Snippets
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Dick"A collection of 150 word, or less, short stories
11 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Brent,
You've packed a lot of drama into these few lines.
Five hundred thousand reasons ... indeed!
Best wishes for the contest.
Sonali
down on top of my dilapidated (old) wooden desk.... auggest:
... drop the second adjective (old). Try to restrict the overuse of adjectives. Pick the one that best describes your noun. This makes the writing more polished. In this case, the reader understands that the 'dilapidated' article is 'old'! Just my thoughts ...
Every time the local (shmucks) could
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Hello Brent,
You've packed a lot of drama into these few lines.
Five hundred thousand reasons ... indeed!
Best wishes for the contest.
Sonali
down on top of my dilapidated (old) wooden desk.... auggest:
... drop the second adjective (old). Try to restrict the overuse of adjectives. Pick the one that best describes your noun. This makes the writing more polished. In this case, the reader understands that the 'dilapidated' article is 'old'! Just my thoughts ...
Every time the local (shmucks) could
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of "The Dick". Of course, I read your story because of the title. It was a clever little one-hundred-and forty-nine word story. Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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To the author of "The Dick". Of course, I read your story because of the title. It was a clever little one-hundred-and forty-nine word story. Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a fun and amusing little story that moves right along. You managed to incorporate all the words without forcing. Good job.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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This is a fun and amusing little story that moves right along. You managed to incorporate all the words without forcing. Good job.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you for your comments and support. Always appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
I sure appreciate your author's notes. I like this writing. I like the artwork you have chosen. Thankfully now I know what you meant by torch LOL. Kudos on a job well done. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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I sure appreciate your author's notes. I like this writing. I like the artwork you have chosen. Thankfully now I know what you meant by torch LOL. Kudos on a job well done. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little story. Appreciate your comments and support.
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Your welcome.
Comment from mfowler
This film noir styled effort caught me off guard. I overlooked the mail and went straight to the dame entering your office, thinking of course that she wanted you to do some 'Dick' work. But, then when I read back, the clue appears and we find that the lovely lady and the Dick are off together and almost certainly complicit in the murder. Very tongue in cheek and quite an achievement for 150 words. All the best in the vote.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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This film noir styled effort caught me off guard. I overlooked the mail and went straight to the dame entering your office, thinking of course that she wanted you to do some 'Dick' work. But, then when I read back, the clue appears and we find that the lovely lady and the Dick are off together and almost certainly complicit in the murder. Very tongue in cheek and quite an achievement for 150 words. All the best in the vote.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Like your consideration of them both being involved in the murder, however, that thought never crossed my mind when I wrote this. Glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Is he a sell-out or what?
The Dick
Thank you for the helpful vocabulary translation, it came out handy. I like your detective mini story. Good job!
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Is he a sell-out or what?
The Dick
Thank you for the helpful vocabulary translation, it came out handy. I like your detective mini story. Good job!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Comment from Pantygynt
Some folks will do anything for money. I'm one of them. That's why I 'm reviewing this. Jeez! 52 cents? Cheapskate. What? More wanted? You want blood. You got it.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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Some folks will do anything for money. I'm one of them. That's why I 'm reviewing this. Jeez! 52 cents? Cheapskate. What? More wanted? You want blood. You got it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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Thanks.
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. So, torch is slang for woman. Not sure I have ever heard that before and perhaps most readers haven't either. If not for your notes, I would have been lost. Are you sure you want to go with that?
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Interesting. So, torch is slang for woman. Not sure I have ever heard that before and perhaps most readers haven't either. If not for your notes, I would have been lost. Are you sure you want to go with that?
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Absolutely. Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Comment from Nosha17
Sounds like Dick Tracy has lost it, he finally fell for the loot and the girl! Cute short story with strong story line, and good touch of humour, slick dialogue. Two things, Para 2, services, as well. Para 3, office, a briefcase.... (join up two sentences for better flow) Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Sounds like Dick Tracy has lost it, he finally fell for the loot and the girl! Cute short story with strong story line, and good touch of humour, slick dialogue. Two things, Para 2, services, as well. Para 3, office, a briefcase.... (join up two sentences for better flow) Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Comment from Domino 2
I don't 'get' 2nd last line, as I assume it's a picture of the victim this guy intends setting light to, and the victim's wife has visited him, so why didn't she hand over the picture?
I'm probably missing something.
Good short read.
Best wishes, Ray
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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I don't 'get' 2nd last line, as I assume it's a picture of the victim this guy intends setting light to, and the victim's wife has visited him, so why didn't she hand over the picture?
I'm probably missing something.
Good short read.
Best wishes, Ray
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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The picture is where he wanted to escape to. Has nothing to do with the victim. Glad you enjoyed this one.