Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 140 "Sonnet 7"My thoughts about t
20 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Morning, Poet,
You've penned a fine sonnet for the Wreath. It carries the logic and argument of the prior sonnets forward in a thought provoking manner.
Your sonnet has good phrasing. Some of the lines I liked best include:
our detritus pollutes
spoiled by human brutes
Oh Earth,your patience...
The sonnet is in fine Shakespearean form. No problems or concerns there.
Well done!
Ray
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Good Morning, Poet,
You've penned a fine sonnet for the Wreath. It carries the logic and argument of the prior sonnets forward in a thought provoking manner.
Your sonnet has good phrasing. Some of the lines I liked best include:
our detritus pollutes
spoiled by human brutes
Oh Earth,your patience...
The sonnet is in fine Shakespearean form. No problems or concerns there.
Well done!
Ray
Comment Written 02-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Thank you Ray. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Debbie Noland
You do a great job here with the "wasted resources" theme, with special emphasis on the destructive nature of humanity and the personification of earth in a way that suggests she could soon impose punishment as her "patience" runs out. In so doing, I think you, more than any of the rest of us, portray the situation as a conflict with opposing sides lining up and facing off. That is an interesting, needed perspective that adds richness and variety to our collective effort.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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You do a great job here with the "wasted resources" theme, with special emphasis on the destructive nature of humanity and the personification of earth in a way that suggests she could soon impose punishment as her "patience" runs out. In so doing, I think you, more than any of the rest of us, portray the situation as a conflict with opposing sides lining up and facing off. That is an interesting, needed perspective that adds richness and variety to our collective effort.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Thank you Debbie for this excellent, and well considered review, although I found them all quite good.
Comment from Domino 2
Excellent addition to the sonnet wreath, Tom.
Faultless meter, and top rhymes, including a couple of 'slant' ones.
Dramatic and effective word choices.
Nice touches of assonance and consonance.
I'm sure Mother Earth WILL 'compensate', whatever us selfish humans throw at her, but whether we'll be around to appreciate it is another matter.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Excellent addition to the sonnet wreath, Tom.
Faultless meter, and top rhymes, including a couple of 'slant' ones.
Dramatic and effective word choices.
Nice touches of assonance and consonance.
I'm sure Mother Earth WILL 'compensate', whatever us selfish humans throw at her, but whether we'll be around to appreciate it is another matter.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 02-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Thank you Ray. Indeed we may not.
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Treischel:
I love the artwork chosen to represent this piece. The entire project is a phenomenal undertaking. My kudos to you all for banding together on this! What is also amazing is that this collection is a representation of like-minded individuals from all across the planet.
Specific to this sonnet: I love the presentation. Yours seems to really stand out. I have two favorite lines in this piece:
We burn, we dig, we throw away the waste.
Oh Mother Earth, you're spoiled by human brutes!
I have just two suggestions: My first is that I was thinking perhaps the Master Sonnet should be listed at the end, rather than at the top of the sonnet creators list. My thought was to read them in order, as suggested, which, at this point, involves going to each profile. If I'm reading this correctly, the Master sonnet should be #15 as it contains lines from each of the sonnets. Or is it purposefully meant to be read first?
My 2nd is that you place all of these sonnets in a Multi-Author book. I haven't been part of one of those it a long time, so I'm not sure if that needed to be done as they were posted, or not. I was thinking that if you started a book with a prologue and then were to add them in order, it would be easier for the readers to enjoy them all at once, in the order which they were intended. As I said, I'm not sure exactly how to go about that, or if you can now that all the poems have been posted. You may want to ask robina if you aren't sure how (she's the one who initiated the multi-author book with which I was previously involved)
Bravo to a stellar project!
Kim
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Hi Treischel:
I love the artwork chosen to represent this piece. The entire project is a phenomenal undertaking. My kudos to you all for banding together on this! What is also amazing is that this collection is a representation of like-minded individuals from all across the planet.
Specific to this sonnet: I love the presentation. Yours seems to really stand out. I have two favorite lines in this piece:
We burn, we dig, we throw away the waste.
Oh Mother Earth, you're spoiled by human brutes!
I have just two suggestions: My first is that I was thinking perhaps the Master Sonnet should be listed at the end, rather than at the top of the sonnet creators list. My thought was to read them in order, as suggested, which, at this point, involves going to each profile. If I'm reading this correctly, the Master sonnet should be #15 as it contains lines from each of the sonnets. Or is it purposefully meant to be read first?
My 2nd is that you place all of these sonnets in a Multi-Author book. I haven't been part of one of those it a long time, so I'm not sure if that needed to be done as they were posted, or not. I was thinking that if you started a book with a prologue and then were to add them in order, it would be easier for the readers to enjoy them all at once, in the order which they were intended. As I said, I'm not sure exactly how to go about that, or if you can now that all the poems have been posted. You may want to ask robina if you aren't sure how (she's the one who initiated the multi-author book with which I was previously involved)
Bravo to a stellar project!
Kim
Comment Written 02-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
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Thank you Kim, I totally agree with both of your suggestions. I believe the master should be located at both the beginning, and again at the end, thereby reinforcing the common lines. I wasn't the leader of the project, or it would have been put in a multi-author book. The sequencing would have been problematic but doable. It just would have delayed the release a day or two. You are right on in your observations.
Comment from robyn corum
Tom,
I think I have now read most of the poems in this wreath, and highly commend you all for the individual parts and for the sum. A wonderful subject and handled brilliantly!
Favorite lines:
And as we do, our detritus pollutes
The land and sea and air that we must use.
Oh Mother Earth, you're spoiled by human brutes!
The damage that is wrought, you can't excuse.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2016
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Tom,
I think I have now read most of the poems in this wreath, and highly commend you all for the individual parts and for the sum. A wonderful subject and handled brilliantly!
Favorite lines:
And as we do, our detritus pollutes
The land and sea and air that we must use.
Oh Mother Earth, you're spoiled by human brutes!
The damage that is wrought, you can't excuse.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2016
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Thank you robin. I just finished reading them all myself. Glad you enjoyed them.
Comment from Gloria ....
I think you've addressed the lines and theme from the master sonnet, very well Treischel. You covered a lot of ground in pristine rhyme and meter and your logic is easy to follow which is how I like it. :))
Couple of nits:
Waisted (Wasted) Resources
But soon you'll find a way to compensate, (.)
It was wonderful working on the project with so many VERY talented authors. Thank you.
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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I think you've addressed the lines and theme from the master sonnet, very well Treischel. You covered a lot of ground in pristine rhyme and meter and your logic is easy to follow which is how I like it. :))
Couple of nits:
Waisted (Wasted) Resources
But soon you'll find a way to compensate, (.)
It was wonderful working on the project with so many VERY talented authors. Thank you.
Gloria
Comment Written 31-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Thank you Gloria. Gosh, how did I miss that one. I appreciate the input. I could go either way between comma or period.
Comment from Just2Write
This is quite lovely, m'dear. I'm amazed at how so many excellent Sonnets were created from the Master Sonnet - Yours is no exception.
The meter and flow are impeccably well done.
Your Sonnet was a joy to read.
Rose.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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This is quite lovely, m'dear. I'm amazed at how so many excellent Sonnets were created from the Master Sonnet - Yours is no exception.
The meter and flow are impeccably well done.
Your Sonnet was a joy to read.
Rose.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much Rose. There are a lot of talented people here.
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yup. And the bar is rising.
Comment from Pantygynt
These are awfully difficult to review as, being a member of the team I have lived with them all for a long time it seems. It is great to see them all emerge like butterflies from their chrysalis. Especially when I knew most of them as caterpillars, have seen them grow and take wing.
I don't see how I can reserve all my sixes for two and a half weeks for this project as Jyoti is doing so I shall go the opposite way and give them all five as if I had already run out. The one exception I made was Jyoti herself as the organiser. She got a six.
This is a great sonnet, a perfect sonnet and in any other circumstance would deserve a six.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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These are awfully difficult to review as, being a member of the team I have lived with them all for a long time it seems. It is great to see them all emerge like butterflies from their chrysalis. Especially when I knew most of them as caterpillars, have seen them grow and take wing.
I don't see how I can reserve all my sixes for two and a half weeks for this project as Jyoti is doing so I shall go the opposite way and give them all five as if I had already run out. The one exception I made was Jyoti herself as the organiser. She got a six.
This is a great sonnet, a perfect sonnet and in any other circumstance would deserve a six.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. Yes, I gave Jyoti a 6 also. I understand completely.
Comment from lightink
I am very deeply grateful that you joined this project! I am so happy that despite of our differences, we are very much on the same page regarding the fact that this level of pollution can't go on! Actually, you joining this wreath gave me so much faith in the human ability to unite for an important cause - even if they see it differently! Thank you, Tom!
Instill have trouble digest that this poem took you about half an hour! What an exceptional genius! It's well built up, great rhyme and imagery! Very impressive (yet somewhat intimidating comparing it to how long it takes for me to write :))
Oh, no, my computer doesn't allow me to copy/paste (something just went wrong), which makes it very difficult for me to refer to specific lines.
Lines 78 are my favorite ones! The "human brutes" is so expressive, especially when coupled with the word "Mother". Very poignant!
The closing couplet is an absolutely outstanding one.
Also, I appreciated the diverse and unique rhyming!
Thank you again, my friend!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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I am very deeply grateful that you joined this project! I am so happy that despite of our differences, we are very much on the same page regarding the fact that this level of pollution can't go on! Actually, you joining this wreath gave me so much faith in the human ability to unite for an important cause - even if they see it differently! Thank you, Tom!
Instill have trouble digest that this poem took you about half an hour! What an exceptional genius! It's well built up, great rhyme and imagery! Very impressive (yet somewhat intimidating comparing it to how long it takes for me to write :))
Oh, no, my computer doesn't allow me to copy/paste (something just went wrong), which makes it very difficult for me to refer to specific lines.
Lines 78 are my favorite ones! The "human brutes" is so expressive, especially when coupled with the word "Mother". Very poignant!
The closing couplet is an absolutely outstanding one.
Also, I appreciated the diverse and unique rhyming!
Thank you again, my friend!
Comment Written 31-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Thank you very much Jyoti. Appreciate being invited, as well as this warm review, and the 6 stars. Sometimes things flow out pretty easily. Other times it takes a whole hour. Lol. You pulled together an amazing group of poets and executed a fabulous project. Congratulations to you. I am only surprised that you didn't set up a multi-author book for use to post in. Then everything would be in one place. Of course that would have involved a lot of sequencing issues for you.
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Poet,
Beautiful poem, full of stirring imagery in excellent metre and rhyme, to which I must respond:
To you and all your fellow sonneteers
I say "Well done for being so sincere"
The beauty of your verse moves me to tears
But not the substance of your case, I fear.
Such weather trends have happened heretofore
When Scotland's clime permitted grapes to grow:
While all of Europe suffered droughts galore
With winter snows far worse than we would know.
While sunspots rain down chaos without pause
And Earth herself spews clouds of gas and dust
How can we logically claim the cause
Is solely due to mankind's greed and lust.
It's true that we have much we should deplore
But let us first be sure what we should cure.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Dear Poet,
Beautiful poem, full of stirring imagery in excellent metre and rhyme, to which I must respond:
To you and all your fellow sonneteers
I say "Well done for being so sincere"
The beauty of your verse moves me to tears
But not the substance of your case, I fear.
Such weather trends have happened heretofore
When Scotland's clime permitted grapes to grow:
While all of Europe suffered droughts galore
With winter snows far worse than we would know.
While sunspots rain down chaos without pause
And Earth herself spews clouds of gas and dust
How can we logically claim the cause
Is solely due to mankind's greed and lust.
It's true that we have much we should deplore
But let us first be sure what we should cure.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 31-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Thank you Reg, Bravo. My sentiments exactly. You'll notice that mine only deals with waste and abuse, not Global Warming, which I think is a bunch of claptrap and human arrogance,. In fact I wrote and posted this ACROSTIC Sonnet a couple weeks ago.
What now, is all this Global-warming fuss?
Has Earth not often waffled hot and cold
As Ice Ages have often cycled thus,
That underwent reverses very bold?
I think we give our impact overplay,
Since Nature trumps our efforts any day.
Ten thousand times worse is volcanic ash
Hurled high into our open atmosphere,
Inhibiting all sunlight in a flash.
So many times that thing has happened here.
Forever Earth has undergone such change.
Unlikely is our chance to rearrange.
So worry 'bout the weather, if you must.
Still, Earth will keep recurring boom and bust.
