A Wilted Flower
Free Verse45 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Karen, this is a very well written free verse and the content is very good. It is a very topical subject and interesting. You have told the story well. One little point - 'for what(?) she knows not. Til, either till or til'.
Well done - good luck in the contest - warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Karen, this is a very well written free verse and the content is very good. It is a very topical subject and interesting. You have told the story well. One little point - 'for what(?) she knows not. Til, either till or til'.
Well done - good luck in the contest - warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thank you for your review and kind comments, Dorothy. I had questions about those issues myself. :-)
Comment from rjuselius
When I was living in Scotland I worked in old folks homes. The treatment the patients had was truly horrible. I liked talking to the old people much more than with my coworkers. I think your poem reflects this misery.
Thank you for sharing this delicate piece!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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When I was living in Scotland I worked in old folks homes. The treatment the patients had was truly horrible. I liked talking to the old people much more than with my coworkers. I think your poem reflects this misery.
Thank you for sharing this delicate piece!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much, Rebekka. Yes, I am sure you saw first hand their poor plight...glad you were there to cheer them up a bit. God bless. :-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
It is sad to see old people once vibrant and lively wither away in an old age home. I am lucky enough to have me youngest daughter around to keep my mind sound.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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It is sad to see old people once vibrant and lively wither away in an old age home. I am lucky enough to have me youngest daughter around to keep my mind sound.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks for your review and comments, Sandra. It does make a lot of difference when one's loved ones can help them.
Blessings,
Karen :-)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wonderful poem, Debbie. I can just picture her, and if it were not for my sweet hubby taking care of me, I might well be her, with my daughter so far away.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Wonderful poem, Debbie. I can just picture her, and if it were not for my sweet hubby taking care of me, I might well be her, with my daughter so far away.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks, Phyllis, and yes we are fortunate when a family member can still assist. Keep on keeping on, sister!
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
This is such a great contest entry. A few years ago, I was sent to a nursing home pretending to be a rehab facility. I spent 33 days in this place. I was there for something that I could do at home. But no, I lived alone. During the days, I would wander the hallways looking for those people that you described in this poem. God, they didn't want me to go back to my room because they were so starved for companionship.
I am retired now and live in a complex that is very close to an assisted living home. I am there twice a week and sometimes more weather permitting.
It is so gratifying. I live alone and at age 67, if it wasn't for these people, I would be like the woman in this very poignant piece of poetry.
I am glad that I came across your poem. Thank you for sharing and I wish you good luck in this contest.
And bless you for your concerns for these lost and forgotten souls,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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This is such a great contest entry. A few years ago, I was sent to a nursing home pretending to be a rehab facility. I spent 33 days in this place. I was there for something that I could do at home. But no, I lived alone. During the days, I would wander the hallways looking for those people that you described in this poem. God, they didn't want me to go back to my room because they were so starved for companionship.
I am retired now and live in a complex that is very close to an assisted living home. I am there twice a week and sometimes more weather permitting.
It is so gratifying. I live alone and at age 67, if it wasn't for these people, I would be like the woman in this very poignant piece of poetry.
I am glad that I came across your poem. Thank you for sharing and I wish you good luck in this contest.
And bless you for your concerns for these lost and forgotten souls,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thank you, Jim, for your review and kind comments. Good for you for staying involved and getting out. It will keep you going. :-)
Comment from Pantygynt
I think you have captured the feel of the fear that most people outside their walls have for these places, despite their doing, as you say, the best they can. I wonder though what the real feelings of those within are. Some I know are just waiting hopefully for death to extinguish their misery but there are those who actually seem quite hopeful and content, or are they just acting for our benefit. It is difficult to know really.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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I think you have captured the feel of the fear that most people outside their walls have for these places, despite their doing, as you say, the best they can. I wonder though what the real feelings of those within are. Some I know are just waiting hopefully for death to extinguish their misery but there are those who actually seem quite hopeful and content, or are they just acting for our benefit. It is difficult to know really.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and comments. I think the difference between the two scenarios is attitude most of the time. Some people are just more positive than others and it shows in how they respond to difficult situations. Blessings! :-)
Comment from William Ross
This is very well written and nicely done, a bit sad waiting to be thrown away. A great entry, good luck in the contest. have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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This is very well written and nicely done, a bit sad waiting to be thrown away. A great entry, good luck in the contest. have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks William. It is a hard topic but one that needs to be addressed. Old people matter. :-)
Comment from danpald
So much clearer the notes below
That is truth to know
For the poem gives fear
That you lack the view to see
The need is to give value
To the life now lived does matter
With visits that mean something
Mostly with learning that life is knowing
Your poem is lovely
It flows well you see
Still i loved more your comments
For there reason matched the matter
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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So much clearer the notes below
That is truth to know
For the poem gives fear
That you lack the view to see
The need is to give value
To the life now lived does matter
With visits that mean something
Mostly with learning that life is knowing
Your poem is lovely
It flows well you see
Still i loved more your comments
For there reason matched the matter
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much, Dan. I appreciate your review and kind comments.
Comment from Leineco
What can I say about this? My heart aches for the ones
left abandoned. For the very thought that we (or they)
may end their life just "waiting to be tossed away" - no
longer a valued human :-(
There used to be a time we learned how to interface
with the elderly - but over the last 40 years or so, we
heave become a nation who prefers the elderly "hidden"
away - where someone is paid to care for them in our stead.
It's a sad situation.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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What can I say about this? My heart aches for the ones
left abandoned. For the very thought that we (or they)
may end their life just "waiting to be tossed away" - no
longer a valued human :-(
There used to be a time we learned how to interface
with the elderly - but over the last 40 years or so, we
heave become a nation who prefers the elderly "hidden"
away - where someone is paid to care for them in our stead.
It's a sad situation.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much for reviewing. Yes, we need to get back to taking care of our elders. They deserve much more dignity than what they get sometimes.
Comment from judester
I really like this and you make me think I might be able to free verse. I have tried.
I like the somber image you create, that is happening every day.I feel for these elders that are neglected in their old age. They spend their life working hard to make a nice life for the children,then neglected and put into these cold nursing homes alone. Then when they die alone, so many family and friends come running to the funeral,crying in their bouquets and telling stories of how wonderful this woman was and how she touched their lives. Imagine the joy these stories,attention and flowers would have been enjoyed when she was alive. Bravo, judester
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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I really like this and you make me think I might be able to free verse. I have tried.
I like the somber image you create, that is happening every day.I feel for these elders that are neglected in their old age. They spend their life working hard to make a nice life for the children,then neglected and put into these cold nursing homes alone. Then when they die alone, so many family and friends come running to the funeral,crying in their bouquets and telling stories of how wonderful this woman was and how she touched their lives. Imagine the joy these stories,attention and flowers would have been enjoyed when she was alive. Bravo, judester
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
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Thanks so much for your high review and insightful comments. It is a hard topic for sure.
