2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Alone"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
22 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
Loneliness and solitude are so similar and yet complete opposites. Excellent work demonstrating the contrasts with your verse. Despair or serenity depend on the person and that person's perspective. I love the peacefulness you evoke in the second 5-7-5.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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Loneliness and solitude are so similar and yet complete opposites. Excellent work demonstrating the contrasts with your verse. Despair or serenity depend on the person and that person's perspective. I love the peacefulness you evoke in the second 5-7-5.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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Thank you wjdebi :)
Comment from Bicpen
Cool ... im like the second woman though Im not actually a woman. The solitude percieved from very to different directions in this piece speak volumes as to the natural enviroment we are found in. Maybe forced the first woman is hounded into solitude maybe her own action has brought her there in all things there is a consequence ans this piece speaks of both the positive and negative outcomes to which the human condition finds itself entangled with daily ... excellent Id give it six stars but I`s aint got none.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Cool ... im like the second woman though Im not actually a woman. The solitude percieved from very to different directions in this piece speak volumes as to the natural enviroment we are found in. Maybe forced the first woman is hounded into solitude maybe her own action has brought her there in all things there is a consequence ans this piece speaks of both the positive and negative outcomes to which the human condition finds itself entangled with daily ... excellent Id give it six stars but I`s aint got none.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Thank you Bicpen :)
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No worries ignore the dodgy spelling errors ... punctuation and grammar are not a strong point of mine.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a brilliant sedoka dear gypsy blue rose! The juxtaposition between the two stanzas is very well thought out!
This should be a strong contender!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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This is a brilliant sedoka dear gypsy blue rose! The juxtaposition between the two stanzas is very well thought out!
This should be a strong contender!
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 28-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Thank you Rebekka :)
Comment from BeasPeas
What an interesting sedoka. The two sides of the same coin looked at differently present such a new perspective. This is excellent. Marilyn
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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What an interesting sedoka. The two sides of the same coin looked at differently present such a new perspective. This is excellent. Marilyn
Comment Written 28-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Thank you Marilyn :)
Comment from The Death
Hi GBR,
Nice, reflective content for this sedoka! You have presented the two perspectives about the feeling of loneliness, and delivered it nicely.
Loneliness smothers
Darkness of body and soul
Pill bottle taunts sad woman
Fine use of S consonance in all the lines. In these shorter forms, capitalization is generally avoided, until and unless it's much needed. Thus, you should have every word in lower case, which actually isn't a rule but a general notion. I loved the effective use of personification in the last line.
I can relate to both the stanzas, but this one is my favorite:
Serenity Queen
unwinds in peaceful silence
she's content to be alone
Lovely use of S alliteration here. I see loneliness as the time to contemplate, hence it leads to serenity. I enjoyed reading it.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Hi GBR,
Nice, reflective content for this sedoka! You have presented the two perspectives about the feeling of loneliness, and delivered it nicely.
Loneliness smothers
Darkness of body and soul
Pill bottle taunts sad woman
Fine use of S consonance in all the lines. In these shorter forms, capitalization is generally avoided, until and unless it's much needed. Thus, you should have every word in lower case, which actually isn't a rule but a general notion. I loved the effective use of personification in the last line.
I can relate to both the stanzas, but this one is my favorite:
Serenity Queen
unwinds in peaceful silence
she's content to be alone
Lovely use of S alliteration here. I see loneliness as the time to contemplate, hence it leads to serenity. I enjoyed reading it.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 28-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Thank you Anupam :)
Comment from bard owl
This is a fine example of opposites - the serenity of Buddha and the distress of loneliness with a desire to end one's life. Both verses speak the truth. This is an excellent contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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This is a fine example of opposites - the serenity of Buddha and the distress of loneliness with a desire to end one's life. Both verses speak the truth. This is an excellent contest entry. Best of luck to you. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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thank you Linda ::)
Comment from RahulChadha
So many things said in such few words. The setting is really attractive and the vocabulary is also perfect, best wished. May you win the contest
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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So many things said in such few words. The setting is really attractive and the vocabulary is also perfect, best wished. May you win the contest
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you Rahul :)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Verrry good. I like that you show being alone two diff ways, one neg and one pos. For me it's positive. I'm hardly ever lonely. I've always enjoyed doing things on my own, such as reading and writing, for example. :)
Pill bottle taunts sad woman << One line says a lot here!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Verrry good. I like that you show being alone two diff ways, one neg and one pos. For me it's positive. I'm hardly ever lonely. I've always enjoyed doing things on my own, such as reading and writing, for example. :)
Pill bottle taunts sad woman << One line says a lot here!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you Phyllis :)
Comment from Judy Couch
You're right. Being alone can be either a blessing or a curse. It all depends on the person and how content he is with himself.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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You're right. Being alone can be either a blessing or a curse. It all depends on the person and how content he is with himself.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you Judy :)
Comment from LeslieP5
This sedoka I very well crafted with an important message in the two contrasting parts. One succumbs to loneliness while ""Serenity Queen" is content in solitude. Good luck in the contest. Adding this one to my bookcase.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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This sedoka I very well crafted with an important message in the two contrasting parts. One succumbs to loneliness while ""Serenity Queen" is content in solitude. Good luck in the contest. Adding this one to my bookcase.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, I am honored you will keep this in your bookcase. Thank you very much for the great review and the 6 stars. :)
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You're welcome.
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You're welcome.