2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "haiku (lovers embrace)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
18 total reviews
Comment from tbacha58
This is my choice as a winner, Why? i read a few times, it is such a warm love written poem. The subject keeps going in the 3 verses. Very well done, congratulations, from my part. Terry xo
I wish i had a six. xoxo
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015
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This is my choice as a winner, Why? i read a few times, it is such a warm love written poem. The subject keeps going in the 3 verses. Very well done, congratulations, from my part. Terry xo
I wish i had a six. xoxo
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015
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Wow, what an awesome review, I really appreciate it :) Thank you tbacha
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! it follows al the requirements and i truly did enjoy reading the three haikus. nice imagery and angelic atmosphere.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
good luck!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015
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this is a fine piece of poetry dear anonymous! it follows al the requirements and i truly did enjoy reading the three haikus. nice imagery and angelic atmosphere.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
good luck!
rebekka x
Comment Written 09-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015
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thank you rjuselius :)
Comment from RGstar
You have the elements and the form of the haiku, with the three variants. I felt it could have been a little stronger, but the haiku caters for simplicity as much as anything else, so I say well done to you.
My best wishes,
RGstar
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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You have the elements and the form of the haiku, with the three variants. I felt it could have been a little stronger, but the haiku caters for simplicity as much as anything else, so I say well done to you.
My best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 08-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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thank RGstar :)
Comment from NJK62
I found this difficult to rate largely because of the difference in quality between these haiku. I loved the humour of the satori in the second poem: the kenning 'pick-neck' is inspired, with its play on the words 'picnic', 'pick' and 'necking'. The piece is marginally spoiled for me, however, by its lack of grammatical fluency: when I read it I wanted to put a 'the' before 'concert', but I recognize this would have conflicted with the poem's form.
The first haiku is grammatically more successful and the satori in the third line works beautifully. I liked particularly the sibilant use of 's' sounds, which is in keeping with the picture your create. Though good, however, this haiku lacks the resonance of the second.
The third haiku is for me the least successful: the image 'fogs the window' lacks the originality of the first two poems and the satori on this occasion doesn't work for me. I am not sure about its relationship to what has gone before.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading your entry for the contest and wish you well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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I found this difficult to rate largely because of the difference in quality between these haiku. I loved the humour of the satori in the second poem: the kenning 'pick-neck' is inspired, with its play on the words 'picnic', 'pick' and 'necking'. The piece is marginally spoiled for me, however, by its lack of grammatical fluency: when I read it I wanted to put a 'the' before 'concert', but I recognize this would have conflicted with the poem's form.
The first haiku is grammatically more successful and the satori in the third line works beautifully. I liked particularly the sibilant use of 's' sounds, which is in keeping with the picture your create. Though good, however, this haiku lacks the resonance of the second.
The third haiku is for me the least successful: the image 'fogs the window' lacks the originality of the first two poems and the satori on this occasion doesn't work for me. I am not sure about its relationship to what has gone before.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading your entry for the contest and wish you well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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thank you :)
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Three very good haiku suite. All three have lines l and 2 interconnecting perfectly and lines 3 are good satori. I particularly like the satori in haiku No 2. Clever play on words - pick-neck. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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Three very good haiku suite. All three have lines l and 2 interconnecting perfectly and lines 3 are good satori. I particularly like the satori in haiku No 2. Clever play on words - pick-neck. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 08-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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thank you Dorothy :)
Comment from misscookie
I like the way you intertwine animals, human and things
all in the name of love.
You capture the compassion and embraced it in a sweet gentle new way.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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I like the way you intertwine animals, human and things
all in the name of love.
You capture the compassion and embraced it in a sweet gentle new way.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 08-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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thank you Miss Cookie :)
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It was my pleasure
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
HI, interesting entry and engaging. My favorite one of the Haiku's was your first one. Good formatting to show red is passion and love. Good luck in the contest. Cheers.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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HI, interesting entry and engaging. My favorite one of the Haiku's was your first one. Good formatting to show red is passion and love. Good luck in the contest. Cheers.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015
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Thank you Benjamin :)
Comment from lightink
This is fantastic passionate piece! The degree of intimacy progresses while the couple seems to be less and less under the influence of their environment.
The first one is soft and romantic.
The second one is funny and ambiguous play with the word and the meaning :)
The third one is just pure passion.
Thank you for sharing this excellent haiku suite!
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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This is fantastic passionate piece! The degree of intimacy progresses while the couple seems to be less and less under the influence of their environment.
The first one is soft and romantic.
The second one is funny and ambiguous play with the word and the meaning :)
The third one is just pure passion.
Thank you for sharing this excellent haiku suite!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you for the awesome review lightink :)
Comment from anabellapongasi
This is a lovely haiku suite about love. Good imagery in the three haiku and all satori lines are clever. I pick the first one as my favorite because love birds are so cute and they are always kissing too:) Best to you in the contest.
Blessings,
Anabella
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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This is a lovely haiku suite about love. Good imagery in the three haiku and all satori lines are clever. I pick the first one as my favorite because love birds are so cute and they are always kissing too:) Best to you in the contest.
Blessings,
Anabella
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you anabella :)
Comment from poetadeu
You seem to have a perfect haiku suit for your
competition. Each haiku follows the love theme
and with a very good satori to complete the
picture. I like the red on black font and wish
you the best...
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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You seem to have a perfect haiku suit for your
competition. Each haiku follows the love theme
and with a very good satori to complete the
picture. I like the red on black font and wish
you the best...
Comment Written 07-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015
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thank you poetadeu :)
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LOL::}}-Joyce
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LOL::}}-Joyce