Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

Sounds pretty but I don't think I'd want to stay on a boat. Maybe on the shore sleeping under the stars and waking up to it that way but still sounds amazing. Great job with this and good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016

Thanks for the review.I spend alot of time in Zanzibar, going next week. I stay in a little beach bungalow, but i love to sail out to the reef in the morning with my fisherman friend.We always bring back some reef fish for my dinner. Cheers j

Comment from alvina224224

Excellent

Unusual read, author. First time I have read haiku 'stacked' as it is described, and it has shown me the vast scope that is poetry. I consider myself an amateur in this field, and work like this encourages me to keep trying - so consider yourself a role model. LOL/

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016

Hey,thanks for the encouraging review. This is such a great site to improve,even writing the reviews helps. Thanks for reading I will check you too, cheers judester

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

I really, really liked these but they appear more as a 5-7-5 suite rather than haiku. It is my understanding that in a haiku suite each haiku needs to still observe the conventions. 2 lines interconnected with a satori or denouement. these don't really do that.

Verses one and two fit this brief superbly but three and especially four seem to be one idea or sentence split over the three lines.

I may be wrong here but I am not sure it fulfils the brief, which is a real shame as these are good.

GMG

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016

Thanks for the insightful review. I will sleep on this and tweak those two, thanks for your reviews, cheers

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

All four of the haiku in your haiku suite contest entry are well composed and written, Anonymous Poet.

You've chosen to go with a more conventional 5-7-5 syllabic count in all four.
I once thought haiku must include a kigo, or seasonal reference, but have since read that Japanese haiku masters such as Basho, Issa, Buson and Shiki, did not always do so in their own writings.

In any event, good luck with this. Each one creates a very vivid image, and that's really all haiku is about.

~Dean

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016

Thanks for the encouraging and insightful review, as always. I might tweak the last two. The colors that I chose actually imply a certain season in Zanzibar and I am hoping the reader will understand, obscure as it is, cheers j

reply by Dean Kuch on 22-Jan-2016

You're very welcome.
Cheers to you as well.
~Dean

reply by Anonymous Member on 25-Jan-2016

You're very welcome.
Cheers to you as well.
~Dean