Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 81 "Gathering Seashells"My book of poems and stories
19 total reviews
Comment from Colette Breeze.
Hello poet,
thanks for the warning.The rhymes are quite good .Have you ever tried the pippy twist?In Australia, it is fun to just stay in the shallows and then
twist your feet from left to right.That way the pale rounded smooth pippy shells come up to the surface and you can catch them!They taste great as a little nibble on the bar-be-que.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Hello poet,
thanks for the warning.The rhymes are quite good .Have you ever tried the pippy twist?In Australia, it is fun to just stay in the shallows and then
twist your feet from left to right.That way the pale rounded smooth pippy shells come up to the surface and you can catch them!They taste great as a little nibble on the bar-be-que.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Unfortunately I have never been to Australia so have never collected pippy shells. The ones I was writing about are found in the tropics and I was warned about them when I was shelling in Guam. Since you are rating my work as 2 stars and needs improvement would you please point out where you see that it could be improved. I would very much appreciate the input for the learning experience.
Comment from royowen
Are they North American sea shells AnnieDawn, or can the be found anywhere? Nice qua lying entry in this Minute contest. A much different subject to the ones I've seen before in this contest!. The wording is great, articulate with great rhyming, great communication in the narrative, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Are they North American sea shells AnnieDawn, or can the be found anywhere? Nice qua lying entry in this Minute contest. A much different subject to the ones I've seen before in this contest!. The wording is great, articulate with great rhyming, great communication in the narrative, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reviewing my poem and for your kind comments. In answer to your question...no, the poisonous ones are usually in the tropics and one wears some kind of water shoe when shelling and walking in the water.
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Thank you and well done,
Comment from poetadeu
I like this piece as it has a taste of the
beach in the tropical account of water
bringing in seashells from the tropics.
Never heard of poisonous creatures
that are inside some of the shells. Not
good to pick up when you don't know
what is inside, I guess. Pretty pic and font, too!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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I like this piece as it has a taste of the
beach in the tropical account of water
bringing in seashells from the tropics.
Never heard of poisonous creatures
that are inside some of the shells. Not
good to pick up when you don't know
what is inside, I guess. Pretty pic and font, too!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Thank you for reviewing my poem and for your kind comments. The poisonous ones are usually in the tropics and one wears some kind of water shoe when shelling and walking in the water. Tourists have classes on which shells to avoid.
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Wow...a water shoe when getting it's shell. That is very interesting. Need to
google it...Joyce
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Wow...a water shoe when getting it's shell. That is very interesting. Need to
google it...Joyce
Comment from mvbrooks
The poem starts calm, peaceful, very visual. The description is strong.
The last stanza is a bit unclear.
"Beachcombers cautious with their finds
Avoid sharp spines
Poisoners still
Avoidable
Confused by "avoid sharp spines" and then "avoidable" -- is the last line to reinforce the importance of avoiding the poison and sharp spines--or is it a lament that they were "avoidable" -- yet still someone was stuck by them.
Editing note:
"Spine edged"
this is a compound adjective and should be hyphenated (spine-edged)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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The poem starts calm, peaceful, very visual. The description is strong.
The last stanza is a bit unclear.
"Beachcombers cautious with their finds
Avoid sharp spines
Poisoners still
Avoidable
Confused by "avoid sharp spines" and then "avoidable" -- is the last line to reinforce the importance of avoiding the poison and sharp spines--or is it a lament that they were "avoidable" -- yet still someone was stuck by them.
Editing note:
"Spine edged"
this is a compound adjective and should be hyphenated (spine-edged)
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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I want to thank you for your review of my entry. I appreciate it when someone takes the time to point out what they perceive as errors in my writings and most of the time they are indeed errors. Since this poem has been entered I am not sure whether I can add the hyphen you suggested but I will try. Thank you for pointing that out.
In the last stanza it may have made the meaning clearer if I had changed the word Poisoners "still" to Poisoners" are" avoidable. And even better maybe Poisonings are
Avoidable
A lot clearer as no one got stuck. Thank you so much for your time. I learn from reviews like this one.
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I so appreciate your encouraging words and am very glad my comments were helpful. Some people invite this and I'm glad you're one of them. Thanks also for the vote for editing--it made my day.
Comment from NJK62
An interesting poem that uses the minute form effectively to warn those who might want to collect seashells. An interesting contrast is drawn between the natural, attractive colours of the shells (e.g. pink and buff) and their dangerous nature ('spine edged', 'sharp spines' and 'poisonous'). Furthermore, the line division is used effectively to reinforce the message in the concluding lines of stanza 1 and 3: the existence of these shells does not assume a nasty accident. They can be avoided with foresight (e.g. 'Forseeable', 'Avoidable'). I wish you well in the competition.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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An interesting poem that uses the minute form effectively to warn those who might want to collect seashells. An interesting contrast is drawn between the natural, attractive colours of the shells (e.g. pink and buff) and their dangerous nature ('spine edged', 'sharp spines' and 'poisonous'). Furthermore, the line division is used effectively to reinforce the message in the concluding lines of stanza 1 and 3: the existence of these shells does not assume a nasty accident. They can be avoided with foresight (e.g. 'Forseeable', 'Avoidable'). I wish you well in the competition.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you so very much for your review. The poisonous creatures are usually in the tropics and hide in the most attractive shells or grow their own shells.
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No problem.
Comment from MacMhuirich
I didn't know about the venomous shells. Every day is a school day. Your words paint lovely imagery of the beach and inhabitants. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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I didn't know about the venomous shells. Every day is a school day. Your words paint lovely imagery of the beach and inhabitants. Best wishes for the contest.
Bless you
John
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you very much for your review and comments. I appreciate your time in doing so.
Comment from Glasstruth
Never knew that about venomous shells. I guess you're never too old to know everything. You paint a lovely picture of the beach and collecting shells. Very serene. Wonderfully written. Les
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Never knew that about venomous shells. I guess you're never too old to know everything. You paint a lovely picture of the beach and collecting shells. Very serene. Wonderfully written. Les
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2015
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Thank you very much for your review and comments. I appreciate your time in doing so.
Comment from donette1914
that was so interesting that seashells can carry venomous shells, and how you could go to the hospital. thank you for a well penned poem and it was a pleasure to read your work
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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that was so interesting that seashells can carry venomous shells, and how you could go to the hospital. thank you for a well penned poem and it was a pleasure to read your work
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Thanks for your review. I appreciate the time it takes for one to do this. The animal has to be in the shell for it to be poisonous and usually in tropical waters.
Comment from seaglass
Oh my goodness. I never hear of killer seashells. I wonder it they are in California where I live. I love doing this so that would bum out a great hobby.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Oh my goodness. I never hear of killer seashells. I wonder it they are in California where I live. I love doing this so that would bum out a great hobby.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Thank you for your review and comments. The shells are usually tropical and have to have the animal inside which darts out the poison. I don't know about California but I doubt it.
Comment from Louise Michelle
I love the fast pace of the minute poem and you did a good job pairing your piece with the image. Not only that, it was educational. I had no idea that some shells can be poisonous. Good work. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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I love the fast pace of the minute poem and you did a good job pairing your piece with the image. Not only that, it was educational. I had no idea that some shells can be poisonous. Good work. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Thanks so much for your review. Most poisonous shell creatures are tropical though.
