2nd Time Around
Viewing comments for Prologue "Prologue"A fight for life and truth.
34 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very suspenseful initial chapter of your novel! I think it was chapter 10 that I reviewed last week, when you were promoting the whole book (the chapters you have written thus far).
I was hoping to review all of them, while they were still being promoted, but more pressing matters demanded my attention, and I just got back to doing a little reviewing now. So I guess I will review a chapter now and then, as I am able to... I do review non-promoted work, but not as much as what's being promoted, for obvious reasons. I really like your book a lot, though!
I found two very minor errors:
understanding what she'd interrupted, she had to get out.
-->
Understanding what she'd interrupted, she had to get out.
desperate thoughts bounced around in her brain,
-->
Desperate thoughts bounced around in her brain,
So I wanted to go back and start at the beginning, and now I see that I am reading about the same Sarah who eventually was falsely charged with the murder of this entire family (the killing of the father/husband/ true murderer obviously being an accident that occurred in the course of self-defense), was consequently sentenced to death by electrocution and lost her eyesight.
You have conveyed Sarah's confusion and desperation very effectively. Very well written!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Very suspenseful initial chapter of your novel! I think it was chapter 10 that I reviewed last week, when you were promoting the whole book (the chapters you have written thus far).
I was hoping to review all of them, while they were still being promoted, but more pressing matters demanded my attention, and I just got back to doing a little reviewing now. So I guess I will review a chapter now and then, as I am able to... I do review non-promoted work, but not as much as what's being promoted, for obvious reasons. I really like your book a lot, though!
I found two very minor errors:
understanding what she'd interrupted, she had to get out.
-->
Understanding what she'd interrupted, she had to get out.
desperate thoughts bounced around in her brain,
-->
Desperate thoughts bounced around in her brain,
So I wanted to go back and start at the beginning, and now I see that I am reading about the same Sarah who eventually was falsely charged with the murder of this entire family (the killing of the father/husband/ true murderer obviously being an accident that occurred in the course of self-defense), was consequently sentenced to death by electrocution and lost her eyesight.
You have conveyed Sarah's confusion and desperation very effectively. Very well written!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much for your support and these 6 stars.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I really enjoy reading your book. You did a good job describing a murder scene in a woman's voice. I want to read the next chapter now.
Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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I really enjoy reading your book. You did a good job describing a murder scene in a woman's voice. I want to read the next chapter now.
Well done.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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Thank you. The prologue and Chapters 1 through 12 are revived.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, this chapter is so scary - the killer next door - that just kills and kills with no reason. This new novel (for me), got me already on high alert waiting for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Wow, this chapter is so scary - the killer next door - that just kills and kills with no reason. This new novel (for me), got me already on high alert waiting for the next chapter.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I am a sucker for thrillers and this kinda whetted my appetite. Finely crafted with descriptive writing, it pulled me into the middle of action I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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I am a sucker for thrillers and this kinda whetted my appetite. Finely crafted with descriptive writing, it pulled me into the middle of action I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from robyn corum
T,
Really strange story - and a surprise since you are already knee-deep in a different story/novel. But this was certainly tense and entertaining - what does that say about me I wonder... *smile*
The idea of her going downstairs seemed a little far-fetched to ME but I know different people react in different ways. This seemed more in line with a horror movie, where the MC never does the appropriate thing, but always puts herself in MORE danger.
I also couldn't tell if this was a single stand-alone piece or the start of another longer item.
Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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T,
Really strange story - and a surprise since you are already knee-deep in a different story/novel. But this was certainly tense and entertaining - what does that say about me I wonder... *smile*
The idea of her going downstairs seemed a little far-fetched to ME but I know different people react in different ways. This seemed more in line with a horror movie, where the MC never does the appropriate thing, but always puts herself in MORE danger.
I also couldn't tell if this was a single stand-alone piece or the start of another longer item.
Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2020
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My mind works in strange ways ... don't ask. ;) I'm reviving a story I posted a while back. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a pretty packed Prologue in relation to others I have read. I think you could get it down to a more reasonable length if you worked on editing it some. If a word or paragraph does not become important down the road than you probably don't need it. Nice start and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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This is a pretty packed Prologue in relation to others I have read. I think you could get it down to a more reasonable length if you worked on editing it some. If a word or paragraph does not become important down the road than you probably don't need it. Nice start and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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I will see what I can do. Thank you for the tip.
Comment from AndyBrown
Wow.
This was a good read. I was caught up in the action that I didn't pay attention to spelling/grammar, sorry if I missed anything. Nice job setting the hook!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Wow.
This was a good read. I was caught up in the action that I didn't pay attention to spelling/grammar, sorry if I missed anything. Nice job setting the hook!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from aryr
I actually had chapter 12 flag up for me but was able to backtrack to the beginning. Such a devastating prologue. It is full of suspense, terror, blood and gore, fear. It brings back the line that I have no idea who it was wrote 'just when you thought you knew someone'. This was a fantastic lead in, great writing, thank you.
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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I actually had chapter 12 flag up for me but was able to backtrack to the beginning. Such a devastating prologue. It is full of suspense, terror, blood and gore, fear. It brings back the line that I have no idea who it was wrote 'just when you thought you knew someone'. This was a fantastic lead in, great writing, thank you.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 24-May-2016
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Thank you. I'm going for a different sort of mystery here.
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You are welcome and you are definitely achieving your goal.
Comment from logan3m
I love the way this book starts! You never get the "who done it" until way late! It will be interesting to see what happens next! I will read the rest as I have time! Good work and God Bless!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016
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I love the way this book starts! You never get the "who done it" until way late! It will be interesting to see what happens next! I will read the rest as I have time! Good work and God Bless!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2016
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Thank you very much. The entire book is up.
Comment from KarlSlevin
My initial thoughts are, too many she's, overuse of names when not necessary. IE When Ben Parker speaks, we know it's Ben Parker. I think it needs trimming down to the basics.
In my opinion.
Karl
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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My initial thoughts are, too many she's, overuse of names when not necessary. IE When Ben Parker speaks, we know it's Ben Parker. I think it needs trimming down to the basics.
In my opinion.
Karl
Comment Written 09-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2016
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Thank you. I have been trying to do that. I appreciate you taking the time.