Death in Custody
Aboriginal man dies in jail cell.15 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Kay
An excellent entry for the contest. Such a horror that the white society treated aboriginals in this manner. Though this sort of person would probably be cruel in his interaction with anyone, law courts and those who should have known better let him get away unpunished for his crime. This is one of many crimes against the aboriginal people, many more souls than Jimmy Wahroonga's are at unrest. To add insult to injury, his brother is sent to prison for reacting to the injustice.
Only eighteen years old, a terrible tragedy, especially for Grandma. I think your story is one that must be told, to remind us, just as we memorialise our military, to take stock and make improvement in societies full of corruption, injustice and prejudice.
Your story is well penned, your talent evident as you relay this true event. I wish you the very best in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
  |
Hi Kay
An excellent entry for the contest. Such a horror that the white society treated aboriginals in this manner. Though this sort of person would probably be cruel in his interaction with anyone, law courts and those who should have known better let him get away unpunished for his crime. This is one of many crimes against the aboriginal people, many more souls than Jimmy Wahroonga's are at unrest. To add insult to injury, his brother is sent to prison for reacting to the injustice.
Only eighteen years old, a terrible tragedy, especially for Grandma. I think your story is one that must be told, to remind us, just as we memorialise our military, to take stock and make improvement in societies full of corruption, injustice and prejudice.
Your story is well penned, your talent evident as you relay this true event. I wish you the very best in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
-
G'day down there, We won the footie! Thanks so much for your in-depth review. I appreciate it more coming from an Aussie. Lots of hugs, Kay XX
-
Yeah! Yeah! Go on .... rave on! Oh well ... begrudging congratulations!! Up the Cowboys?
A story that should be told ... though sad there are so many. I think you're writing is good enough to get published ... do you send any stories out Kay? I hope you're well, sorry I haven't been in communicado so much ... Ive been digging a deep hole. I do think of you and my friends when I come up for air. :)))
-
Lovi, I just won second place with "Write about this." They post the results on Facebook, I don't know why? Anyway, no, I don't send any stories out. That big hole is no good for you. Depression is a hard stone to carry. If that is what it is. Love, Kay.
-
Congratulations!!!! I knew you'd be up there. They did publish it on the 'flashing' front page. I just saw it. You wrote a great story. Thanks for letting me know, you must be excited ... it's difficult to compete with so many good writers these days. I often miss finding out the winners when posted on the Facebook page. At least in the voting booths I can go and check. Did I tell you about the black hole? Sorry must have spilled out. You got it in one. I've been to the brink and back. At least I can say I'm coming back. Thanks for thinking of my dear friend. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
-
I am part of Mental Health group and am aware of the troubles of the people. Still, we go out and about. I went fishing last week. They are a kind group of people that just need an ear to listen, like you babe.
Comment from mermaids
Your story reminds me of how Native Americans were treated in this country and the problems they have with alcohol. Your words give a voice to Jimmy, he is not alone. I suspect many Aborigines suffered many injustices similar to his story. Someday his spirit will rest when justice is served.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
 |
Your story reminds me of how Native Americans were treated in this country and the problems they have with alcohol. Your words give a voice to Jimmy, he is not alone. I suspect many Aborigines suffered many injustices similar to his story. Someday his spirit will rest when justice is served.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015
-
Thanks so much for your kind review; we have "Sorry Day" in May. I think it is a load of rubbish. One day the original owners of this country will lead. Bless you, Kay. XX
Comment from Alan K Pease
You wrote the perfect story for this contest. I hope you win for the descriptive energies you put into this write are as usual very sound and thought provoking. Good luck and Best wishes - love Alan
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
|
You wrote the perfect story for this contest. I hope you win for the descriptive energies you put into this write are as usual very sound and thought provoking. Good luck and Best wishes - love Alan
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
-
Hello Possum, Thank you for reading, your review is thoughtful and well accepted. Love, Kay.
Comment from Writingfundimension
This fascinating, but sad, story is a great subject for the contest. Young people today think that minorities shouldn't hold grudges because the past is the past, but it's hard when you've lived with such blatant prejudice. I hope that the boy's spirit made it across the divide.
Good luck, Kay.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
|
This fascinating, but sad, story is a great subject for the contest. Young people today think that minorities shouldn't hold grudges because the past is the past, but it's hard when you've lived with such blatant prejudice. I hope that the boy's spirit made it across the divide.
Good luck, Kay.
:) Bev
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
-
Hi Bev, Thanks for reading and understanding. We have a National Sorry Day for all the aboriginals that suffered when taken from their families. Fat lot of good that does! Maybe it eases the Politicians conscious? We are the original owners of the land and now most live on welfare Grrr. Love, Kay XX
-
It's a bad situation that, I think, a lot of people just feel has no relevance to their lives today. But we are all involved in this injustice, and we will also all pay the price.
You're very welcome, Kay, as always.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Nosha17
It's horrible when injustices happen, the only ones punished were the innocent. Very interesting story, Kay. It is good to have a written account of this, all part of history. Couple of things, Para 7 and 26, Brookes was. Para 22, gavel, last Para when whites. Most enjoyable read, Kay. faye
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
It's horrible when injustices happen, the only ones punished were the innocent. Very interesting story, Kay. It is good to have a written account of this, all part of history. Couple of things, Para 7 and 26, Brookes was. Para 22, gavel, last Para when whites. Most enjoyable read, Kay. faye
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Thanks so much Faye. Thanks for editing. Love, Kay.
Comment from Eigle Rull
This is a well written, but very sad story, my friend. I think it's cool that the tribesmen tore down the jail. It is a shame that justice was bypassed and the wrong person was put in jail afterwards. That's the way governments seem to work - for themselves more than for right or justice. Best wishes to you, my friend.
Always with respect,
I'll be seeing a doctor tomorrow that is supposed to explain how to use Insulin. It should be interesting.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
This is a well written, but very sad story, my friend. I think it's cool that the tribesmen tore down the jail. It is a shame that justice was bypassed and the wrong person was put in jail afterwards. That's the way governments seem to work - for themselves more than for right or justice. Best wishes to you, my friend.
Always with respect,
I'll be seeing a doctor tomorrow that is supposed to explain how to use Insulin. It should be interesting.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Hello Eigle, Thanks so much for reading. Administrating insulin by injection is easy my friend. Love, Kay.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
But a little bit of good comes from everything bad. Things got better for the people of the Island. The same things happened to the blacks in America and the Indians. Mans inhumanity to man. It is always there always and especially among different races. Good job Kay. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
But a little bit of good comes from everything bad. Things got better for the people of the Island. The same things happened to the blacks in America and the Indians. Mans inhumanity to man. It is always there always and especially among different races. Good job Kay. Nancy
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Thanks so much Nancy. It does nothing to make up for the whites stealing lands that don't belong to them. Some of our tribal lands have been handed back. Love, Kay.
Comment from Sasha
What a sad and tragic story and all too familiar. I will never understand the lack of compassion of some people that see a particular group as 'below them' and deserving of cruelty. Great descriptions and terrific dialogue too. Excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
What a sad and tragic story and all too familiar. I will never understand the lack of compassion of some people that see a particular group as 'below them' and deserving of cruelty. Great descriptions and terrific dialogue too. Excellent entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Thank you my friend. White supremacy has always taken from others that can't fight back. Some of our tribal lands have been given back to the owners. Love, Kay.
Comment from sibhus
A well written story that makes for an excellent entry to the contest. An interesting story about imperialistic domination of the native people. You've done a great job of laying out the facts and creating a well detailed story. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
A well written story that makes for an excellent entry to the contest. An interesting story about imperialistic domination of the native people. You've done a great job of laying out the facts and creating a well detailed story. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Hello sibhus. Thanks so much for reading and your comments. Cheers, Kay.
Comment from humpwhistle
I like the mystical element of this story. And the empathy for the natives--treated so unfairly on every continent.
I wish you much luck in the contest.
Peace, Lee
mourning the death of her grandson, tears trickled down her much lined face.--Grammatically speaking, this is not a proper tag. If you added something like 'She said' to the beginning, it would be. Hey, I don't make the rules.
Anger and outrage --anger and outrage are so similar, I suggest you add a modifier, like, anger and 'racial' outrage...
Sledge hammers were used to break the Police Station down--'were used' is passive voice. Would it be more dynamic to say something like, "Sledge hammers pummeled the Police Station to dust."?
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
|
I like the mystical element of this story. And the empathy for the natives--treated so unfairly on every continent.
I wish you much luck in the contest.
Peace, Lee
mourning the death of her grandson, tears trickled down her much lined face.--Grammatically speaking, this is not a proper tag. If you added something like 'She said' to the beginning, it would be. Hey, I don't make the rules.
Anger and outrage --anger and outrage are so similar, I suggest you add a modifier, like, anger and 'racial' outrage...
Sledge hammers were used to break the Police Station down--'were used' is passive voice. Would it be more dynamic to say something like, "Sledge hammers pummeled the Police Station to dust."?
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
-
Wow! First time you have read my humble writing. Thanks so much for reading and your suggestions; will look at it again. Cheers, Kay.