Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Loophole"All chapters
3 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
I don't know whats' happening, Marv. I'm starting to understand this. I like the story line. It's moving well. I know your character isn't gay, bi, did you try for trisexual?
Good Job.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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I don't know whats' happening, Marv. I'm starting to understand this. I like the story line. It's moving well. I know your character isn't gay, bi, did you try for trisexual?
Good Job.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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Jay
I fear to speculate on why you don't know what's happening or why you're starting to understand this (story). I'm glad you like the story line. All the positives you've crammed into your review are great to read.
I had a trisexual when I was little but the tires were thin due to the war effort.
Thanks for hanging in there and for the stars.
Marv
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an interesting segment to your story. Clearly and simply written for the reader to understand as there are several characters to keep track of. All of the characters revolve around Russ and his efforts to put together a script. In the meantime, keeping the quips flowing and entertaining. Marilyn
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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This is an interesting segment to your story. Clearly and simply written for the reader to understand as there are several characters to keep track of. All of the characters revolve around Russ and his efforts to put together a script. In the meantime, keeping the quips flowing and entertaining. Marilyn
Comment Written 20-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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Marilyn
I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I thought these explanations were necessary for the reader and me. It reintroduced Marty, clarified some things and will help when the characters reemerge. Thanks for sticking with me and for the stars.
Marv
Comment from mfowler
You had me flipping back and forth like a ping pong game in this trying to figure out who was talking about who. It's my issue as I don't know the characters and once I worked it out, the dialogue carries the story well. In fact, I'm a fan of untagged dialogue to show a narrative. This is fun, full of mischief and misnomers. Yolanda seems to be a stirrer and the boys cop the back wash of her commentary. Well written and amusing.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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You had me flipping back and forth like a ping pong game in this trying to figure out who was talking about who. It's my issue as I don't know the characters and once I worked it out, the dialogue carries the story well. In fact, I'm a fan of untagged dialogue to show a narrative. This is fun, full of mischief and misnomers. Yolanda seems to be a stirrer and the boys cop the back wash of her commentary. Well written and amusing.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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I appreciate your review. I was unsure whether to include this chapter and how far to go with it. Thanks to you, I'm happy.
I enjoy ping pong. I try to satisfy those who like more tags. As a writer, I lean toward a minimum of tags; as a reader, I find myself rereading to make sure I understand what I just read. Thanks for the stars.
More later, if you don't mind.
Marv.
