Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "This Was Your Life"Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
13 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Debbie
Great horror, you do these well. Subtle and scary, entertaining. Grips the reader's interest. I remember the old black and white and the rabbit ears. lol I was wondering what to expect after the first paragraph... not what I got. :))) So many questions come to mind ... the who, what, where and when? Hairs raised on the back of my neck and goose pimples, so I guess you've done your job. A great entry into this fun? book. Dean will be proud of you, I'm sure. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Hi Debbie
Great horror, you do these well. Subtle and scary, entertaining. Grips the reader's interest. I remember the old black and white and the rabbit ears. lol I was wondering what to expect after the first paragraph... not what I got. :))) So many questions come to mind ... the who, what, where and when? Hairs raised on the back of my neck and goose pimples, so I guess you've done your job. A great entry into this fun? book. Dean will be proud of you, I'm sure. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2015
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Thank you again, my friend. My family has always and forever will think I am evil~Debbie
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Me, not being one of the young'ins remember those TV's and certainly remember This is Your life. Very clever way to tell us this little tiny tale of terror. A good chapter for Dean's book. I enjoyed, gave me a smile.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Me, not being one of the young'ins remember those TV's and certainly remember This is Your life. Very clever way to tell us this little tiny tale of terror. A good chapter for Dean's book. I enjoyed, gave me a smile.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed it~Debbie
Comment from Dean Kuch
I did like this, Debi. I liked it very much. It's subtle, not gory or excessively bloody (great horror rarely is), it's more than a bit eerie, as we're left wondering what thrust Julie into the strange situation she now finds herself in, and would she have watched the television screen had she known what was about to transpire. I also left wondering if this were a recurring nightmare Julie would have to live over, and over, and over again, for all eternity.
Great tiny tale! Thanks so much for another fantastic contribution to our book.
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I did like this, Debi. I liked it very much. It's subtle, not gory or excessively bloody (great horror rarely is), it's more than a bit eerie, as we're left wondering what thrust Julie into the strange situation she now finds herself in, and would she have watched the television screen had she known what was about to transpire. I also left wondering if this were a recurring nightmare Julie would have to live over, and over, and over again, for all eternity.
Great tiny tale! Thanks so much for another fantastic contribution to our book.
~Dean :)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Dean. This is the kind of nightmares I have, and yes, they repeat over and over. Glad you enjoyed this, my friend~Debbie
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You're very welcome, Debi.
Comment from Nosha17
I remember the tellies like that with the funny aerial and that show. I don't have a TV now and I am glad. Well written short story with a gruesome ending. Good use of descriptive language and an enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I remember the tellies like that with the funny aerial and that show. I don't have a TV now and I am glad. Well written short story with a gruesome ending. Good use of descriptive language and an enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 21-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I have mine on most of the time, but don't really watch it. Most of the time, I don't even know what show is on. Thank you, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Michaelk
I (unfortunately) am old enough to remember those TV's. By today's standards, you were held hostage to whatever the three networks were showing.
I liked your story. It was creepy, especially when the replay of her life flashed on the TV.
I was confused. You never mentioned her having to walk up stairs, yet she ran down the stairs and into his knife.
Good story. Thanks for sharing it.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I (unfortunately) am old enough to remember those TV's. By today's standards, you were held hostage to whatever the three networks were showing.
I liked your story. It was creepy, especially when the replay of her life flashed on the TV.
I was confused. You never mentioned her having to walk up stairs, yet she ran down the stairs and into his knife.
Good story. Thanks for sharing it.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, my friend~Debbie
Comment from G.B. Smith
HOLY COW DEBBIE!!
I was totally taken in and aback with the conclusion of this superb short shocker. MY WORD, it had me right until the end.
I love stories like this. Keep on keeping on
Bear
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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HOLY COW DEBBIE!!
I was totally taken in and aback with the conclusion of this superb short shocker. MY WORD, it had me right until the end.
I love stories like this. Keep on keeping on
Bear
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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I'm trying to write more prose. When I joined Fanstory, that was my intention. I had never written poetry and fell in love with it. Have a great day, my friend. Huge hugs~Debbie
Comment from barbara.wilkey
YUCK!!!!!!!!!!! I remember those old TV's. My first memory was a TV in black and white. Your post is very well written. I am sure Dean will enjoy this one. LOL
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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YUCK!!!!!!!!!!! I remember those old TV's. My first memory was a TV in black and white. Your post is very well written. I am sure Dean will enjoy this one. LOL
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you, my friend~Debbie
Comment from JW
Actually, my first recollection of a TV was a large walnut cabinet with a round tube in the middle - that displayed black and white pictures. -- When lucky, my favorite TV show at the time would be on - Howdy Doodie.
Thanks for sharing this, Debbie. JW
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Actually, my first recollection of a TV was a large walnut cabinet with a round tube in the middle - that displayed black and white pictures. -- When lucky, my favorite TV show at the time would be on - Howdy Doodie.
Thanks for sharing this, Debbie. JW
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Jonathon. I don't remember much besides Underdog and Casper. I don't think we were allowed to watch much else. I hope you are getting stronger. Have you tried physical and occupational therapy? They do seem to really help with both strength and endurance. Take care, my friend~Debbie
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It seems for now my health level has peaked. I'm able to do about 10% of what I used to do and about 2% if it's physically strenuous. At some time my cardiologist wants to stop and restart my heart in hopes of getting more near normal heartbeat. He thinks that might help me reach a higher recovery level. I guess we'll have to wait and see because I currently can't afford it - I'm neck high in medical bills already. :-)
Thanks for your concern, Debbie. JW
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I can understand the medical bills. With my leg, I had more than a million dollars. Fortunately, I was considered indigent and most of them were written off. Two of them sued me, but they can't garnish SSDI, so they are wasting a lot of money trying to collect. Have you applied for disability and medicaid? I would try to get some of them written off. It's a lot of paperwork, but well worth it. Take care, my friend~Debbie
Comment from tfawcus
What deliciously macabre reminiscences! I remember watching the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II in 1953 on a TV that had been made by our French teacher at school, out of 'scrap' parts. He couldn't work out how to achieve black and white, with a CRT, so we watched it in various shades of green! There must be a slimy tiny tale of terror buried somewhere in there! Richard Dimbleby was the commentator.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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What deliciously macabre reminiscences! I remember watching the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II in 1953 on a TV that had been made by our French teacher at school, out of 'scrap' parts. He couldn't work out how to achieve black and white, with a CRT, so we watched it in various shades of green! There must be a slimy tiny tale of terror buried somewhere in there! Richard Dimbleby was the commentator.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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In this day of 24 hour programming and flat screen TV's. I'm glad you enjoyed the memories, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Jay Squires
Darkness descended hours before Julie stepped inside her front door. [Since it was hours before, why not distance it with a "had" before "descended".
You did a good job maintaining the tension of this piece throughout.
The standard was to have three, so many years ago. [If you have two more words you can use, try "She remembered" before "The". This makes it seem less like the author is telling the reader the facts of the times.
Julie watched while every mistake she had made in life was replayed on the screen. [My thought is you are limited to words. If you weren't it would be better to dramatize a few short scenes: you mentioned the coloring incident, a specific instance of the teen years would be good here, and this WOULD BE important, you could include a more recent incident--perhaps of a person whose advances she spurned. That would obviously tie into the climactic scene. All that would add about 50-60 words, but you'd be able to eliminate, "Julie watched while every mistake she had made in life was replayed on the screen," since you'd be describing them.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Darkness descended hours before Julie stepped inside her front door. [Since it was hours before, why not distance it with a "had" before "descended".
You did a good job maintaining the tension of this piece throughout.
The standard was to have three, so many years ago. [If you have two more words you can use, try "She remembered" before "The". This makes it seem less like the author is telling the reader the facts of the times.
Julie watched while every mistake she had made in life was replayed on the screen. [My thought is you are limited to words. If you weren't it would be better to dramatize a few short scenes: you mentioned the coloring incident, a specific instance of the teen years would be good here, and this WOULD BE important, you could include a more recent incident--perhaps of a person whose advances she spurned. That would obviously tie into the climactic scene. All that would add about 50-60 words, but you'd be able to eliminate, "Julie watched while every mistake she had made in life was replayed on the screen," since you'd be describing them.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Jay. I did quite a bit of editing. If you get a chance, could you give it a peek. Your reviews are so helpful, my friend~Debbie :)
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I re-read it. Glad you added the "had". I was hoping there would be something on the "This Is Your Life" program that would tie in with the wielder of the knife at the climax. The way you have it now, there is nothing connecting them. It's coincidence. Let me know if I'm not making that part clear.
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That's true---
I'll have to think on that.
I really appreciate all of your help and friendship~Debbie
