Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "You Ain't Got Far To Go"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
31 total reviews
Comment from mvbrooks
Overall, I enjoyed the poem--it's reminiscent of a country song and I can easily envision it being sung at the Grand Ole Opry. The rhyme scheme is consistent and the even/balanced lines will make it easy to sing and maintain a tune.
Thought:
One stanza confused me:
"How am I gonna tell them it's time to go away
Loneliness is all I see and tomorrow's another day
We were such a perfect pair everybody told me so
And, if you wanna hurt my feelings you ain't got far to go"
Who is the "them"? It doesn't seem to follow the prior stanzas and thereby disrupts the poem's flow somewhat.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Overall, I enjoyed the poem--it's reminiscent of a country song and I can easily envision it being sung at the Grand Ole Opry. The rhyme scheme is consistent and the even/balanced lines will make it easy to sing and maintain a tune.
Thought:
One stanza confused me:
"How am I gonna tell them it's time to go away
Loneliness is all I see and tomorrow's another day
We were such a perfect pair everybody told me so
And, if you wanna hurt my feelings you ain't got far to go"
Who is the "them"? It doesn't seem to follow the prior stanzas and thereby disrupts the poem's flow somewhat.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Them, as in everybody the couple knows.
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oh, pronouns need to have a prior reference (antecedent) and in this case the "others" weren't identified before using a pronoun, so the reference is unclear to many readers.
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Ahi , this is a great plaint , a heart break.,trying to get back what is being lost....having not far to go. The best way is to stop the wild living,senseless and hardhearted way and go back to the one who has love to give.
Very good and solid writing flowing ,strengthened by the creative repetitions.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Ahi , this is a great plaint , a heart break.,trying to get back what is being lost....having not far to go. The best way is to stop the wild living,senseless and hardhearted way and go back to the one who has love to give.
Very good and solid writing flowing ,strengthened by the creative repetitions.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoy this. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from donette1914
this is such a sad photo but adorable, it hurts so bad to be played for a fool by the one you love because it really does hurt and sometimes you never get over it. very well written it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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this is such a sad photo but adorable, it hurts so bad to be played for a fool by the one you love because it really does hurt and sometimes you never get over it. very well written it was a pleasure
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Patricia Dsouza
You write amazingly well and bring out charm through it all. The picture merges well too. I love the choice of picture. Happy it is recognized too.
My favorite lines are:
How am I gonna tell them it's time to go away
Loneliness is all I see and tomorrow's another day
We were such a perfect pair everybody told me so
And, if you wanna hurt my feelings you ain't got far to go
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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You write amazingly well and bring out charm through it all. The picture merges well too. I love the choice of picture. Happy it is recognized too.
My favorite lines are:
How am I gonna tell them it's time to go away
Loneliness is all I see and tomorrow's another day
We were such a perfect pair everybody told me so
And, if you wanna hurt my feelings you ain't got far to go
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Nice song, it's very sad and true. I was played treated like a fool and I got hurt deeply by one who was suppose to care about me and love me. Now he is with another women, still playing his deceitful games. Good job!
gypsy
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Hello :)
Nice song, it's very sad and true. I was played treated like a fool and I got hurt deeply by one who was suppose to care about me and love me. Now he is with another women, still playing his deceitful games. Good job!
gypsy
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed these lyrics. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Pantygynt
You don't say that these are country lyrics but they certainly seem that way to me. Being hurt seems to be a freqyuent occurrence amongs the exponents of country songs. This rolls along beautifully. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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You don't say that these are country lyrics but they certainly seem that way to me. Being hurt seems to be a freqyuent occurrence amongs the exponents of country songs. This rolls along beautifully. Nicely done.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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See NOTES. Glad you enjoyed these lyrics.
Comment from Tessa Kay
I like how the refrain is interwoven in the stanzas. Even just reading it, the poem has a melody of its own. Very nicely done. :)
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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I like how the refrain is interwoven in the stanzas. Even just reading it, the poem has a melody of its own. Very nicely done. :)
Comment Written 28-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed these lyrics. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
Thanks Brett for sharing the depth of your heart unfolding new life in your of so creative words and song of lament of love and hopes of a pair, only meant to journey a short way together in some greater plan, above what mother can know. Yet, it is oft in that lesser love, nurturing and trust God nurtures children of destiny, and souls to flower from our worldly cocoons. And, I think it is spreading new colours as each petal unfurls as you do, you gift that real you and our world, and build love's relationships from your heart. And, radiate gifts adding to the treasure trove of motherhood and all.
Blessings in the healings of winter of hopes of a new spring! Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Thanks Brett for sharing the depth of your heart unfolding new life in your of so creative words and song of lament of love and hopes of a pair, only meant to journey a short way together in some greater plan, above what mother can know. Yet, it is oft in that lesser love, nurturing and trust God nurtures children of destiny, and souls to flower from our worldly cocoons. And, I think it is spreading new colours as each petal unfurls as you do, you gift that real you and our world, and build love's relationships from your heart. And, radiate gifts adding to the treasure trove of motherhood and all.
Blessings in the healings of winter of hopes of a new spring! Maureen*&*
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed these lyrics. Appreciate your comments, support, and the 6 Stars.
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Travel happily, blessings, Maureen*&*
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Some country style lyrics of
a cheating heart - a woman in
this case giving her fellow
trouble
once they do it and you forgive,they do it yet again ... and again.
a good flow to the words, and to both rhythm and rhyme
throughout, Brett.
Margaret
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Some country style lyrics of
a cheating heart - a woman in
this case giving her fellow
trouble
once they do it and you forgive,they do it yet again ... and again.
a good flow to the words, and to both rhythm and rhyme
throughout, Brett.
Margaret
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed these lyrics. Your comments and support always appreciated.
Comment from RahulChadha
This is a very beautifully and perfectly written romantic poetry, nicely shaped and put into words. Nice vocabulary used as well. I am not that good at writing reviews but I loved it.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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This is a very beautifully and perfectly written romantic poetry, nicely shaped and put into words. Nice vocabulary used as well. I am not that good at writing reviews but I loved it.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this poem. Your comments and support appreciated.
