haiku (lush red tomato)
haiku contest10 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a very good entry into this particular contest. I like the tomato dangling from the withered stem I wish you the very best of luck in the contest. Mary
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2015
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This is a very good entry into this particular contest. I like the tomato dangling from the withered stem I wish you the very best of luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 02-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Mary.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi, The lushness over a slow growing tomato or the speed of a dried pumpkin. Hmm..I didn't quite get the punchline..Cheers.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Hi, The lushness over a slow growing tomato or the speed of a dried pumpkin. Hmm..I didn't quite get the punchline..Cheers.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Sorry, but the tomato is about to drop from the "withered stem" which means the season is changing?? Therefore the pumpkin, which a Fall fruit in the United States "grows fat". Therefore, it is a circle of life. Sorry you didn't "get" it. I feel you do not have a real grasp of the prompt or haiku
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Hi Val, this is Ben.Sorry for my late counter review...I changed your rating back to five...You're correct, I didn't understand the gravity of your poem, but thanks to your feedback, I have a whole new perspective and yes, it is now very clear. Take care and cheers.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Nice haiku for the contest competition. Good job with the syllable count. I don't understand why your satori is about a pumpkin if your haiku is about a tomato. Well done over all.
gypsy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Hello :)
Nice haiku for the contest competition. Good job with the syllable count. I don't understand why your satori is about a pumpkin if your haiku is about a tomato. Well done over all.
gypsy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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The tomato is dying (about to drop off the vine) and autumn is approaching, therefore the pumpkin is thriving. It's a continuation of the growing cycle. None the less, thank you for the excellent review
Comment from Domino 2
This is a clever thought-provoker, 'V'.
Your imagery of the tomato and stem is very vivid, and I like the connection with the pumpkin (similar round shape) that I guess you infers ripens as the tomato plant withers, to imply a continuation at different times in nature's growth.
Excellent.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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This is a clever thought-provoker, 'V'.
Your imagery of the tomato and stem is very vivid, and I like the connection with the pumpkin (similar round shape) that I guess you infers ripens as the tomato plant withers, to imply a continuation at different times in nature's growth.
Excellent.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Exactly, what I meant my friend. One goes another one lives, and the cycle of life continues. You would not believe how many don't get this simple truth. Thank you for taking the time to review.
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I wouldn't be surprised at all, 'V', and I often find it very frustrating when reviewers either don't bother, or have the wherewithal to understand a little subtlety.
Cheers, Ray xx
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I just voted for yours which takes you into the lead!
Ray xx
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Oh, You didn't have to do that, but hugs and appreciation. I know you know who I am!!!
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So true Ray so true. We have to laugh about this or we'll cry. Hugs
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I DO know who you are. :-)
Absolutely to your comment! LOL...SOB. :-) xx
Comment from barkingdog
I can tell that this takes place in the fall with the last tomato on the vine and the fat pumpkin.
I like the movement verbs( dangles; grows) and the highly descriptive adjectives(lush red; withered)
A fat pumpkin seems so jolly. He seems to smile.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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I can tell that this takes place in the fall with the last tomato on the vine and the fat pumpkin.
I like the movement verbs( dangles; grows) and the highly descriptive adjectives(lush red; withered)
A fat pumpkin seems so jolly. He seems to smile.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Thank you for your well written review, as they are so few these days.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Mystery author, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, wonderful description of the end of one thing and the beginning of another, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Hi Mystery author, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, wonderful description of the end of one thing and the beginning of another, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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I'm so glad you liked it Eric, thank you so much for the review.
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from donette1914
very nice and i can picture this lush red tomato on a withered stem as it grows fast. very creative and a well penned poem. i hope you do well in the contest and it was a pleasure to read your work
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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very nice and i can picture this lush red tomato on a withered stem as it grows fast. very creative and a well penned poem. i hope you do well in the contest and it was a pleasure to read your work
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from TAB_that's me
This has a good seasonal reference, great imagery and a fun satori. I thought I had a volunteer cucumber plant in my garden but it turned out to be cantaloupe. It was delicious.
Teresa
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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This has a good seasonal reference, great imagery and a fun satori. I thought I had a volunteer cucumber plant in my garden but it turned out to be cantaloupe. It was delicious.
Teresa
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thank you, for such a fun review!
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
You use excellent concrete imagery in this haiku. The lush, red, ripe tomato dangling from the stem and the thriving pumpkin make the autumn season obvious. I like that you deal with just the one tomato and one pumpkin. I think this intensifies the "haiku moment." Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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You use excellent concrete imagery in this haiku. The lush, red, ripe tomato dangling from the stem and the thriving pumpkin make the autumn season obvious. I like that you deal with just the one tomato and one pumpkin. I think this intensifies the "haiku moment." Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thanks a lot Jeanie, and to be honest I feel it's one of the few that really follow the prompt. You asked for concrete and I gave it to you, but there is a great deal of "fluff" in this contest. You know who I am so I won't go into it.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An interesting topic and presentation for the contest.
-The format is good.
-The first line is a good image.
-Good connection between lines one and two.
-Effective verb choice and description in line two.
-We expect the whole poem to be about a tomato.
-However, you fool us with your satori, and include the aha moment with pumpkins!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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-An interesting topic and presentation for the contest.
-The format is good.
-The first line is a good image.
-Good connection between lines one and two.
-Effective verb choice and description in line two.
-We expect the whole poem to be about a tomato.
-However, you fool us with your satori, and include the aha moment with pumpkins!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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thank you for the wonderful review. they are so rare on this site.
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You are welcome for the review.