Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Nice energetic enthusiasm in tone here. I love winter too (for a short time, anyway). I enjoyed the consonance o L and S in line two and the fluid flow of the line...nice imagery. Enjoyed the diversification of sun rays as SHY. Sun rays is two words, I believe. It's probably fine as one word too, but spell check underlines it. Spell check is not always correct, though.

Nice assonance of I and Y in sky, shy and hide.

One suggestion: consider using a dash instead of a comma:


I love winter cold!

Frozen lakes and silver sky--

the shy sunrays hide.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015

Thank you rama devi :)

Comment from Jacob Collins

Excellent

You captured the essence of winter well in this piece, Gypsy Blue Rose. I loved the imagery you used: frozen lakes and silver sky, the sky sunrays hide. An excellent competition entry, I couldn't fault it. Good luck in the contest...Jacob

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Jacob :)

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

I don't like winter at all so it is hard for me to think even of writing an ode to winter. Your entry is in perfect form with great imagery.


teresa

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Teresa. I don't like winter too much but I love the cool weather. I hate the heat. Thank you for the review. :)

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

A beautiful photo of winter that complements your tiny poem perfectly. It is indeed an Ode to winter with the right (syllable count). I love winter too as I have all kind of allergies. Best wishes for the prompt.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Robina :) I didn't win the contest.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I appreciate how pretty it looks but I despise winter with a passion-with 30 below zero temps and shovelling mounds of snow, no more! I live in the temperate South of England. Well chosen words and a lovely photo to convey your concept of winter. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Faye :) I didn't win the contest.

Comment from livelylinda

Excellent

Gypsy: I have to say this for ya, you are brave to take on a contest about winter in the middle of summer, the hottest month and most humidity. I didn't have the stomach for it. Nice job, colors, picture. Good wishes in the contest. livelylinda

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you lively linda :)

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is very nice. Your words do indeed paint a picture for the reader of winter. Descriptive, sets a mood. Presentation emphasizes the chill. Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Marilyn :)

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I love the cadence in the final line. Very catchy.
Nice 's' consonance : lakes and silver sky
Good assonance: shy/hide
Your syllable count is perfect.

Best of luck in the contest.

:) ellen

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you :)

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Beautiful alliteration. Flows smoothly as 'the shy sunrays' Hate to think of winter. For now I'll enjoy whatever there is of summer. You do paint a very vivid picture of winter. Well crafted. Les

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Les :)

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi...

_ OMGoodness! Spectacular photo---makes me cold to look at it, and complements your super 5.7.5 entry.
_ Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015

Thank you Jax :)