Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "The Hippo-Cat"Fiction and non-fiction prose
13 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
like wetbacks and towelheads either.
(classic! Hippo-cat)
P.S. I didn't like that game we played yesterday, it made me feel funny.
(Oh you do like pushing the envelop. This letter is something I could see Butters from southpark writing.)
This was a really witty play with innocence,... out the mouth of babes. Kind of has a southpark edge to it. (Not sure if you ever have seen that particular show.) Hippo-cat. Yeah. I enjoyed this letter. I'm only sorry I didn't see it sooner.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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like wetbacks and towelheads either.
(classic! Hippo-cat)
P.S. I didn't like that game we played yesterday, it made me feel funny.
(Oh you do like pushing the envelop. This letter is something I could see Butters from southpark writing.)
This was a really witty play with innocence,... out the mouth of babes. Kind of has a southpark edge to it. (Not sure if you ever have seen that particular show.) Hippo-cat. Yeah. I enjoyed this letter. I'm only sorry I didn't see it sooner.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
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Thanks for the great review, Turtle. Much appreciated :) Craig.
Comment from ~Dovey
I think your title is quite funny and true to the contest it reads like a child told the story, rife with the attitudes parents instill without even realizing. The artwork was perfect, too. Wishing you the best!
Kim
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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I think your title is quite funny and true to the contest it reads like a child told the story, rife with the attitudes parents instill without even realizing. The artwork was perfect, too. Wishing you the best!
Kim
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thanks for your kind review, much appreciated.
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Superb writing. The artwork goes very well with your writing. Just imagine I didn't have to tell you of a typo or spelling error whew the first yet in this contest. I love the humor you try to in still into adult situations. I love how you put that little dig in there that it is all right for adults but not children....Just stunning writing.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Superb writing. The artwork goes very well with your writing. Just imagine I didn't have to tell you of a typo or spelling error whew the first yet in this contest. I love the humor you try to in still into adult situations. I love how you put that little dig in there that it is all right for adults but not children....Just stunning writing.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, The Mom, for your really lovely review -- I appreciate it very much.
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Your very welcome
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Your welcome,
Darlene
Comment from abbasjoy
How important it is for our actions to line up with our words, especially to our kids, they always have their eyes and ears open and miss nothing.
We maybe the only Jesus they see, so it is important to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.
A popular 'white lie' is when the phone rings and the parent asks the child to tell the person he or she is not at home. Then when the child is caught stealing the parent wonders where on earth they got that horrible example. Well, guess where?
A well written story with a profound message. Love 'hippo cat.'
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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How important it is for our actions to line up with our words, especially to our kids, they always have their eyes and ears open and miss nothing.
We maybe the only Jesus they see, so it is important to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.
A popular 'white lie' is when the phone rings and the parent asks the child to tell the person he or she is not at home. Then when the child is caught stealing the parent wonders where on earth they got that horrible example. Well, guess where?
A well written story with a profound message. Love 'hippo cat.'
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, abbasjoy, for your really kind words. I appreciate your review very much.
Comment from Gloria ....
Yowza, author what a good job you've done with this prompt. I think the story in the letter works extremely well, because that draws in another more sinister element to the story.
Just a couple of points:
fight all the time -- mostly when they think we aren't listening -- but not always. Remember to use the long dash and it goes right up against both words with no spaces.
But dad (Dad) told - dad and mom are capitalized when used as proper nouns. My dad or my mom isn't though.
I guess lying is ok (OK or okay)
stealing dad's (Dad's) cigarettes. I sure hope dad (Dad)
Oh man, I just love this entry, author. It's a written story in a letter to a priest that implies so, so much.
Totally excellent write. Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Yowza, author what a good job you've done with this prompt. I think the story in the letter works extremely well, because that draws in another more sinister element to the story.
Just a couple of points:
fight all the time -- mostly when they think we aren't listening -- but not always. Remember to use the long dash and it goes right up against both words with no spaces.
But dad (Dad) told - dad and mom are capitalized when used as proper nouns. My dad or my mom isn't though.
I guess lying is ok (OK or okay)
stealing dad's (Dad's) cigarettes. I sure hope dad (Dad)
Oh man, I just love this entry, author. It's a written story in a letter to a priest that implies so, so much.
Totally excellent write. Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015
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Thank you Gloria, for your very helpful comments, and great review. I'll have to figure out how to do that long dash in the FS editor.Thank you also for understanding the point about the priest, not everyone got it. Your other points about the capitalization are also correct, and duly noted. Much appreciated!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
How does a child know the father cheats on their taxes when he doesn't even know who the IRS is? The last line, the child insinuates he is been sexually molested but he is really nonchalant about it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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How does a child know the father cheats on their taxes when he doesn't even know who the IRS is? The last line, the child insinuates he is been sexually molested but he is really nonchalant about it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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All he said is that the father told the IRS (whomever he may be) he earns less than he does. He doesn't use, and isn't aware of the concept "tax evasion". He could pick that up from conversation. Also, he is a young child, and not brilliant at expressing what he wants to say. It's not that he is "nonchalant" - but congratulations on being the only person to take it that way. Agenda?
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That was my review and my honest opinion from reading your poem. I don't think I gave less than four stars which is a good review. To me the story didn't sound believable.
Comment from ellie6
A very well observed story told through the eyes of a child How many parents have said 'don't do as I do, do as I tell you.' I know I have .
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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A very well observed story told through the eyes of a child How many parents have said 'don't do as I do, do as I tell you.' I know I have .
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you Ellie, for your kind comments. Much appreciated.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. These are all so serious and this one is yet another look at the damage which can be done by an unstable environment filled with abuse. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. These are all so serious and this one is yet another look at the damage which can be done by an unstable environment filled with abuse. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you Mystic Angel for your very kind comments. They are much appreciated.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Writer,
I've never hear of a Hippo-Cat before. A person, regardless of their age, can always learn something new. Your story was interesting, but at the same time it was sad. The parents in this story sure don't treat their children very well.
Kat
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Hi Writer,
I've never hear of a Hippo-Cat before. A person, regardless of their age, can always learn something new. Your story was interesting, but at the same time it was sad. The parents in this story sure don't treat their children very well.
Kat
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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No, they certainly don't. Thank you for your kind comments, MizKat, they are much appreciated.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Hippo-cats. That is exactly what his parents are. What a tremendous "example" they are sitting for the two boys. The old "do not do as I do, but do what I say" routine fully depicted in this well written story. Children are a whole lot more observing than they are given credit for most of the time. Then add in "Father Thomas" sexual acts with the young boy and no wonder he wants to be a hippo-cat when he grows up. He sees all grown-ups are. Should be a good contest entry too. Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Hippo-cats. That is exactly what his parents are. What a tremendous "example" they are sitting for the two boys. The old "do not do as I do, but do what I say" routine fully depicted in this well written story. Children are a whole lot more observing than they are given credit for most of the time. Then add in "Father Thomas" sexual acts with the young boy and no wonder he wants to be a hippo-cat when he grows up. He sees all grown-ups are. Should be a good contest entry too. Well done.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your understanding review and your kind comments. They are much appreciated.