Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 73 "Defeated"My book of poems and stories
15 total reviews
Comment from joeruptak
The rhyming is great and the smooth flow made for a very good read.
But what I love most about this poem is that it gave me a smile that kick started my day,
thank you very much
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2015
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The rhyming is great and the smooth flow made for a very good read.
But what I love most about this poem is that it gave me a smile that kick started my day,
thank you very much
Comment Written 03-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2015
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I am so glad that you enjoyed my poem. Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
Great artwork choice and colouring for this silhouette in memory! It happened to me at the same age when placed with my sister high on the back of an old cart horse Dobbin. We both tried to ride - once, and continued to aspire to the opportunity and empowerment to find confidence and aspire higher, or even enjoy seeing children or grandchildren to so.
Thanks I enjoyed the snappy, matter of fact rhyme; but most the climb to the past and back, grateful for the surprise of treasures. Joyful blessings for Christmas and the New Year, Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
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Great artwork choice and colouring for this silhouette in memory! It happened to me at the same age when placed with my sister high on the back of an old cart horse Dobbin. We both tried to ride - once, and continued to aspire to the opportunity and empowerment to find confidence and aspire higher, or even enjoy seeing children or grandchildren to so.
Thanks I enjoyed the snappy, matter of fact rhyme; but most the climb to the past and back, grateful for the surprise of treasures. Joyful blessings for Christmas and the New Year, Maureen*&*
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
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Thank you so very much for your kind review. A joyous holiday season to you also. Hoping you are in a good weather belt this winter.
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Thanks Annie, we are moving into summer, quite reasonable generally for Melbourne, but drought and fires an increasing country worry. Christmas blessings, Maureen*&*
Comment from seaglass
This is a cute poem and one that will bring memories to most readers. It follows the requirements of the contest. For me, I didn't fall but had to be retrieve by my dad with a ladder.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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This is a cute poem and one that will bring memories to most readers. It follows the requirements of the contest. For me, I didn't fall but had to be retrieve by my dad with a ladder.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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That is so cute. My sister had to be lifted down from a tree by my Dad on a ladder. So many memories from poems whether we write it or read something written by someone else. Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 'begin and end' poem, Defeated, begins with once and reminds readers of their tree climbing days. This poem also covers a myriad of deeds not conquered from youth and now forever un achieved. Go climb your tree.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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This 'begin and end' poem, Defeated, begins with once and reminds readers of their tree climbing days. This poem also covers a myriad of deeds not conquered from youth and now forever un achieved. Go climb your tree.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Believe me I have climbed many trees since. Thanks for the stars and the review. I do appreciate your time.
Comment from mvbrooks
Great pacing with phrases like "I was only two plus three..." It's playful--but also a bit sad with the phrase "so I only tried it once." Strong rhyme.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Great pacing with phrases like "I was only two plus three..." It's playful--but also a bit sad with the phrase "so I only tried it once." Strong rhyme.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your review and kind comments. I am pleased that you like my poem. Please vote.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Poet
A great entry for the contest. I love the image and presentation. I can't help smile as this brings back memories. I was a born tomboy and tree climbing one of my favourite activities. I'm trying to remember if I fell out ... perhaps not or I may have made the same decision as you have. Ambition, and humour, perhaps a wisdom that some tree climbers might adhere to. Every one can hug a tree, not everyone can climb one successfully. Your mono-rhyme works well here and the pace sings along with the essence of the small child. I love "two plus three", I always enjoy alliteration when well used - "tried/tree/three", "big/bounce" and the accompanying assonance and consonance to provide the wonderful cadence which rings like a children's rhyme song. A fun and interesting prompt and a fun and interesting poem. The children will love it I'm sure and even suitable for adults to enjoy as I did. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Hi Mystery Poet
A great entry for the contest. I love the image and presentation. I can't help smile as this brings back memories. I was a born tomboy and tree climbing one of my favourite activities. I'm trying to remember if I fell out ... perhaps not or I may have made the same decision as you have. Ambition, and humour, perhaps a wisdom that some tree climbers might adhere to. Every one can hug a tree, not everyone can climb one successfully. Your mono-rhyme works well here and the pace sings along with the essence of the small child. I love "two plus three", I always enjoy alliteration when well used - "tried/tree/three", "big/bounce" and the accompanying assonance and consonance to provide the wonderful cadence which rings like a children's rhyme song. A fun and interesting prompt and a fun and interesting poem. The children will love it I'm sure and even suitable for adults to enjoy as I did. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for reviewing my poem. I am happy that you enjoyed it.
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Good luck. L XOOX
Comment from wordspinner314
This is such a sweet poem! Your ending ("Sadly little girls don't bounce so I only tried it once.") is marvelous, really the icing on the cake. I thoroughly enjoyed this little rhyme; thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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This is such a sweet poem! Your ending ("Sadly little girls don't bounce so I only tried it once.") is marvelous, really the icing on the cake. I thoroughly enjoyed this little rhyme; thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for your review and kind comments. I am always so happy when someone likes my poetry.
Comment from BeasPeas
Good job. In just a few lines you have written a catchy, light-hearted poem that fits the chosen image perfectly. Lines have nice cadence, rhyming and flow.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Good job. In just a few lines you have written a catchy, light-hearted poem that fits the chosen image perfectly. Lines have nice cadence, rhyming and flow.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for your review and kind comments. I am always so happy when someone likes my poetry.
Comment from JourneyHolm
This was a cute poem and warning for toddlers everywhere. Nice slant rhyme in the second stanza. The line itself, though, kind of throws me off the flow. Regardless, thank you for sharing :)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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This was a cute poem and warning for toddlers everywhere. Nice slant rhyme in the second stanza. The line itself, though, kind of throws me off the flow. Regardless, thank you for sharing :)
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thanks for the suggestion. I changed that line to "Sadly little girls don't bounce" so the rhyme flows a bit better. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Have a great holiday.
Comment from patcelaw
I can relate to this as a young girl I climbed a tree with a pocket full of pebbles, my younger brother was in the tree next to my tree he too had some pebbles. We began throwing them at each other. I dodged a pebble and fell the 18 feet to the ground. I walked away without a broken bone, but I never did that again. Patricia
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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I can relate to this as a young girl I climbed a tree with a pocket full of pebbles, my younger brother was in the tree next to my tree he too had some pebbles. We began throwing them at each other. I dodged a pebble and fell the 18 feet to the ground. I walked away without a broken bone, but I never did that again. Patricia
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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What wonderful childhood memories we can capture in writing. I did fall from the tree but actually accomplished climbing it again many times. Thanks for the review. I am glad you like my poem.
