Reviews from

The Final Battle

An assassin finds herself in a fight for her life.

18 total reviews 
Comment from WritingFencer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I loved that story! Such a basic concept reworked into a horror thriller. And then the left turn ending in such a drastic way that left me pleasantly surprised. No happy endings or we win the day. The arachnids devouring there prey mercilessly as the valiant warriors are left to wonder why?? You weave a story like an intricate series of webs, ready to entangle, trap, and mystify.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
    Thank you so much for taking time to read and review! Have great weekend,
    Rhonda
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Totally loved this. I gave myself a bit of a spoiler because I read your comment first, but it was still great. It reminded me of Arachnaphobia, which is one of my favorite movies. Oh, and I actually love spiders lol.

There was one issue. I read this as a comedy (which I know wasn't your intention) because in my head the spiders were regular sized, as opposed to monster sized. Were they monster sized?

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
    It was definitely tongue-in-cheek, and the result of a writing prompt on assassins. They were intended to be monster sized, but in my world, all spiders are monster sized anyway. haha.

    Thanks for the wonderful review!!

    Rhonda
Comment from jpduck
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Basically a good story with a good final twist. But I feel the first four paragraphs -- where you lay out, slightly disjointedly, the basic principles on which th 'organisation' runs -- could be trimmed down to advantage, and result in a stonger, punchier story.

Adrian

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
    Thank you for the advice, but not quite sure how to apply it. Sorry, I guess I need more instruction.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Excellent
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Hi. Interesting premise. I have arachnophobia too. Good write and the flow was sound...(but my hand touch(ed) something sticky. ((the deeper became my entanglement.))..You might want to re-structure this. Good luck and take care. Cheers.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
    Thank you, Benjamin. I will look at it. 😀
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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An unexpected ending. So this ended up being the final assassination assignment ever.

The thousand eyes sound awful ...

Best wishes for the contest.

Sonali




single chirp of our sound(-)synchronized cell phones

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
    Thank you, Selina, for the wonderful review! Also, thank you for the tip on the spag!
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Be prepared for the unexpected. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Your post has good imagery. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
    Thank you so much, c lucas, for the wonderful review! It is much appreciated!
reply by c_lucas on 23-Sep-2015
    You're welcome.
Comment from Glenn Paul
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nice development of the enemy. That made the ending come out so well. The table turned on the smug assassin in a truly nasty way.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
    Thank you, Glenn, for a wonderful start to my morning with a brilliant 6 stars!!! Thanks, also, for the comments.
    Big Smile,
    Me
Comment from Walu Feral
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

G'day Anon. This is a very tense story culminating in a scary and evil conclusion. It is very well written and an excellent contest entry in which I send you good luck wishes. You are in with a great chance. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
    Thank you so much for your review! I am trying to extend my horizons, and I have a horror of spiders, too! It would just be my luck that they would organize to fight back! Take care,
    Anonymous author
Comment from Jackreese
Excellent
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This was interesting at first I thought they were vampire hunters and than maybe samurai's. I wasn't expecting the spidernators or the ending which I thought was great.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
    Thanks, Jack. I had fun with it. It's hard to put a twist on assassins, and I do hate spiders...
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A terrific assassinate me thriller that holds the reader in suspense right up to the end. Written well. Clear, interesting, flows well. Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2015


reply by the author on 20-Sep-2015
    Thank you, Marilyn! I had fun writing it. I appreciate your comments!