Christine's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Clock Tower secrets"Poems /stories on Fanstory
19 total reviews
Comment from pharp
Christine,
Exceptionally done my friend!!!!! You are very good at this challenge writing. This is the third one I have read today. You all are so very good at it. I enjoyed reading all the different interpretation of the artwork presented in the different poems that it is amazing. Your poem told a story, excellent rhyming and meter and a very smooth flow. Thanks for sharing my friend..................Blessings...Portia
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
  |
Christine,
Exceptionally done my friend!!!!! You are very good at this challenge writing. This is the third one I have read today. You all are so very good at it. I enjoyed reading all the different interpretation of the artwork presented in the different poems that it is amazing. Your poem told a story, excellent rhyming and meter and a very smooth flow. Thanks for sharing my friend..................Blessings...Portia
Comment Written 27-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
-
Hi Portia thanks you so much for your lovely lovely review and your Sixes . I have fun with these and so created my characters and I guess you know by now I am a bit of a traditionalist with rhyme and meter LOL . I do so enjoy your feedback and support. Cheers Christine😃
Comment from MelB
A great interpretation of the the clock tower in the Picture This Challenge. The old reliable clock could tell many stories of many different people that have passed by.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
 |
A great interpretation of the the clock tower in the Picture This Challenge. The old reliable clock could tell many stories of many different people that have passed by.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
-
Hi MelB Thanks for reading and reviewing my challenge poem .Yes the stories would be very intereresting LOL. Appreciate you suooprt Cheers Christine😃
Comment from ciliverde
Hi Christine,
Here is another lovely interpretation of our clock tower. You tell an interesting story of a clock that sees life passing by, day in, day out. What secrets that clock could tell!
I think in the last stanza, you need some commas: "Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears, the love, the plans" - I do like this line too. You feel how much life has passed by - yet all must be kept silence, for no key can unlock these secrets :)
Well done!
Carol
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
|
Hi Christine,
Here is another lovely interpretation of our clock tower. You tell an interesting story of a clock that sees life passing by, day in, day out. What secrets that clock could tell!
I think in the last stanza, you need some commas: "Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears, the love, the plans" - I do like this line too. You feel how much life has passed by - yet all must be kept silence, for no key can unlock these secrets :)
Well done!
Carol
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
-
HI Carol. Thanks for your great review and helpful suggestions I will correct this as i can see you points so thanks fror that and glad you like my take on the challenge ( fun isn't it ) Cheers Christine
Comment from Joy Graham
You have come up with a great interpretation of this picture :) When I first looked at this picture I wondered where all the people were. You have brought the people out of the woodworks and I can see them all clearly. Well done!
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
|
You have come up with a great interpretation of this picture :) When I first looked at this picture I wondered where all the people were. You have brought the people out of the woodworks and I can see them all clearly. Well done!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015
-
Hi Joy, Thank you for your lovely review and i thought I would recreate some characters to go with my interpretation of the challenge a bit different glad you could see them LOL Whta next? Cheers Christine
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Christine,
What a clever and well told poetic interpretation! I loved this!
There are two stanzas in particular which were my favorites, and one place I noted that I thought you could change one word to make it fit better, if you like it. Other than that, the rhythm and rhyme is lovely.. the story holds together beautifully! another gorgeous one by you!
Cat
Or could two lovers chance along, and stop to tell the time
Their two hearts beating now one song, in melody and rhyme.
With hand in hand their love on show, for time has now stopped still
Each tender kiss for them they know, to be in love's a thrill.
(I love this stanza!)
To seal the deal must be on time, he glances at your way ('at' seems to be an awkward word choice here... perhaps 'once' would be a better one?... makes more sense?)
Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears the love the plans
Of many years could be retold, all held now in your hands.
But you will keep them safe and sound, a key will not unlock
Your silent watch that's seen and heard, all stored within your clock.
(this stanza has a wonderful story all its own... and the last line is just so clever including the 'watch' stored within the clock. Double meaning and so lovely.
I loved it!
cat
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
|
Hello Christine,
What a clever and well told poetic interpretation! I loved this!
There are two stanzas in particular which were my favorites, and one place I noted that I thought you could change one word to make it fit better, if you like it. Other than that, the rhythm and rhyme is lovely.. the story holds together beautifully! another gorgeous one by you!
Cat
Or could two lovers chance along, and stop to tell the time
Their two hearts beating now one song, in melody and rhyme.
With hand in hand their love on show, for time has now stopped still
Each tender kiss for them they know, to be in love's a thrill.
(I love this stanza!)
To seal the deal must be on time, he glances at your way ('at' seems to be an awkward word choice here... perhaps 'once' would be a better one?... makes more sense?)
Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears the love the plans
Of many years could be retold, all held now in your hands.
But you will keep them safe and sound, a key will not unlock
Your silent watch that's seen and heard, all stored within your clock.
(this stanza has a wonderful story all its own... and the last line is just so clever including the 'watch' stored within the clock. Double meaning and so lovely.
I loved it!
cat
Comment Written 25-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
-
Cat, I am so pleased you picked up my double meaning in the last line it was exactly as I intended to end the poem with so You are very perceptive and I am thrilled with your critique and Yes once may fit better than at so I will make your suggested chamge and it will be your once LOL. I love to be included in these challenges and with such great company so I feel I am being accepted into the fold, and really am enjoying all the lovely people I have met and have learn't heaps from everyone. So I look forward to the next challenge and so appreciate your support Cheers Christine😃😃
Comment from lightink
I love how you describe the colorful and diverse crowd that are united in a strange way due to the steady presence of the clock. You say: "You show the time for all to see". I had a slightly similar thought entering this challenge: the clock shows the time to everyone, regardless gender, faith, social class. I didn't develop much this thought. You did a wonderful job though in describing all those human lives!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
|
I love how you describe the colorful and diverse crowd that are united in a strange way due to the steady presence of the clock. You say: "You show the time for all to see". I had a slightly similar thought entering this challenge: the clock shows the time to everyone, regardless gender, faith, social class. I didn't develop much this thought. You did a wonderful job though in describing all those human lives!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2015
-
Thank you lightink very much for your great feedback. I find it amazing what comes out of our brains LOL and really enjoy these challenges and am grateful for each review and encouraging wonderful comments. i am glad you liked this Cheers Christine😃
Comment from MacMhuirich
This is a wonderful addition to the 'picture this challenge. That old clock will have seen a few things through the years. Good rhyme and flow treat the reader to an easy flowing read. Thank you for sharing.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
|
This is a wonderful addition to the 'picture this challenge. That old clock will have seen a few things through the years. Good rhyme and flow treat the reader to an easy flowing read. Thank you for sharing.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
-
Hi John and thank you so much for reading my challenge post. I am glad you enjoyed my take on this image.Yes I am sure the old clock harbours many a secret. If only it could share some LOL . much appreciation for your time and comments Cheers to you Christine😃
Comment from amada
This is another great take in this "Picture This" group. Lovely the rhyming lines that tell the way the clock influences us all. My fave "You show the time for all to see, you sweep your hands around..."
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
|
This is another great take in this "Picture This" group. Lovely the rhyming lines that tell the way the clock influences us all. My fave "You show the time for all to see, you sweep your hands around..."
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
-
Thanks amada for your lovely review and your favourite lines in my challenge poem and yes the hands sweep around with each second a little more time gone A big Cheers to you Christine😃
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Chrissy. I enjoyed reading your poem for this post of Picture This. We all have such different takes on the image. These are especially good lines:
"You show the time for all to see, you sweep your hands around
For those who look there is no fee, they know where you are found"
Marilyn
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
|
Hi Chrissy. I enjoyed reading your poem for this post of Picture This. We all have such different takes on the image. These are especially good lines:
"You show the time for all to see, you sweep your hands around
For those who look there is no fee, they know where you are found"
Marilyn
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
-
Hi Marilyn. Thanks for your great review , and yes everyone has done such a good job with this image and all so different. I am glad to be in the 'Group ' such fun and lovely to see all the writers thoughts. Cheers to you Christine 😃
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears the love the plans
Of many years could be retold, all held now in your hands.
But you will keep them safe and sound, a key will not unlock
Your silent watch that's seen and heard, all stored within your clock.
the old clock could be likened to an ancient old tree standing there watching the world go by and the people
waiting - if it could only talk.
This is one of the best poems I've read yet for the picture challenge - most impressive, Chrissy, and had I a six it would be yours, but they all went by Monday.
Margaret
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
|
Oh yes what stories you must hold, the tears the love the plans
Of many years could be retold, all held now in your hands.
But you will keep them safe and sound, a key will not unlock
Your silent watch that's seen and heard, all stored within your clock.
the old clock could be likened to an ancient old tree standing there watching the world go by and the people
waiting - if it could only talk.
This is one of the best poems I've read yet for the picture challenge - most impressive, Chrissy, and had I a six it would be yours, but they all went by Monday.
Margaret
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
-
Thank you Margaret for your lovely comments for my Picture challenge. I am glad you found it up there with the best that means a lot to me .I enjoyed writing this too so your review is much appreciated Cheers Christine😃