Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Bill. This chapter follows the format of previous ones for continuity. Russ is still ambling along trying to think of what to write about, getting money (quite easily) it seems from people he pitches to even though he doesn't give them any definite story/script they're paying for. Dialogue is quick and snappy--which you know I like--although I did have to check a couple of times to be sure who was speaking. Length of segment is just right. Marilyn

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thanks for the review. Very glad that you liked it.
I added more dialogue tags, but apparently not enough.
FYI. So far, the mere mention of the title, 'Loophole' caused two producers to tell Russ what his script must be about. This method didn't work with Liz, the Psychoanalyst, who charged her weirdos $220/hr., four years ago. I envy to think what she charges now.
Liz is an old flame. Another relationship from the past that Russ never had time or money to maintain. Same with Dolores.
Marv

reply by BeasPeas on 24-Aug-2015

Hi Bill. I understand the premise and the dialogue and the plot. I'm enjoying the whole thing immensely. You had asked me to point out what I thought may need tweaking and that's why I pointed out the one-line dialogue that at times is so quick it may be hard to follow. Keep on writing this delightful story! Good job. Marilyn

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Your dialogue carried this one. I'm trying to figure out if they were flirting, because the last bit of dialogue pointed me in that direction.
He did get 10K, but why did he refuse the 50K?

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

Ellen
Thanks for your review and 5*.
Russ met Liz, the Psychoanalyst, in Vegas about four years ago, where they 'continued to talk into the early morning hours, over complimentary drinks, then coffee. He unloaded most of his problems on her and found her to be an excellent listener.'
They had two necking 'sessions' in her office. Although they never 'slept together,' it appears they both gave much importance to that brief relationship and are picking up where they left off.
Russ received 5K from Charley. He didn't want the front monies to be too imbalanced. He is not a conman.
Marv