Beloved Dad . . .
Father had more children . . .69 total reviews
Comment from Shirley B
This is a well worded poem. I felt every line. I am sure you were heart broken to find out your father had other children and grandchildren. I felt that pain. Thank you for sharing this well written emotional poem, Shirley
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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This is a well worded poem. I felt every line. I am sure you were heart broken to find out your father had other children and grandchildren. I felt that pain. Thank you for sharing this well written emotional poem, Shirley
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Shirley B (my mother's name was Shirley Janet), for reading, commenting and understanding this poem. livelylinda
Comment from misscookie
Your words touched me deeply how much you will never know.
I can relate to your pain.
Those wounds will heal in due time.
It took me years to forgive yet, I will never forget.
Cookie
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Your words touched me deeply how much you will never know.
I can relate to your pain.
Those wounds will heal in due time.
It took me years to forgive yet, I will never forget.
Cookie
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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misscookie: I thought I was near the end of those feeling, had been spitting that bile out of my mouth for years. But, one trip to the cemetery and it all washed back over me, then I went numb. Still haven't sorted it all out. Thanks for reading, commenting and understanding . . . sorry to hear a hint of your misfortune. Linda
Comment from Wabigoon
Lively--
I think you have written a poem with some power but from your note seem to have left out some information that would be necessary for the poem to be a complete experience. I am all in favor of that -- poems being the complete experience. Without extensive notes.
"You bastard!
Here are words on your tombstone saying
you were a good father to them
but abandoned me and my sister!
You bastard!
How dare they chisel these two timing words
into stone!
This is a tear so big
I cannot cry it
because it would rip my eyes open
like a woman
birthing a stillborn future!"
That's what I feel here. That sort of rage and anger, need to get it out.
Cripes, I recommend you do so...in the poem, not the note. Its birth canal is big enough for this outrage.
Here's a "spag," world's worst word:
suppose() to be a conclusion -- supposed
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Lively--
I think you have written a poem with some power but from your note seem to have left out some information that would be necessary for the poem to be a complete experience. I am all in favor of that -- poems being the complete experience. Without extensive notes.
"You bastard!
Here are words on your tombstone saying
you were a good father to them
but abandoned me and my sister!
You bastard!
How dare they chisel these two timing words
into stone!
This is a tear so big
I cannot cry it
because it would rip my eyes open
like a woman
birthing a stillborn future!"
That's what I feel here. That sort of rage and anger, need to get it out.
Cripes, I recommend you do so...in the poem, not the note. Its birth canal is big enough for this outrage.
Here's a "spag," world's worst word:
suppose() to be a conclusion -- supposed
Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thanks for reading. livelylinda
Comment from robyn corum
Oh, Linda! I find that soooo hard to believe. You know they say a leopard doesn't change his stripes. Perhaps the family wrote that for propriety's sake...?
Bless your sweet heart!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Oh, Linda! I find that soooo hard to believe. You know they say a leopard doesn't change his stripes. Perhaps the family wrote that for propriety's sake...?
Bless your sweet heart!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thanks for reading, Robyn, and commenting. Linda
Comment from heyjude
Linda, What an emotional poem and how difficult this
must be for you. People are hard to understand..
especially a father who doesn't come around or try to
communicate. This poem does a good job of relaying
your hurt.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Linda, What an emotional poem and how difficult this
must be for you. People are hard to understand..
especially a father who doesn't come around or try to
communicate. This poem does a good job of relaying
your hurt.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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heyjude: thank you so much for reading and commenting. livelyinda
Comment from jlsavell
Dear Linda,
Such an emotive work. Ironically, our lives parallel.
My Father, too, deserted his family when I was only 2. He remarried and had another child. I never heard from him once until my maternal Grandmother was dying and he showed up at the hospital. I would have had no idea who he was except he looked just like my brother. At that time, he tried to establish some kind of relationship and I have to say I honestly tried, but there was nothing there. Many things transpired in the time frame of trying to establish some form of relationship with him, but it only proved he hadn't changed. There is a term in psychology called detachment disorder. Perhaps both of our Fathers suffered from such, who knows. When he passed, I grieved, but not for the man nor the Father, but for the loss of never was. So, I greatly empathize with you. I often, or had often wondered was I that unlovable? There is one thing I can say about my ex, he is a Viet Nam vet, who battled severe demons from alcohol to drugs, but he loved his kids. They and his grandchildren are the breath of his life, as they are mine.
Your friend, number uno, truly is a good friend to you, as she is to many who know her.
I bid you good day and do hope you have found closure and acceptance from the loss of never was. My heart goes out to you. Beautiful work.
jlsavell
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Dear Linda,
Such an emotive work. Ironically, our lives parallel.
My Father, too, deserted his family when I was only 2. He remarried and had another child. I never heard from him once until my maternal Grandmother was dying and he showed up at the hospital. I would have had no idea who he was except he looked just like my brother. At that time, he tried to establish some kind of relationship and I have to say I honestly tried, but there was nothing there. Many things transpired in the time frame of trying to establish some form of relationship with him, but it only proved he hadn't changed. There is a term in psychology called detachment disorder. Perhaps both of our Fathers suffered from such, who knows. When he passed, I grieved, but not for the man nor the Father, but for the loss of never was. So, I greatly empathize with you. I often, or had often wondered was I that unlovable? There is one thing I can say about my ex, he is a Viet Nam vet, who battled severe demons from alcohol to drugs, but he loved his kids. They and his grandchildren are the breath of his life, as they are mine.
Your friend, number uno, truly is a good friend to you, as she is to many who know her.
I bid you good day and do hope you have found closure and acceptance from the loss of never was. My heart goes out to you. Beautiful work.
jlsavell
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts and experiences with me. And, no, I haven't moved on nor found any closure. It reopened the wound, "What is it about me that he didn't like?" It's like starting all over. And, now, I have to investigate to find my step-siblings. This has left me stunned. And all that nastiness settles in my guts. But, once again, I will survive. Linda
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a poignant poem made even more so that it is a true story. I have a friend who discovered his sister was his mother a few years ago. His 'mother' was actually his grandmother. Why the deception was never explained. Your poem is a gut-punch to be sure. There may be a positive in having family though. Happy day.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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This is a poignant poem made even more so that it is a true story. I have a friend who discovered his sister was his mother a few years ago. His 'mother' was actually his grandmother. Why the deception was never explained. Your poem is a gut-punch to be sure. There may be a positive in having family though. Happy day.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you , Bill, for reading and commenting. livelylinda
Comment from Muffins
I personally believe people who abandon their children are cowards. And, to have more children as those the ones you had earlier never existed is mean and lazy.
The narrators pain leaks out of to many holes to close. And, with death the agony, the questions will never be addressed. Wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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I personally believe people who abandon their children are cowards. And, to have more children as those the ones you had earlier never existed is mean and lazy.
The narrators pain leaks out of to many holes to close. And, with death the agony, the questions will never be addressed. Wonderful poem.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Muffins: thank you for reading and commenting. livelylinda
Comment from Neonewman
Strange is the world of man! Who knows what we really think. Myself, I never had children. I married for a brief time but found I was not the type to be re-directed. That was 30 years ago! I have been single ever since. In my heart I feel its not fair to the other party in I have a slight issue with compromise. I have never understood how anyone could make a wonderful little baby and then just think EH! Let someone else do the job! I am sorry for the lack of closure this has brought forth in your life. I feel you are a wonderful young lady whom any parent would love.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Strange is the world of man! Who knows what we really think. Myself, I never had children. I married for a brief time but found I was not the type to be re-directed. That was 30 years ago! I have been single ever since. In my heart I feel its not fair to the other party in I have a slight issue with compromise. I have never understood how anyone could make a wonderful little baby and then just think EH! Let someone else do the job! I am sorry for the lack of closure this has brought forth in your life. I feel you are a wonderful young lady whom any parent would love.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Steve. livelyinda
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My pleasure young lady!
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My pleasure young lady!
Comment from ellie6
What a shocking revelation, and a confusing end to your search. It obviously throws up more questions. You survived, and it's that fact that must sustain you. Maybe, without this trauma, your poetry and writing would not be so powerful.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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What a shocking revelation, and a confusing end to your search. It obviously throws up more questions. You survived, and it's that fact that must sustain you. Maybe, without this trauma, your poetry and writing would not be so powerful.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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ellie6: thank you so much for reading and commenting and understanding. livelylinda