haiku (clement breezes dance)
haiku contest10 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
clement breezes dance
amid fields of goldenrod
autumn seduction
>s i g h . . .<
what else can I say :-)
really lovely :-)
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
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clement breezes dance
amid fields of goldenrod
autumn seduction
>s i g h . . .<
what else can I say :-)
really lovely :-)
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
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Thank you Leineco for this most inspiring review my friend.
God bless!
Comment from BeasPeas
This is nicely done. It does paint a picture for the reader even without an accompanying image--"breezes dance" and "fields of goldenrod."
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
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This is nicely done. It does paint a picture for the reader even without an accompanying image--"breezes dance" and "fields of goldenrod."
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2015
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Thank you BeasPeas for this most excellent review.
God bless!
Comment from l.raven
truly is a beautiful time of the year...love when the wind touches the leaves and they dance to the grand...so very nicely written...good luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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truly is a beautiful time of the year...love when the wind touches the leaves and they dance to the grand...so very nicely written...good luck in the contest...
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you I.raven for this awesome review my friend. This is absolutely my favorite time of the year here after all this hot weather.
God bless!
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you are soooo very welcome...it is a wonderful picture of amazing colors...God Bless you also...luff xxoo
Comment from rama devi
I enjoy personification in Haiku and this one is very well done. Superb word economy. Nice imagery. Creative satori and fine alliteration of A.
Good luck in the contest. A strong contender.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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I enjoy personification in Haiku and this one is very well done. Superb word economy. Nice imagery. Creative satori and fine alliteration of A.
Good luck in the contest. A strong contender.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you rama devi for this most excellent review. I enjoy them all and especially when good luck wishes come into play.
God bless!
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:-))
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I voted for yours.
God bless you too.
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Awesome! Thank you so very much!
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Awesome! Thank you so very much!
Comment from robyn corum
Much better. I've raised your rating, too!
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Great imagery! I would make three suggestions - which you are free to toss out the window! hahahahaha
1.) lowercase 'haiku' in your title. people WILL deduct for that
2.) add a definition for 'clement' in your author notes -- oops!Q forgot! can't do that. Then maybe replace with more familiar word?
3.) consider changing 'autumns seduction' to 'autumn seduction' (no 's')
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Much better. I've raised your rating, too!
***
Great imagery! I would make three suggestions - which you are free to toss out the window! hahahahaha
1.) lowercase 'haiku' in your title. people WILL deduct for that
2.) add a definition for 'clement' in your author notes -- oops!Q forgot! can't do that. Then maybe replace with more familiar word?
3.) consider changing 'autumns seduction' to 'autumn seduction' (no 's')
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you robyn corum for this most helpful review. I took 2 of the suggestion and changed them.
God bless!
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looks good. raised your rating!
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Awesome! Thank you again.
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Awesome! Thank you again.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
your autumn haiku covers all the rules' requirements (many) and it has a clever satori with two interconnected lines. Good entry for the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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your autumn haiku covers all the rules' requirements (many) and it has a clever satori with two interconnected lines. Good entry for the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you Gypsy Blue Rose for this most inspiring review. I have had a couple of reviews who didn't care to much for the word Clement lol!
God bless!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this haiku poem about the seductive nature of autumn. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this haiku poem about the seductive nature of autumn. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you sweetwoodjax for this most awesome review my friend. I have had a couple of reviews who didn't care much for the work clement lol!
God bless!
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi..Hmm. good poetry format flow. I didn't quite get the 'goldenrod' in relation to Autumns seduction. It's also hard to imagine dancing breezes. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Hi..Hmm. good poetry format flow. I didn't quite get the 'goldenrod' in relation to Autumns seduction. It's also hard to imagine dancing breezes. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thank you Benjamin, I certainly appreciate the feedback! It's all in ones perception for sure. Goldenrods are flowers, they usually fill a field from one end to the other.
God bless my friend!
Comment from mermaids
Your words create a lovely image that makes me long for Autumn. Autumns seduction is a fitting last line, your first two lines describe how Autumn seduces us. Excellent use of words and a smooth flow of lines.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Your words create a lovely image that makes me long for Autumn. Autumns seduction is a fitting last line, your first two lines describe how Autumn seduces us. Excellent use of words and a smooth flow of lines.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thank you mermaids for this most excellent review my friend. Here in Texas, the cooler weather is most welcome.
God bless!
Comment from Domino 2
Very original, vivid imagery, and most entertaining entry.
Subtle 'a' alliteration and use of multi-syllable words, add to the flow.
A strong contender IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Very original, vivid imagery, and most entertaining entry.
Subtle 'a' alliteration and use of multi-syllable words, add to the flow.
A strong contender IMO.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thank you Ray! This is my first review and it is definitely an inspiring one my friend.
God bless!