My job.
I know how to fix it.12 total reviews
Comment from abbasjoy
How sad that the child feels everything gone wrong is her fault. Sometimes children get that perspective because as parents we say or do something to cause this to happen, however in some instances they take on this self imposed guilt which is so sad.
This little one was so guilt ridden she was even prepared to do the unthinkable to appease her father, to save her mother.
This maybe fiction, but I'm sure in some homes that is the way it is.
Well written from the child's perspective.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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How sad that the child feels everything gone wrong is her fault. Sometimes children get that perspective because as parents we say or do something to cause this to happen, however in some instances they take on this self imposed guilt which is so sad.
This little one was so guilt ridden she was even prepared to do the unthinkable to appease her father, to save her mother.
This maybe fiction, but I'm sure in some homes that is the way it is.
Well written from the child's perspective.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from meggie13
What a sad thing for a child to witness! The poem is written from the child's point of view. He/she tries to help her mother who has been a victim of spousal abuse. He/she is trying to help her from more abuse as the husband comes back from a ride. The child is a hero! Well written with good imagery and very emotional. Good picture used to mirror your poem . Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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What a sad thing for a child to witness! The poem is written from the child's point of view. He/she tries to help her mother who has been a victim of spousal abuse. He/she is trying to help her from more abuse as the husband comes back from a ride. The child is a hero! Well written with good imagery and very emotional. Good picture used to mirror your poem . Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
What a powerful story about child abuse. It is very haunting, but terribly believable. Great response to the prompt. Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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What a powerful story about child abuse. It is very haunting, but terribly believable. Great response to the prompt. Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Your story is pretty good but not believable. The child is taking care of his mom and having sex with his dad to save mommy but he says it very nonchalant.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Your story is pretty good but not believable. The child is taking care of his mom and having sex with his dad to save mommy but he says it very nonchalant.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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What I was trying to convey was that when a child suffers this kind of trauma sometimes they go to another place in their heads in order to survive. That is part of the horror. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Jeepers! What sounded like a fun and uplifting theme to me has so far been pretty depressing LOL. You deliver a well penned story of what goes through a child's mind when they live in an environment filled with spousal abuse. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Jeepers! What sounded like a fun and uplifting theme to me has so far been pretty depressing LOL. You deliver a well penned story of what goes through a child's mind when they live in an environment filled with spousal abuse. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you for reviewing. Children tell themselves whatever they can live with in order to survive these situation.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Writer,
You have written a very interesting story, although the child who is telling the story should never have to live in a situation like that. It's too bad someone doesn't turn the father in.
Kat
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Hi Writer,
You have written a very interesting story, although the child who is telling the story should never have to live in a situation like that. It's too bad someone doesn't turn the father in.
Kat
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
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I liked what you wrote.
Comment from jpduck
I feel confused by this. Not by your writing, which is completely clear, but by how I feel about it. My instinct is that it is far too light-hearted about a truly awful subject. Almost tasteless. And yet, I am aware that my instinct may be wrong -- that what I'm reading is a kind of savage irony. I think I will now take a look to see what others have made of it.
Adrian
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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I feel confused by this. Not by your writing, which is completely clear, but by how I feel about it. My instinct is that it is far too light-hearted about a truly awful subject. Almost tasteless. And yet, I am aware that my instinct may be wrong -- that what I'm reading is a kind of savage irony. I think I will now take a look to see what others have made of it.
Adrian
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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It is horrific. But often when a child is over whelmed they fabricate their own roles in situations in order to survive. This is the story this child has told herself. That is part of the horror. Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is such a sad write, mystery writer, children should be allowed to have innocence in their childhood, not trauma that lasts for the rest of their life. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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this is such a sad write, mystery writer, children should be allowed to have innocence in their childhood, not trauma that lasts for the rest of their life. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an utterly poignant story about an abusive husband and the child and wife he has damaged. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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This is an utterly poignant story about an abusive husband and the child and wife he has damaged. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mary H-W
So-o-o sad. Well told, and so emotional. Certainly fits the prompt rules.
You've got a real contender here. I only hope you didn't write this from experience.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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So-o-o sad. Well told, and so emotional. Certainly fits the prompt rules.
You've got a real contender here. I only hope you didn't write this from experience.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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No. Not from my experience. Thanks for the great review.