Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

Fantastic and unusual... creative and unique, moving and clever. I enjoyed the word play and I enjoyed the unusual and fun rhyming without a sing-song meter. Very, very enjoyable. It made me want to see what else you've written.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015

Thanks so much MissMerri for this great review. I'm so glad you found the poem interesting and creative I enjoyed the word play creating it and it even made me read it more than one time to get the different senses of it. Please do stop by and see what else I wrote. Many are very short poems also.

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Leslie. Sorry I haven't reviewed your poetry sooner my friend but I am unable to connect to the internet for about 23 hours per day, but hopefully soon it will be all good.

I like this well written and thought out free verse piece. I wish I could write them as good as this one (mine are terrible.) It's a fabulous contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015

Thank you, Fez I really appreciate the nice comments. This balances out the 3 star review I just got from someone who has only posted 2 poems. It was not on this one but another that I liked a lot. So coming from such a good poet as you it means allot.

reply by Walu Feral on 14-Oct-2015

Thanks Leslie. Some people have no idea what they are doing or talking about....try not to let them bother you. If they bother me too much I just mute them unless the low rating in warranted, which they most often are not. Hang in there mate.

reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015

Thanks for the encouragement and support.

Comment from robyn corum

Good

Interesting! I'm trying to interpret (dumb me - I often have a hard time with free verse - the poets are often waaayyy over my silly head!)

Let's see how close I come:

1.) 'Your words won't pay the rent, But Heaven sent. Instant gratification.'
--> here, I THINK you speak of the immediate delight when you receive (positive!) reviews --?

2.) 'Synergy, The poetic mind of you and me. Not I but we!'
--> I'm thinking you're talking about that lovely meeting - where the writer and the reader join together to make one thing from the whole. Where the reader + the writer join?

**IF I am correct - then I liked the message behind this piece - and if I'm wrong - I still liked the message I came up with! hahahahaha

3.) I did NOT understand the reasoning behind some of your words being hyphenated. This confused me greatly - Which doesn't take much, I'll admit. These are the words in particular that I questioned:

--> No bull shit *st-inks* the page
--> *K-night's* desire
--> Sweet fragrance of red roses *s-c-ent*

The others that were hyphenated, it seemed, were to help us read the poem as you intended, I thought.

Thanks for sharing!



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thanks Robyn, I very much enjoyed reading your review and comments. I admit this poem is a stretch for some (many?) because of the hyphenated words. I did that to show two meanings or emphasis and they can be read two ways. I'll explain below. As for your interpretations;
1. Not reviews but poetry. from (your words..)
2. Actually the joining of me and the writing partner (poet) and now lover.
3. a. No Bull shit st-inks the page - referring to negative hostile comments in reviews - the hyphen emphasizes inks in writing with a pen
b. K-nights desire as in Knight my knight in shinning armor and night - as in night's desire
c. s-c-ent as in scent (fragrance) and sent (roses sent).

I hope this helps! Thank you or thaking the time to read critically and ask questions, instead of just blowing it off.
I have trouble with some (at first allot) of the free verse, one or two poets in particular. It was always a struggle for me to write a review and understanding it. One time recently I was stumped- just could not do it - decided to skip the poem - way to obscure for me. I left it overnight but then came back to it because I needed some member dollars to post and I discovered I could at least write a relevant review after I had let it percolate (and I had read some of the others reviews the night before. I finally sort of got it. Again, I enjoyed your review and don't feel bad - people get different things sometimes from what the poet intended.

Comment from OnyxSapphire78

Excellent

This poem expresses the poetic mind in an exciting way, grabbing the reader into this romantic journey of our love affair with words. How beautiful!

Words jump the page
To life's stage.
I love this line.

Great entry and good luck on the contest. Happy writing!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thank you for this great review and you picked my favorite 2 lines also.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Leslie, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, So beautifully constructed with good use of metaphors and description, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thank you Eric for the excellent review and good wishes.

reply by Eric1 on 14-Oct-2015

You are very welcome my friend.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello :)

Interesting poem about synergy and the partnership between poet and reader. The rhyme is solid and the poem has a nice beat. Good job!
gypsy

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thank you Gypsy Blue Rose.

Comment from lightink

Exceptional

So perfectly expressive of the dark side and the uplifting heavenly side of this (and any other) art community! Fantastic and passionate writing, Dear Leslie! You played so much with the words, the different meanings to support the "light", the mutual care and the shared passion! Lovers of poetry unite! Wow! I love it!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thanks, lightink - I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the 6 star review. It's the best when lovers of poetry unite, whether lovers or friends. Ironically, the poem has not been too popular - it received very few reviews on page 2 and now even after I moved it up to page 1.I think the title Synergy is too obscure for many, although I thought the picture was great and would attract people.. I knew you would "get it." Thanks for reviewing and being a friend.

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Love the structure and the word 'Synergy' Poetry won't make you rich, but that peace of mind is worth a lot more. Nice rhythm and rhyming. Reads well read aloud. Awesome! Les

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015

Thanks Glasstruth for the excellent review.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

I usually see this word when reading about Cosmic Energy. Your poem is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2015

Well this is people energy! Thanks for the excellent review and good luck wishes.

reply by c_lucas on 12-Oct-2015

You're welcome.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Yeah, Lesli... now this one I get!
What a powerful truth you've penned here. "Not I but we!"...pretty much sums it up beautifully. After all, when you are involved in a relationship--be it a marriage, a monogamous relationship, or just great friends with someone--there simply is no "I" in "Team." At least not if you want the relationship to work. Leave selfishness at the door. Check you coat in with the hatgirl in the lobby...

Excellent free verse, very unique. Strong word choices and the occasional rhyming make for a very good read.

Great work with this one, Leslie. I wish you all the best in the booths.

~Dean :}

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2015

Thanks, Dean for reading and your own unique take on it. I enjoy your comments - "No I in team ... leaveselfishness at the door Check your coat with the hat girl in the lobby." so true. I have had a relationship with a friend I've known for 16 years and often go to summer concert series with, and the last years she has on 3 occasions thrown selfish anger fits in public on the way to going to the concerts together, ruining the experience for me. It has made me rethink the friendship and told her I was thinking of not going with her anymore. I got an apology finally on the way home promising she wouldn't do it again but she did. I know she's under some stress but no excuse for taking it out on someone else. She has a problem with blaming others, judgment, not taking responsibility and controlling her temper. It has strained the relationship after I told her if she continues to act that way, verbally attacking instead of being supportive I cannot be her friend. I hope it all straightens out because it would be a shame to loose along standing friendship over selfishness and not caring how behavior affects someone else. Sorry for the rant but your comments struck a cord with me - so right on! Thanks again for reviewing andnice comments.

reply by Dean Kuch on 12-Oct-2015

Not at all, Leslie. Rant away, I don't mind at all. My unconventional way of looking at things always has a similar effect on most I review, LOL.
I do try very hard to get into the mind of the author I'm reviewing based upon the words they are conveying. For me, immersing myself completely in the narrative allows me to see things that others sometimes miss.

In any event, you're right. It's not pleasing being around someone who bellyaches and groans constantly. Hopefully your friend will eventually see the err of her ways before it is too late.

Respectfully
~Dean :}