waver-------- waiver.... maybe
it is spelled that way where you are but in ireland it's
waiver.
yep another great chapter i am enjoyingreading this story
and getting the background i missed first time round
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thanks. You're right.