Life Never Ends
I believe in Life Before, During and After this time around.58 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Your faith, enthusiasm and fearlessness is conveyed so beautifully in this essay. I especially loved the scene in the hospital with your mother. She seemed a very loving and wise woman. I can sense much of her in you.
Here are a few considerations:
but his essence is immortal in my character and in the joy I will experience [I read this sentence through several times and I can't figure out what you meant by "character". If you mean what I think you mean, wouldn't it be clearer with "immortal IN WHAT HELPED shape my character? Just a thought, unless you meant something entirely different.
She told me what it would be like when she was gone, expressed her thankfulness at having had thirteen years as my earthly mom, prepared me for the teenage angst she knew was coming and filled me with enough love to last a life time. [This is a VERY long sentence that, in my opinion, would improve greatly by cutting them into at least two sentences. This is just an example: "She told me what it would be like when she was gone, and expressed her thankfulness at having had thirteen years as my earthly mom. She prepared me for the teenage angst she knew was coming, and filled me with enough love to last a life time."]
'being there when I need her' and she's never let down. [...never let ME? Down]
I hear that small, still voice leading me to through every valley. [... leading me through ? every valley. >> I don't understand why you have a "to" before "through".]
Great job on an honest and lovely post.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2015
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Your faith, enthusiasm and fearlessness is conveyed so beautifully in this essay. I especially loved the scene in the hospital with your mother. She seemed a very loving and wise woman. I can sense much of her in you.
Here are a few considerations:
but his essence is immortal in my character and in the joy I will experience [I read this sentence through several times and I can't figure out what you meant by "character". If you mean what I think you mean, wouldn't it be clearer with "immortal IN WHAT HELPED shape my character? Just a thought, unless you meant something entirely different.
She told me what it would be like when she was gone, expressed her thankfulness at having had thirteen years as my earthly mom, prepared me for the teenage angst she knew was coming and filled me with enough love to last a life time. [This is a VERY long sentence that, in my opinion, would improve greatly by cutting them into at least two sentences. This is just an example: "She told me what it would be like when she was gone, and expressed her thankfulness at having had thirteen years as my earthly mom. She prepared me for the teenage angst she knew was coming, and filled me with enough love to last a life time."]
'being there when I need her' and she's never let down. [...never let ME? Down]
I hear that small, still voice leading me to through every valley. [... leading me through ? every valley. >> I don't understand why you have a "to" before "through".]
Great job on an honest and lovely post.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2015
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Excuse me while I go improve my essay based on your comments! Thanks so very, very much for the specific and constructive criticism. Have a great day!
Comment from c_lucas
In reality, Death helps us to change from the physical to the metaphysical and helps us find the answers we seek. This is very well written with a smooth flow of word.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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In reality, Death helps us to change from the physical to the metaphysical and helps us find the answers we seek. This is very well written with a smooth flow of word.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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Thanks so much for your time in reading and in sharing your comments.
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You're welcome
Comment from Zue65
I love your essay, it reminded me of the three deaths that have occurred in the family too, my father, my mother and my eldest brother who happens to be closest to me. I like the way you presented your brush with death and how you are no longer afraid of death. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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I love your essay, it reminded me of the three deaths that have occurred in the family too, my father, my mother and my eldest brother who happens to be closest to me. I like the way you presented your brush with death and how you are no longer afraid of death. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from ericawrites
This story made the hairs stand on the back of my neck. I love it so much and can identify with the sentiments expressed therein.
I believe in the afterlife an that those who have gone before, are never far away from us in spirit.
Well done, thank you for sharing this uplifting piece.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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This story made the hairs stand on the back of my neck. I love it so much and can identify with the sentiments expressed therein.
I believe in the afterlife an that those who have gone before, are never far away from us in spirit.
Well done, thank you for sharing this uplifting piece.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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6 stars makes the hairs on my neck stand!!!! Thanks so much. I appreciate your time in reading and kind comments. I appreciate.
Comment from wordspinner314
The way you expressed your feelings about life, death, and what comes next was absolutely beautiful! You built your story with layer upon layer of emotion and powerful, relevant content. At first, I was confused as to why you continued mentioning your uncle, and then you rocked the story with his suicide and it all made sense. You hauntingly tied in his suicide to the place where he gave you the doll, which broke my heart. And then you talked of your mother's death and, oh! Yet, you never came off broken by either. Your story remained positive and uplifting, sifting through the pieces of tragedy to find the good. What an amazing person you must be! I think this story is a very strong contender in the contest--you will definitely have my vote!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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The way you expressed your feelings about life, death, and what comes next was absolutely beautiful! You built your story with layer upon layer of emotion and powerful, relevant content. At first, I was confused as to why you continued mentioning your uncle, and then you rocked the story with his suicide and it all made sense. You hauntingly tied in his suicide to the place where he gave you the doll, which broke my heart. And then you talked of your mother's death and, oh! Yet, you never came off broken by either. Your story remained positive and uplifting, sifting through the pieces of tragedy to find the good. What an amazing person you must be! I think this story is a very strong contender in the contest--you will definitely have my vote!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for the in-depth review and THE 6 STARS! Your review gives me the sort of feedback I need to improve. I appreciate your time in reading and kind comments.
Comment from ajpread
A beautiful gift to anyone that reads your piece. The stories that you shared are very touching and your message is extremely comforting. I thank you.
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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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A beautiful gift to anyone that reads your piece. The stories that you shared are very touching and your message is extremely comforting. I thank you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate your words and your time.
Comment from Leineco
This is both wonderfully written and clear explanation of what and why you believe death represents. Your anecdotes were literally spine-tingling to read. And the picture you have attached is the perfect accompaniment.
I am blown way by the skill you have employed here - as well as the unquestionable authenticity of your argument!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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This is both wonderfully written and clear explanation of what and why you believe death represents. Your anecdotes were literally spine-tingling to read. And the picture you have attached is the perfect accompaniment.
I am blown way by the skill you have employed here - as well as the unquestionable authenticity of your argument!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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WOW!! Six Stars. Thanks so much for reading and for your kind comments. I am honored that you heard what I was trying to say.
Comment from frogbook
This was very touching and very wise. What a great outlook you have. I'm glad you shared your story with us and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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This was very touching and very wise. What a great outlook you have. I'm glad you shared your story with us and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2015
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate you.
