haiku (late August sunset)
haiku contest about nature or seasons12 total reviews
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Your Haiku title grabbed my attention. I love sunsets. Your choice of artwork is beautiful. Your haiku words are so absolutely true. So well written. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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Your Haiku title grabbed my attention. I love sunsets. Your choice of artwork is beautiful. Your haiku words are so absolutely true. So well written. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for the lovely review
Comment from Eternal Muse
An expertly done haiku. A model. I especially liked "slashes red on horizon" and "summer bleeds out". Such mastery with words and word economy at the same time.
Simply superb.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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An expertly done haiku. A model. I especially liked "slashes red on horizon" and "summer bleeds out". Such mastery with words and word economy at the same time.
Simply superb.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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Thank you, yeltel, for the wonderful exceptional. Those are my favorite lines, also. Thank you once again for sponsoring the contest. Hugs Val
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Nice job! I like your classic haiku. You adhered to the contest's rules-good syllable count, kigo, satori and interconnected 2 lines. Good job!
~gypsy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Hello :)
Nice job! I like your classic haiku. You adhered to the contest's rules-good syllable count, kigo, satori and interconnected 2 lines. Good job!
~gypsy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thank you for your very through review, as they very rare
Comment from Nosha17
Vivid imagery of that late August sun which epitomises the onset of Autumn. Lovely picture and well chosen words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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Vivid imagery of that late August sun which epitomises the onset of Autumn. Lovely picture and well chosen words. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your haiku on the August sunset is amazing. Good job with the format--the syllable count is correct. The picture--although not needed--is awesome. However, your words paint a great picture.
I see no changes.
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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Your haiku on the August sunset is amazing. Good job with the format--the syllable count is correct. The picture--although not needed--is awesome. However, your words paint a great picture.
I see no changes.
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review.
Comment from Sam Bates
Excellent haiku...tied together so aptly, not just the picture and words (which came first?) but the imagery and actual story line ( slashing and bleeding).. summed up in the satori. Good luck in the contest..I think it's a great entry. Take Care..Sam
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Excellent haiku...tied together so aptly, not just the picture and words (which came first?) but the imagery and actual story line ( slashing and bleeding).. summed up in the satori. Good luck in the contest..I think it's a great entry. Take Care..Sam
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you, Sam This a well thought out review. They are so few. Hugs
Comment from AnnieDawn
Your poem follows the rules set for this contest. It is clever and I enjoyed the theme. You should have a good chance in the contest so good luck and good job.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Your poem follows the rules set for this contest. It is clever and I enjoyed the theme. You should have a good chance in the contest so good luck and good job.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you, for the wonderful review.
Comment from Leineco
strong use of color t signify both the opening imagery (the vibrancy of sunset) and the satori (death of summer). I especially liked the idea (totally unstated, and yet, immediately evoked - of autumn foliage being stained by the same "bleed out")
nicely done :-)
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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strong use of color t signify both the opening imagery (the vibrancy of sunset) and the satori (death of summer). I especially liked the idea (totally unstated, and yet, immediately evoked - of autumn foliage being stained by the same "bleed out")
nicely done :-)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the very provocative review!
Comment from ppersia
The form is fine, although only four syllables are in the third line. Consonance, the repetition of "t" in the first line, makes the sounds euphonic. Strong verbs--"Slashed" and "bleeds out"--are well chosen and effectively placed in the lines. The word "red," referring to the sunset, suggests blood and connects perfectly to the suggestion of blood in "bleeds out. The sunset is personified, and I clearly see how the death of summer is sadly similar to the death of a person. Great job!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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The form is fine, although only four syllables are in the third line. Consonance, the repetition of "t" in the first line, makes the sounds euphonic. Strong verbs--"Slashed" and "bleeds out"--are well chosen and effectively placed in the lines. The word "red," referring to the sunset, suggests blood and connects perfectly to the suggestion of blood in "bleeds out. The sunset is personified, and I clearly see how the death of summer is sadly similar to the death of a person. Great job!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I am so thrilled with this review, because you saw everything I wanted to convey in a haiku. Thank you so much for this very sincere review.
Comment from gner0
I love the image with this as it compliments the poem well. The haiku alone is nice and I love the imagery in it. The first time I read it, I did not think about how both the beginning and end were connected explaining that summer was coming to an end. It does so in a beautiful way. My only thing is that the last line is only 4 syllables and I feel it could easily have had an extra word added to make the phrase more illustrated and have more augmentation.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I love the image with this as it compliments the poem well. The haiku alone is nice and I love the imagery in it. The first time I read it, I did not think about how both the beginning and end were connected explaining that summer was coming to an end. It does so in a beautiful way. My only thing is that the last line is only 4 syllables and I feel it could easily have had an extra word added to make the phrase more illustrated and have more augmentation.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Sorry, I have to disagree with you, since I don't think you read the rules correctly. This is a 17 and under haiku, as most American haiku should be. I don't expect you to change review, but you might want to increase your knowledge of haiku before you review.
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I changed my rating but I still stand by my comment. I was aware of the rules and do know about haikus otherwise I wouldn't have commented. I still stand by my comment that the last line could be more and that the balance is off but I don't think it suffers because of it.
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You are really confusing me, as I told you you have a right to your opinion. Yet, you changed your review. If you think it's a "good" ok, I certain did not mean to pressure you into changing your rating.