Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Chrissy,

This is a sweet poem and says a lot in just a few words. These poems -- I actually ADORE haiku and senryu, and these can often be similar -- are not easy to write so that they SAY something. I like the first two lines especially. The only comment I might make is to make the third line more personal...? In senryu a nd haiku (which I realize this is NOT) rhyming isn't really allowed, so I might suggest (as a matter of opinion, ONLY) something about how this setting makes you FEEL when you are enjoying it. Something that is not predictable -- like 'always makes me smile' - (only that IS a bit predictable, so it would take more thought than mine, maybe. hahaha!)

Hope you take my comments in the manner they are intended. Hugs - and good luck in the contest!

Of course, I would not take off stars for something that is a matter of opinion! *smile*

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Ho Robyn great to hear from you and thanks for your review and helpful suggestions. I get some what confused re these formats so it is nice to have feedback . I think I have finally learnt how to write a Haiku and mayby a Senryu, That may be tested next time Ha Ha . So is 5-7-5 Just another name for a Senryu? I have so much enjoyed learning all about how to write poetry. I have always written since I was a little girl I wrote my first one in grade 6 and still have that ha ha. and until I joined FS I only wrote special poems for my family and friends mainly for special occasions like all the kids 21sts etc. I have always written just from the heart and tried to rhyme and have a rhythm to my poems. Occasionally I have based my poem on the same rhythm as some Australian bush Poets like Banjo Patterson and although I love writing poetry I had no idea there was so many different styles ( I had never heard of Haiku until I joine FS LOL and I feel so ignorant at times, when I read other reviewers expert opinions re meter etc ( had never heard about any type of meter either . (God I sound as If I have just come out from under a rock ha ha.) So it has been such an eye opener and So much fun being a part of this great site and have really appreciated everyones help and fabulous support and I feel at times maybe I can write something others think is pretty good ( other than my family and friends back home) So when I review any poerty I can only do it from how I feel about the words, composition ,rhyme and rhythm. I find I either like or dislike a poem based on my Gut feeling rather than actual poetic know how LOL ( perhaps thats not so bad hey at least it is honest and not pretentious ) I think I may try do so some online poetry classes so I can better understand the poetry formats and structures so I dont feel so ignorant. I would do a Uni class of poetry was offered as I much prefer face to face learning. but maybe there are some good online classes.
So It is always great to get help form my FS friends and I always look forward to your critiques and admire your work as well.
Sorry to have written a book as a reply LOL and many thanks an Cheers to you Christine ( just an old fashioned country girl ( Nana poet. 😀

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Ho Robyn great to hear from you and thanks for your review and helpful suggestions. I get some what confused re these formats so it is nice to have feedback . I think I have finally learnt how to write a Haiku and mayby a Senryu, That may be tested next time Ha Ha . So is 5-7-5 Just another name for a Senryu? I have so much enjoyed learning all about how to write poetry. I have always written since I was a little girl I wrote my first one in grade 6 and still have that ha ha. and until I joined FS I only wrote special poems for my family and friends mainly for special occasions like all the kids 21sts etc. I have always written just from the heart and tried to rhyme and have a rhythm to my poems. Occasionally I have based my poem on the same rhythm as some Australian bush Poets like Banjo Patterson and although I love writing poetry I had no idea there was so many different styles ( I had never heard of Haiku until I joine FS LOL and I feel so ignorant at times, when I read other reviewers expert opinions re meter etc ( had never heard about any type of meter either . (God I sound as If I have just come out from under a rock ha ha.) So it has been such an eye opener and So much fun being a part of this great site and have really appreciated everyones help and fabulous support and I feel at times maybe I can write something others think is pretty good ( other than my family and friends back home) So when I review any poerty I can only do it from how I feel about the words, composition ,rhyme and rhythm. I find I either like or dislike a poem based on my Gut feeling rather than actual poetic know how LOL ( perhaps thats not so bad hey at least it is honest and not pretentious ) I think I may try do so some online poetry classes so I can better understand the poetry formats and structures so I dont feel so ignorant. I would do a Uni class of poetry was offered as I much prefer face to face learning. but maybe there are some good online classes.
So It is always great to get help form my FS friends and I always look forward to your critiques and admire your work as well.
Sorry to have written a book as a reply LOL and many thanks an Cheers to you Christine ( just an old fashioned country girl ( Nana poet. 😀

reply by robyn corum on 20-Dec-2015

No problem! Did you know that FS offers classes? Two of my old favorite writers are no longer instructors, but I'm pretty sure that a lady I know rather well is one now. Her name is Sue Campion. She's pretty wonderful. I've taken several of the classes and can recommend them highly. They run about $99 and are in a forum where everyone just types the answers as they work with the instructor and then they have 'homework'. Pretty cool.

I'm sure I'm a lot older than you, and have been writing for a thousand years and I've only had a BIT of 'formal' training. You pick it all up mostly as you go. If you ever have questions, I would be more than happy to answer from at least my small knowledge. (just how far that will get you, I'm not sure, but with that and five bucks you should be able to buy a cola. hahahahaha!)

Let me know if I can help in any way. Hugs-

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Thanks Robyn appreciate your help ( but I bet I am 10 years older than you 1952 LOL) I will look into a classs through FS Cheers Christine

reply by robyn corum on 20-Dec-2015

hahaha... okay you win! (Is that good or bad for us? ) *smile*

Thanks!

Comment from a.w.brooks

Excellent

You are correct nature is beautiful and the humming bird feeder in the garden I have one just like it love the humming birds. Thanks for the read and it went well with the 575

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Thank you a.w brooks for your lovely comments for this 5-7-5 Nature poem I get great pleasure from my garden and the birds. Cheers

reply by a.w.brooks on 20-Dec-2015

Your Welcome

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Cheers have a great day

reply by a.w.brooks on 20-Dec-2015

U 2

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

very well written...there are so many wonderful sights to see in our world...if only people would like...Mother nature is amazing...love your poem...and a beautiful picture...

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Thank you I.raven for your review and comments for my poem my garden never ceases to amaze me with it seasonal changes and iLove the birds that it attracts many Cheers to you

reply by l.raven on 20-Dec-2015

you are so welcome Chrissy...I love the changing of the seasons...xxoo luff

reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015

Smiling too

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

We are surround by the wondrous beauty of nature and all of her glorious splendor each and everyday. If we would just slow down enough once in a while to take it all in and enjoy it.

Good 5-7-5 with a bit of end rhyme thrown into the mix for flavor.
Nicely done.
Best of luck to you in the booth.
~Dean

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Hi Dean. Thank you for your great feedback and yes if one slowed down what wonders one would find, I do love my garden though and delight in every new sprig and love seeing the birds come into have a feed. Much appreciate your time and review Cheers

reply by Dean Kuch on 19-Dec-2015

You're very welcome, and "Cheers!" to you as well.
~Dean

reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Make that a double ha ha

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This nice nature 5-7-5, My Native Garden, uses a good shot of a backyard garden to bring us into the idea of creating one's own environment that attracts the things we want to see.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thank you Bill for taking the time to read and review my 5-7-5 on nature, and I do enjoy watching everything grow and attract our Native birds as well. Cheers to you

Comment from Liberty Justice

Excellent

Around and surround verses that ring peacefulness of nature's lovely views of budding trees and lucious green grass. Photo accents verses of lovely poem.liberty justice

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thank you Liberty Justice for reading and reviewing my poem I welcome your lovely comments and yes my Native Garden is peaceful and show Nature at her best With Cheers

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, mystery writer, I love your garden, I am allergic to so many plants but I gladly use antihistimines to walk in the woods or view a garden beauty. I enjoyed reading this. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thanks you very much for reading and reviewing my poem for this contest. The image really doesn't do the garden justice as it is really lovely when all the Natives are in bloom and we have the birds visit bit I thought this fitting for this quest so thanks and keep using the antihistamines. I suffer with allergies in the spring so I know what that is like Grateful thanks and wish you a very Merry Xmas Cheers

reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thanks you very much for reading and reviewing my poem for this contest. The image really doesn't do the garden justice as it is really lovely when all the Natives are in bloom and we have the birds visit bit I thought this fitting for this quest so thanks and keep using the antihistamines. I suffer with allergies in the spring so I know what that is like Grateful thanks and wish you a very Merry Xmas Cheers

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very good, fits well with in the 5-7-5 and the nature theme, Great job on this Good luck in the contest with this. Merry Christmas to you.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thanks William and a very Merry Xmas to you too and Cheers for your support and lovely review for this Nature Contest poem. I do love my Native garden and all the little wonders it brings. 🎅

reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thank you so much William for reading my Contest Entry and for you lovely review and als to you a very Merry Christmas I hope you have a lovely celebration With many Cheers to you🎅

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mystery Author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, this garden looks fantastic and like your wonderful words very nature friendly.I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Hello Eric and many thanks for your kind review and rating for my Contest Nature entry. I love my Native garden and especially when we have the birds come in for the bird seed . They love the Native bushes as well and it has benn so great to watch it grow. With Cheers for you support

reply by Eric1 on 19-Dec-2015

You are very welcome my friend.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

A fine little 5-7-5 poem here which fits the brief as far as the contest goes. Nature is indeed a wondrous thing and if we are open to its beauty then it truly does not let us down.

All the best
GMG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2015

Thanks so much GMG for your encouraging words for my Nature Contest entry Thanks for reading this and yes there is so much to behold with Nature it is a never ending wonder Cheers for your support