The Gist
A tragedy that rhymes24 total reviews
Comment from June Sargent
A sad and touching piece that captures the pain of love and loss. It flowed with a natural rhythm and told a story. Kept our interest from beginning to end. Well done.
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A sad and touching piece that captures the pain of love and loss. It flowed with a natural rhythm and told a story. Kept our interest from beginning to end. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
Comment from royowen
Oh dear, such a sad, sad, poem. But I love the near repeated theme at the end, I wonder if any of us would have been brave enough to withstand the rigours of the trouble this precious person endured. This is so well written, you have shown how masterful you are with rhyme and verse, well done, blessings Roy
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Oh dear, such a sad, sad, poem. But I love the near repeated theme at the end, I wonder if any of us would have been brave enough to withstand the rigours of the trouble this precious person endured. This is so well written, you have shown how masterful you are with rhyme and verse, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
Comment from Patty Palmer
Such a warm beginning and their future seemed so happy. The birth of a child completes the happiness. "Her boredom broke our wedded bond, my anger broke her wrist." Just before this line it says "Our baby was our pride and joy, now scarred by all the flames." It's difficult to decide if it is the wife's boredom and broken wrist. It can be taken two different ways.
Patty
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Such a warm beginning and their future seemed so happy. The birth of a child completes the happiness. "Her boredom broke our wedded bond, my anger broke her wrist." Just before this line it says "Our baby was our pride and joy, now scarred by all the flames." It's difficult to decide if it is the wife's boredom and broken wrist. It can be taken two different ways.
Patty
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
Comment from estory
I like how you created this tension in the lines by shortening them and the staccato rhyme scheme really adds to this sense of tension between him and her. There's a great sense of back and forth here. estory
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I like how you created this tension in the lines by shortening them and the staccato rhyme scheme really adds to this sense of tension between him and her. There's a great sense of back and forth here. estory
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Gist, tells a tale of love, relationship, and the heartbreak of abuse that rips a family apart, The need for help, yet the desire to be left to suffer, is an ending which will hopefully have a new ending later.
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This poem, The Gist, tells a tale of love, relationship, and the heartbreak of abuse that rips a family apart, The need for help, yet the desire to be left to suffer, is an ending which will hopefully have a new ending later.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This vividly descriptive, skillfully-composed poem describes the full-circle story of a relationship that began with two so much in love--then changed--as marriages so often do--and crashed and burned. A very realistic piece
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This vividly descriptive, skillfully-composed poem describes the full-circle story of a relationship that began with two so much in love--then changed--as marriages so often do--and crashed and burned. A very realistic piece
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Happiness doesn't always last forever as you so aptly depicted here in this very well-written poem. I get the gist! It's sad not to see a happy ending. But, you know, I say "Never give up." Who knows what the future may hold?
Ralf
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Happiness doesn't always last forever as you so aptly depicted here in this very well-written poem. I get the gist! It's sad not to see a happy ending. But, you know, I say "Never give up." Who knows what the future may hold?
Ralf
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from nomi338
The things we do to ourselves out of anger, fear or ignorance, does not alter the fact that the God who created us loves us so much that he allowed his only begotten, beloved and approved son to die on our behalf. You will never find a love greater than this. Although we sadden his heart with the foolish and destructive things we do to ourselves, he is still willing to forgive us if we ask him to. If you ever wonder what true love is, that my friend is the gist.
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The things we do to ourselves out of anger, fear or ignorance, does not alter the fact that the God who created us loves us so much that he allowed his only begotten, beloved and approved son to die on our behalf. You will never find a love greater than this. Although we sadden his heart with the foolish and destructive things we do to ourselves, he is still willing to forgive us if we ask him to. If you ever wonder what true love is, that my friend is the gist.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
Comment from elchupakabra
This was a really great piece, my one comment aesthetically is I might make the words bigger for those hard of viewing but other than that I loved the repeated line, I got the gist ;) Great work, thanks for sharing, later daze.
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This was a really great piece, my one comment aesthetically is I might make the words bigger for those hard of viewing but other than that I loved the repeated line, I got the gist ;) Great work, thanks for sharing, later daze.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem about a love relationship that starts well with romance and the needed attraction with chemistry, then something goes wrong and the couple drifts apart to never recover.
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A very well-written heartfelt poem about a love relationship that starts well with romance and the needed attraction with chemistry, then something goes wrong and the couple drifts apart to never recover.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
