Short Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "haiku (apple pie on sill)"A Collection Of Short Form Poetry
13 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Haiku does paint a picture for the reader. Descriptive. Nice alliteration in this short piece with:
"sill sends scent."
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Haiku does paint a picture for the reader. Descriptive. Nice alliteration in this short piece with:
"sill sends scent."
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Awesome. I could almost smell that apple pie. Now I am licking my lips. And hungry. Kudos on a job well done. I wish you the best in the contest. I wonder how hard it is to write a haiku with just one line?
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Awesome. I could almost smell that apple pie. Now I am licking my lips. And hungry. Kudos on a job well done. I wish you the best in the contest. I wonder how hard it is to write a haiku with just one line?
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Wow, this is a hard contest prompt. You managed to keep the syllables under 14 and you have some concrete images. Good job!
~gypsy
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Hello :)
Wow, this is a hard contest prompt. You managed to keep the syllables under 14 and you have some concrete images. Good job!
~gypsy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
Comment from Sis Cat
Now, that is what I call a one line haiku. It is simple but evocative. I can see, smell, and taste the pie. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
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Now, that is what I call a one line haiku. It is simple but evocative. I can see, smell, and taste the pie. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
Comment from Val Crisson
Perfect entry for this contest, and so appropriate to the season. I love the transition from fall to winter - "scent through icy branches" I'm sure this is the winner.
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Perfect entry for this contest, and so appropriate to the season. I love the transition from fall to winter - "scent through icy branches" I'm sure this is the winner.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
This is just an exceptional piece. I can see the idyllic scene with perhaps a cabin or old house in the woods surrounded by trees with no leaves enduring the harsh winter. And through this starkness the seeet inviting aroma of apple pie invites the weary wanderer to come home. It sounds better described in one simple line. :)
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This is just an exceptional piece. I can see the idyllic scene with perhaps a cabin or old house in the woods surrounded by trees with no leaves enduring the harsh winter. And through this starkness the seeet inviting aroma of apple pie invites the weary wanderer to come home. It sounds better described in one simple line. :)
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
Comment from TAB_that's me
Apple pie and the smell both are great for the senses. Well written one-line haiku in very few syllables. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
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Apple pie and the smell both are great for the senses. Well written one-line haiku in very few syllables. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
Comment from virgomoon71
What an appetizing one line piece of poetry ; )
Meets all the contest requirements and I adore your use of alliteration in the middle.
It's a challenge to create an image with so few words. Excellent work!
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What an appetizing one line piece of poetry ; )
Meets all the contest requirements and I adore your use of alliteration in the middle.
It's a challenge to create an image with so few words. Excellent work!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
Comment from mermaids
You have me hungry here. I can see and smell this yummy apple pie. Excellent use of words that captures a delicious dessert. I like the one line poem and the smell of the pie through frosted branches.
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You have me hungry here. I can see and smell this yummy apple pie. Excellent use of words that captures a delicious dessert. I like the one line poem and the smell of the pie through frosted branches.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This certainly has some wonderful concrete imagery, of both scent and sight. I can just see and smell that apple pie on a cold day. Very well done one-line haiku. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
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This certainly has some wonderful concrete imagery, of both scent and sight. I can just see and smell that apple pie on a cold day. Very well done one-line haiku. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015