Comment from Loren (7)

Excellent

Anupam, haven't read your works in quite a while, but glad I ran across this one especially as I'm trying to understand the mechanics of a sonnet and how it is a writer can put so much meaning into the metered rhyme and make it look as if it were done without effort. As to the poems meaning, it seems as if the author counts the wind as the courier of all good things that inspire the heart. The sounds, the smells, the sights, the touch of light. Nice to be able to read your work again. Loren

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2016

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

This is really beautiful, I've read it now for at least the third time. Your words are well-chosen, eloquent, flowing expertly.

You capture the flow of words that are so abundant on "sunny days", then evolving to more difficulty as clouds gather aloft...at last, even the wind abandons you. The desolate sands of a desert of words is yours, until, at last! A welcome gust of wind.

Just beautiful - very accomplished writing.
Carol

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016

Thanks for your kind comments and rating, Carol! I appreciate your gesture of reviewing this inactive post. So pleased to know you enjoyed the imagery here. I appreciate it a lot.

Regards,
Anupam

reply by ciliverde on 07-Feb-2016

It was my pleasure to read it :)

Comment from rhymelord

Exceptional

Dear The Death,
And all too soon the magic of this ends
But not before we glimpse the poet's heart
All doubt and hesitation he transcends
To wait with courage for his Muse to start.

Quite brilliant, but then I am always a sucker for rhyme and metre and what sits at the top of that genre -- the sonnet.
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Feb-2016

Thanks for your wonderful and poetic reply, Reg! I enjoyed reading your thoughts. I appreciate your kind comments and glowing stars. Have a great week ahead!

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

This is surely a relatable struggle. Very eloquently told and the presentation with the art was very good. "Bereft of wind, my heart turns void and grieves," was an outstanding line.

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks for reading, and your positive comments! Much appreciated.

Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

Hi there,
You are so very right
Sometimes we are bereft of words.
None to be found and certainly none that flow...
But you are also right in that no blankness last forever
It won't be long before you are inspired and will share
with us your unique poetry once again..
This one is, in and of itself, a masterpiece!!!
:-) Carolyn

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Carolyn. So pleased you could relate to the theme. I appreciate your sharing of thoughts.

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from lightink

Exceptional

I was hoping that you make it before the deadline! I am so glad you did! :)

And what a beautiful one! If this is how your writers block speaks through you, well, then how does your poetry looks like when has a free, unbridled flow? :)
I loved the sustained metaphor of wind - as the powerful carrier of magical words.
I am in love with these lines:
"It captures quarrel 'mid the clouds and sun,
soon moves ahead to witness lonely shore--
then turns to steal the songs of birds that run"

Also, I liked how you returned to the image of wind in your closing couplet!
Very fine writing!

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Hi Jyoti,

Thanks a lot for your wonderful review and the glowing stars. Again, I apologize for the delay in getting back to the review.

I wanted to get back to replying to reviews the day I posted this, but then, work kept me occupied. I'm glad to you know enjoyed the metaphor of wind, and the images, too. I value your comments. Thanks for this lovely review!

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello :)

I find your sonnet's metaphor interesting. I think nature's wind, and word wind have a lot in common.

Your sonnet is well crafted with solid rhyme and meter. The presentation is attractive and easy to read.

Good job!

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Hi MariVal,

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. Your comments are much appreciated as always. Hope you're having wonderful time. :)

Reagrds,
Anupam

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

First off Anupam I absolutely love your colour choices and artwork. There's something about green that I adore.

There is so much joy in the first two stanzas, particularly enjoy this:

hen turns to steal the songs of birds that run
across lush fields with daffodils galore

I think your sonnet is written to perfection. The cadence, meter and rhymes are just a delight.

I also enjoy the couplet filled with hope that the metaphorical wind will return with speed to your slate.

Top contender in the contest in my humble opinion.

Gloria

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Gloria. Sorry for the delay in replying - I was occupied with a lot of work. Have just posted the climate change sonnet after I wrote this. LOL.

Congrats again, for your first place finish. It was a delight for me to have finished in the third place, with this being the only non-romance sonnet among all. Hope you're doing well.

Regards,
Anupam

Comment from mumsyone

Exceptional

A wonderful and meaningful sonnet! Sonnets are far from my favorite form of poetry, but I knew this would be good, coming from you. I wish you all the best in the contest. This one deserves first place!

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Hi Lois,

So kind of you to have said that! I appreciate your encouraging comments and kind rating. Sorry for this delay in replying...but work has been keeping me busy since mid-December. Thanks for reading and the glowing stars, too.

Reagrds,
Anupam

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

As usual, dear Anupam, your sonnet is rich in depth of emotion and philosophy as well as phonetics and fine phrasing. Well crafted composition style

Delicious to read aloud with the alliteration of b in lines two and three and the medley of S sounds (our mutual favorite!); the consonance of S in second stanza; the consonance and alliteration of L and alliteration of W in the third and the alliteration of G in the couplet.

Love the personification of wind embracing light...delightful!

One suggestion--use ON in stead of IN in line one.

great line:
It fondles scented buds about to bloom,
and whispers magic bound in full-moon night--

*Scansion forced on the word dispel, which should b disPEL not DISpel

*
Eavesdropping quarrel 'mid the clouds and sun,

scansion forced on Eavesdropping--but you can get away with it. Still that line is weakened slightly--consider revising


Love the imagery and voicing here:
then turns to steal the songs of birds that run
across lush fields with daffodils galore.


Nice assonance of O her accentuating the consonance of S and L medley:

As nothing lasts for long, the wind too leaves...
alone my soul to roam through desert sands.

I stumble on the use of TO roam. Might work better with WILL roam--AND PERHAPS A COMMA AFTER ALONE...

alone(,) my soul will roam through desert sands.


Expressive...eloquently voiced--the choppiness is actually fluid, read aloud--well done:

Bereft of wind, my heart turns void and grieves--
a poet struggling hard - no word in hands.


Love the tone of hope in the closing couplet:

No blankness lasts forever, thus I wait...
for gust of wind to grace again my slate.

I stumbled, personally, however, on the use of ellipses before FOR--interferes with the flow, IMHO. also, the reverse syntax of to grace again my slate sounds odd to my ear. How about

for gust of wind again to grace my slate?


Loved this--leans towards a six but still has room for tweaking a couple of nits...

Bravo...hope those winds keep gracing your slate (or keyboard)...

Good luck in the contest, beautiful poet-brother

Namaste,
rd

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks for this finely detailed and constructive review, dear friend. So kind of you to have reviewed it past 2 am that night. I made all the recommended changes that night only...but after that, I got too busy with my work, so I apologize for the delay.

Your sharp eyes helped me secure third place with this, so a very special thanks for it. :) I tried to nominate you, but it seems I have already done so for this month, and site won't allow me to nominate you again.

Thanks again, for this superb review! Hope you're doing well. :)

Namaste,
Anupam

reply by rama devi on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks for following up and your gracious comments! Nice to hear from you, Anupam. I am doing okay--jut getting over a killer tropical flu. Better now. Hope all is blissful with you?

Namaste rd

reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016

Oh! You should be careful. It's probably because of sudden change in climate. Even we are having delayed Winter in Central and North India. I'm currently in Pune, which has more or less the same weather as Bangalore. Workwise, I'm quite busy. Sending warm wishes. Hope you get totally fine soon. :)

Regards,
Anupam

reply by rama devi on 27-Jan-2016

Thanks so much, my friend...it's a virus going around the ashram...people living in close quarters....plus the climate, perhaps. :)


It's good you're busy with work. That means you have income, too!

Pune is nice, I've heard.

Warmest Wishes,
rd