Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

Using teeth to do the dirty work with this I see! I love it! A few demons, a little cannibalism, cowardly soul. Sounds like a pot of horror that I must ingest. masterfully crafted my friend.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015

Thanks, Steve, and God bless you & yours as well. ~Dean

reply by Neonewman on 09-Sep-2015

Thank you my friend.

reply by Anonymous Member on 12-Sep-2015

Thank you my friend.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

...soap and water won't cure corruption....
great line in this horror flash fiction, and a timely or untimely phone call for his next victim was a good finish off. Good read Dean.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015

Thanks fore reading, Pearl. I appreciate it.

~Dean

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Poor Dr. Dentist!

Best wishes for the contest, Dean. (Secretly glad there was no background music.)

It's been a long time. I haven't been around for the past few months. Hope you're doing well.

Sonali

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2015

Comment from Megalips

Excellent

Another really creepy one, Dean...I'm guessing by the photo-phobia that the speaker is a vamp? Could be just a cannibal? I really like the line "I'm constantly washing my hands but the soap and water won't cure my corruption" and "my soul vacated this husk"...that's obviously superhuman, hence the vampire. Awesome job getting the words in...great little scare right there!

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

Comment from MsPetra

Excellent

You did a lot with only 100 words.
I got a whole complete story here.
It made me feel something. I was anxious as I read.
At the end I felt dread for the doctor.
I like it that you always get emotion out of me.
Thank you for that Dean.
Peace and blessings.
Petra

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2015

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is really well written my friend. I miss the spine chilling stories you tell. This one doesn't disappoint either. Good luck in this contest my friend and thank you for sharing this tale of horror.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015

Thanks for reading.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

That's a great one, Dean. I frequent,y don't receive notifications of your work because they are contest entries. I am always glad to read your stories. I have a doctor I wouldn't mind... Well, you know~Debbie

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Heh-heh, I know, Debbie. There are a few of my own physicians who I wouldn't mind seeing someone take a bite out of myself--if you know what I mean.
Thanks a bunch for the review. :)

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Exceptional

I love this vampire short story. I love the ending...... Life bites... LOL You give the reader a close look to the criminal and insane mind of a deranged person, or vampire. I love the picture, it's so horrible, but there are no vampire teeth which leads me to believe we may be dealing with a crazy cannibal. Well done my friend!

~Gypsy :)

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

You'd be right in that assumption, Gypsy. He's just a crazy whack-job who thinks he's been possessed by demons, and who happens to have a taste for human teeth--or bone, whichever is easiest for him to get to at the time.
Thanks for the enthusiastic response, and the six-stars. I'm very grateful to you. :)
Anon for now, the contest is still ongoing... ;)

Comment from J Patience

Good

This piece is written with good grammar and spelling, and is engaging for as short as it is. The pieces you give us to grasp the plot are just enough to leave any manner of horror to the imagination, but I didn't experience any chills or disgust more than the usual vampire movie or CSI episode. I guess I expected more description of ripping through flesh or hearing the person gasp for breath and sanity as the main character starts to feed without killing first, or something like that. It's a good base, and I understand that it's only 100 words, but if there were more descriptive words in it like "spurting stream of warm blood" or "taste of salty life" or even throw in a hook like, "who had I just eaten from?" you could stretch it in a more effective way. It seems you got all of the necessary words in there, which didn't seem awkward, so good job. You have a good way of writing, in 100 to 150 words, and with countless words out there to use, just make sure to pick and choose the most effective ones. Good luck.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Thanks, J Patience.
While I appreciate your comments and concerns, I also abhor graphic descriptions of gore in horror stories. I feel it borders on splatter porn. That being said, horror does not have to be excessively bloody nor graphic to be spine tingling. It is quite often what the author has left to the imagination of his or her readers--what we are not privy to witness--that gets the job done effectively. In addition, less is always best--especially as it pertains to flash and micro fiction.

This guy's a whack-job who think he's possessed by demons who feed on human teeth--not a vampire, a zombie, or some undead ghoul--plain and simple. He could even be your next door neighbor.

Heaven forbid...

reply by J Patience on 17-Aug-2015

I suppose "horror" is in the eyes of the reader just as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I don't need splattering blood to like horror, but given this setting it was expected, that's all. I was simply giving my feedback as a reader. What it comes down to is, some of us are not as easy to scare as others. Again, good luck.

reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Boy, you got that right. I just read your story Ghost Room, but I didn't dock it a star simply because it failed to scare me.

That would not have been fair, and I don't scare easily either...believe me when I tell you this.

I base my ratings on the grammar, the punctuation, and the forum or context on which it was written.

Nothing more, nothing less.

~Dean

Comment from Benjamin Valencia

Excellent

Hi. Well this is a neat little entry for the contest. I like a good vampire story and you tell it well. I didn't quite get this line, "My demons are hungry--constantly craving human teeth." Does this mean that your character isn't into blood, rather he's into collecting teeth? Good luck in the contest. Cheers.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

He's not only into collecting teeth, he's into eating teeth. He's no vampire, just some whack-job with an appetite for human bone. Must be the calcium...
Thanks for reading.

reply by Benjamin Valencia on 17-Aug-2015

Ah..now it becomes clearer to me. Cheers for sharing.